hey~ this is kate. and i'm.......
completely his... (>////<)
sumimasen,
just reread the doki doki moments from yesterday!!
ehhh...really, i was surprised how far~ it got...
i totally didn't expect it when writing,
but i dunno...these feelings just came flooding out...!!
yesterday was a sweeeeeeeeet day.
in the evening, the blue sky seemed especially blue and pretty,
with big soft white clouds swimming by....almost
like i could touch them.so close~,
so pretty~ it was cold, but the warm gentle sunshine....ahh....
sou sou, PART 6!!
(ah, paramore's Brick by boring brick is playing on the radio!!
^O^ *jumps and dances around*)
and so...it's the day you've been waiting for.
it's the ningen shikkaku premiere (again)...*_*
and you're there with toma.♥
sumimasen,
just reread the doki doki moments from yesterday!!
ehhh...really, i was surprised how far~ it got...
i totally didn't expect it when writing,
but i dunno...these feelings just came flooding out...!!
yesterday was a sweeeeeeeeet day.
in the evening, the blue sky seemed especially blue and pretty,
with big soft white clouds swimming by....almost
like i could touch them.so close~,
so pretty~ it was cold, but the warm gentle sunshine....ahh....
sou sou, PART 6!!
(ah, paramore's Brick by boring brick is playing on the radio!!
^O^ *jumps and dances around*)
and so...it's the day you've been waiting for.
it's the ningen shikkaku premiere (again)...*_*
and you're there with toma.♥
February 19
7:11am @my hotel room
My phone rings, waking me up. i rub my eyes and reach for my phone, next to my pillow. Toma♥.
me: ozaimas! [i think? or ohayozaimas...quick way of saying good morning]
toma: ozaimas! did u sleep ok?
me: ma... (not really...had some nightmares about being in an airplane that is hit by lightning and crashes into the sea!! =T)
toma: i have to get going now...(cheerful) i hope i'll see you later at the theatre, before the stage greeting ne!
me: (nods) mm! gambarre!!
toma: (hyper) hai! see u later!
me: (cheerful) see ya!
i flip close my phone. guess i'll get up now, too. my phone chimes. i flip it open. toma sent me a pic of himself. ~_~ looks like from when he just woke up. lol. he looks sleepy and his hair's kinda messy. but still so cute!! and he is pouting and winking at me in the pic. and he writes "chu!♥" kawaii!! ahh...i fall back on my bed. and i give the toma on my cell phone an air kiss. ~_~
i get up and walk over to the window. i pull back the curtain and warm, bright sunlight streams in. thank goodness, it's not raining today! but it's still very cold. according to the weatherman, it's going to be a beautiful, sunny day today and tomorrow, though i see there are still some lingering dark clouds...but it's like the rain stopped especially for toma because today and tomorrow are important days for him!! (it's been raining a lot and even snowing, days before) amazing... ~_~ (9.5)
sometime later @a street, somewhere in tokyo
my phone chimes as i'm walking in the crowded street. i quickly get it and flip it open. toma posted an entry for Toma's Room! he says:
(volume 330)
finally. from tomorrow.
ningen shikkaku will open in theatres.
i waited dearly for this day.
ikuta toma's first movie.
i have put all of the power i have into it.
it's a production i can feel proud of.
please look after it.
iya...such a touching message ne! ~_~ i've waited so long for this day too. i know u worked so hard for this movie, toma. and i'm really really really really sooooooo proud of you!!♥
3:55pm @in front of a movie theatre
i've been waiting and waiting....i came early to get a good spot, but not early enough! so many girls here!! i don't think he'll be able to see me later. but there's so much TOMA LOVE~ and excitement~ here!! sugoi!! ^O^ i've been chatting with some of them as we wait for toma...it's fun to gush with other toma fans about him ne! some girls are not even asian and came from countries far away to support him!! (SHOUT OUT to all the non-asian toma fans!! xD) but one of the hardest things about being toma's secret girlfriend is NOT being able to tell any toma fan about it...incredibly hard!! but i know i can't...
it's so cold, we can see our breaths. i rub my arms to keep warm....and then everyone suddenly stops talking... i jump up and down, trying to see what's going on (i'm way in the back). toma and some other people are here!! they wave to us as they walk towards us. some fans start taking pictures of him...
[toma's wearing a cool suit, maybe like this:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjslEGJwiw-cDjtU_IUPPwYU3IHw7xFbkPKedey3IGfBXL0DNzsJAsIYWjxvKEEp_FgDN2s1jesGVQJyXsHaIamRr5Su8oiEgkN1C7ph_a3i8H2YJ150a8ZrAT8nPCmvRzReBDlp7tW-tkO/s1600-h/%23B&W+5569a4d6690bd1dbe322f7d.jpg
http://img94.imageshack.us/img94/9185/0af9c579c46792942badc8d.jpg
*__* actually, looks like he wore that suit to a tv show he was on!! heehee. this one. that checkered shirt is cool!!
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhssdEmswGGUvkhEh2io5cosLYSDpKndd-Sj0UULdX5GNV_-uj4M_dnS8oLlrwyQ4_OoGqvxsCjsYdAZGnerGKgm4wNRq7jVE6NhpC9IR1Tufyar2vtDBj5d-e8lCLbmHW3TPzynquN9rWq/s1600-h/zomboid--lolcloses320x240.png]
they walk towards us...toma tries to find me in the crowd... the girls in front politely wave and say hi to toma. i jump up and down, calling out "toma!" but i'm kinda short and some other girls are also doing the same thing... he can't see me or hear me from behind all these people... toma waves and smiles at us. he takes one last look...and smiles and slightly bows, saying "arigatou gozaimas!" and he turns and goes inside the theatre. *sigh* failed! but i'm still so glad i saw him go in. ^^ for the stage greeting tomorrow, i'll show up SUPER early and stand in front to make sure he sees me!!
[credit for these 2 pics:http://www.sumitomocorp.co.jp/english/topics/2009/20090206_110424.html
http://www.sumitomocorp.co.jp/english/topics/2008/20080926_153533.html]
somehow i totally forgot about looking for pics once i found out where it took place. lol. sorry! sugoi, this is pretty much what i imagined the theater to like like (small like this...)!!! http://www.unitedcinemas.jp/toyosu/index.html
and here are links to see pics of the cool cafe/bar/lounge: Breathe.
http://gridskipper.com/archives/entries/059/59298.php
http://www.unitedcinemas.jp/toyosu/breathe/index.html]
Premiere Night5:05pm @United Cinema Toyosu (9.6)
i'm way too early, since the premiere doesn't start until around 7pm. but there's already a lot of other people here too...the theater is about half full... i thought i should come early, just to be sure. toma's right, the theatre pamphlet is reallyyy nice! and this is a really nice but not so big theater...my seat is a little far from the stage, but it's in the center, and i think i can still see toma clearly... i'm kinda half-way back. (toma said he can try to get me a closer seat, but i said no, cuz i'm afraid he'll see me cry! and cuz i'll have to leave when the movie starts, i don't want anyone to notice me leaving and not coming back...
*o* i'm so nervous and excited and HYPER!!!! the girls sitting around me are toma fans too, so we have fun talking about him while waiting. xD there's even one guy sitting near us that joined our conversation! :D he doesn't like♥ him like us, but he likes toma's acting and thinks he's really cool. (SHOUT OUT to all of toma's male fans!!♂)
6:30pm @the theatre
toma sends me a pic. ^o^
he says: see you soon! sore ja!
the pic:
a cute pic of himself. ~_~ he's wearing a simple, classic black suit, white shirt, black tie. kyaa!! perfect hair~ too. he's standing next to a mirror (like in a dressing room). he's pouting cutely, making a victory sign with one hand. xD
i text him back:
kakkoii~!♥
gambatte!!
see you soon!
6:51pm @the theatre (9.7)
a nicely dressed man comes on the stage to greet us and talk about the movie a little...my heart starts beating fast...it's almost time!!
after a while, he announces it's time for the cast to come in....*HYPER*!!!!! everyone claps... and lots of bright flashing lights from the paparazzi's cameras up front [actually, lots of flashing lights the whole time, really...], near the stage, as the cast walks in....more clapping and loud cheering. ...and i see toma!!!♥ A LOT~ MORE CHEERING AND CLAPPING WHEN TOMA ENTERS!! i clap so much, and so hard, and call out "toma-kun!!" xD the girls around me do too! and seems like there's a big group of toma fans sitting near the stage...they cheer really loudly for toma!! ^o^ since all the clapping and cheering drowns us out anyway, i should have shouted "I LOVE YOU, TOMA!!". xD (i swear, one day, i'm gonna shout that somewhere in japan. lol. actually, it would be "toma, daisuki!!" or "toma, skiida!" xD)
and i notice...ah!! a red band at his waist that is mostly hidden...sugoi!! ^O^ everyone else is wearing black/white/grey colors only. haha. he just had to get some ningen RED in his outfit!! lol....^^
SUGOI!!!!!!! I'M SO HAPPY I CAN BE HERE WITH TOMA!!! HE LOOKS SO PERFECT TONIGHT TOO....AH....KAKKOII.♥ (LOVE HIS SIMPLE BLACK SUIT AND BLACK TIE. COOL HAIR~) AND I'M SO PROUD OF HIM!!!!! i feel like standing up...toma deserves a standing ovation!! but i wonder if it's ok...i dunno the premiere night etiquette in japan...but when am i gonna get this chance again??!! i'm just gonna do it!! i stand up and continue clapping for toma. ^_^ some girls around me also stand up!! and some other people around the theater, and his fans in front!! sugeh!!!!
toma looks surprised~ and so happy and touched to see many of us standing and clapping for him. *_* though he also seems nervous, of course. and he bows and mouths "arigatou gozaimas", as he looks up towards the audience...i think our eyes meet for a second, but i'm not sure! now that they're all standing there, the man introduces the director and cast...(more clapping especially when he introduces toma *_* ...but me and everyone who were standing have sat back down by now) they smile and pose for pictures. and toma and some other cast members smile and wave at the audience. ^.^ wow..... and it's cool to see satomi in person too. she looks beautiful~~ after they're done taking pictures, the director talks about the movie...toma looks around the theatre, at the audience...
http://i49.tinypic.com/wrnp03.jpg
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7VJe41T5asCjaRFgjx598S5rmnVpRe1AbTiUTUDcklwsUG-0aBpYQHG5mp-iFBoowl2EORO0GHH2uPNzMNzOo9Au72YHy_cA1XK9KNUO2J-hMtpcJ94IKktUFYYASkKYxxTKw9ZUm8K9x/s1600-h/jv6u76.jpg
[pics of toma smiling, laughing, bowing that night. and also waving, smiling, pouting. ^^ credit: zoe]
and he finally looks in my direction...!!! *_* i wave and smile at him!! the girls and guy around me do too. xD he sees me!! i can tell!!! (well, to make sure, i told him what i'd be wearing beforehand: a bright RED plaid coat, red plaid scarf, and red gloves too. lol. i only put the gloves on when i wave to him. xD)
and toma smiles at me~.♥
to be continued...
"i have put all of the power i have into it.
it's a production i can feel proud of.
please look after it."
ahhh...toma really worked hard for this movie.
he's really proud of it...i feel almost the same way about this fanfic, toma-kun... ~_~
not a complete standing ovation for toma, but still!! yey... *proud*
and some shout outs to certain toma fans!! heehee. *waves*
BUT....
EHHH!!! just realized today, i lost one of my pieces of paper with notes on it of some things i wanna write about (still haven't finished adding scenes for the end of feb.20)!!! WHERE COULD IT BE?? I'M SURE I DIDN'T THROW IT AWAY. freaking out.....though i'm pretty sure i remember what i want to write, but still....where the hell is it???!! last time i saw it, i took some pics of it. (cuz i made some little drawings on it. haha. thank goodness, now i can still look at those pics to see parts of my notes!!)
*keeps looking*
"i have put all of the power i have into it.
it's a production i can feel proud of.
please look after it."
ahhh...toma really worked hard for this movie.
he's really proud of it...i feel almost the same way about this fanfic, toma-kun... ~_~
not a complete standing ovation for toma, but still!! yey... *proud*
and some shout outs to certain toma fans!! heehee. *waves*
BUT....
EHHH!!! just realized today, i lost one of my pieces of paper with notes on it of some things i wanna write about (still haven't finished adding scenes for the end of feb.20)!!! WHERE COULD IT BE?? I'M SURE I DIDN'T THROW IT AWAY. freaking out.....though i'm pretty sure i remember what i want to write, but still....where the hell is it???!! last time i saw it, i took some pics of it. (cuz i made some little drawings on it. haha. thank goodness, now i can still look at those pics to see parts of my notes!!)
*keeps looking*
hi hi!
kate desu.
found my page of notes!!! whew~
baka...i should be more careful!!
(oh, i did reply to everyone's comments f/the other post, remember to read it! ~_~)
oh, sorry about the typos (fixed). i try to be careful, kedo.
and also added some edits in dark red text above.
here comes PART 7.
ah~ tears of joy... *cries*
[some of what toma and the others say below, are actually what they said that night! or what toma's said about the movie in various interviews. the parts with a * after it are actual quotes. *__* and again, thanks to enshinge for the premiere night news report!!]
but i'm not completely sure...the signal, toma! do the signal! i quickly fix my bangs and hair, to remind him. toma smiles again and then looks down for a moment and flicks his bangs!! ah! he really does see me!! ^_^V and then toma looks around the rest of the theatre and smiles at everyone...
the girls sitting near me: (hyper~) sugoi!! he looked and smiled in our direction!!! kakkoii!!
me: (cheerful) hai!!
Soon, it's toma's turn to talk...and sometimes he would look in my direction... ~_~ he's a little nervous, but really so proud and happy!!
toma: (in a quiet, calm voice...) this is my first leading role, in my first movie, kedo...i am very confident with this work. (*applause* nods and smiles) thank you. i'm glad my first movie can be one that is so meaningful...(purses his lips) i am so honored i could take part in such a wonderful production... (long pause...he gets emotional...he really looks very touched) thank you, everyone for coming. we worked hard those 2 months, to make this movie. it was an unforgettable time for me. and in the end, we were able to create something truly beautiful and heartfelt...i'm really proud of this movie. it's a movie worth watching... please enjoy it. (he bows slightly)
the man asks him how he feels about tomorrow finally being the opening day.
toma: (very emotional, purses his lips, quietly~) i await it from the bottom of my heart...*
me: (toma....tears well up in my eyes...)
the mood lightens up a little when the other actors and actresses talk...toma becomes cheerful again...smiling and laughing sometimes, at what they say....=) and later, toma thanks the director, cast and staff for taking care of him and working hard together during filming...
the other cast members talk about how they're glad they could take part in this movie, about their thoughts on the story, their character, etc....but one thing that they all mention is how they really enjoyed working with toma!! everyone showers him with compliments. they really do think so highly of him! they talk about how he's a very good actor, and his kindness, his cheerfulness despite the dark mood of the movie...and how he worked really hard, never once complaining, through out the whole filming of this movie.
toma looks very touched...he only smiles, politely nods, and looks down as they talk about how great he is...
i start crying. the tears just come...hearing them say such nice things about toma....i'm so proud of him!! he completely deserves all this praise...he's truly such a talented and amazing actor....and i hear sobbing from some the girls next to me... the actresses...the director...they all compliment him...it's overwhelming...especially when the famous actress, mita yoshiko says "he's a very bright existence" *....*sobs*!!!
with each compliment, toma gets more and more emotional...i'm crying so hard, i don't know what the last person said...and then the man asks toma for his reaction to all these compliments from his sempai.
toma: ehhh... (stutters and starts crying!! he looks down, rubs his eye...looks back up and covers his mouth...) sumimas-- * (stutters again, looking down, holding his nose, trying to stop. everyone claps for him!!)
(( tears of joy...
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgTQN0okCPfzYT6LYRrEhWL03yJS6WEJg5RGpygyTG8VmP74bkp6zE2J4new3fsqJbted2zSZqRbcMoPvuVMRAKHYNgQc7DQ9ohsdBLTlZb_imCZpWrUTgFQV2TMCy5g2PhIHCmn7GcQCs/s1600-h/tomadontcry~.PNG ))
i clap hard!! and i'm crying so hard now......toma!! i wish i could rush onto the stage and hug him right now! toma, don't cry.... *sobs* and toma manages to calm down a little...
toma: (quietly~) shiawase des. arigatou gozaimas.* (he smiles. *sniffs* he bows. *applause* and covers his mouth again...he looks down, wiping away his tears... )
he is still crying a little, as the director talks about the movie some more...and he looks towards me... i look at him... tears still streaming down my face... i can't stop... toma wipes his tears away... and it's his turn to talk again... he has managed to calm down, but his eyes are red and wet...
toma: (still with tears in his eyes...) thank you, everyone for coming tonight. i'm very grateful. truly. thank you for believing in me. everyone present in this theatre...from the bottom of my heart, arigatou gozaimas. (he bows twice. *applause* he wipes his nose and looks embarassed...) he turns around and softly asks the staff-san on the side of the stage something...) [found out later, he was saying "could i have a tissue, please?" *]
someone quickly gets him a handkerchief, and toma dabs his eyes with it...the group of toma fans near the stage shout out "gambatte!" * to him... ~_~ me and the fans around me also say "gambatte!" though he probably can't hear us, as we wipe away our tears...trying to stop crying... toma keeps dabbing at his eyes, trying to stop too...
the other actors talk a little more...they all thank everyone for coming...they're really happy to be here tonight...etc... toma has stopped crying and is smiling and cheerful again. ~_~ and the man thanks the cast and director for and they thank him too....the man announces the movie will start soon and asks them to take their seats. *loud applause* as they're walking towards the end of the stage, he and the other actors smile and wave at the audience.
and he looks towards me and smiles and waves.♥ ureshii!!!!! ^_^ i smile and wave back at him. before getting off the stage, he glances at me once more and smiles.♥ i'm so happy...tears well up in my eyes again...*sniff* they head down to their seats. i know i have to leave soon.....and now it's completely dark...
i reluctantly stand up as the Kadokawa Shoten Pictures logo appears on the screen.
the girl sitting next to me (whispers): where are you going?? it's starting!
me: (whispers) ano...the restroom... i'll be right back. (smiles) it's been nice talking to all of you.
girl: (smiles) hai! hurry, then!
me: (i nod. ah, i feel bad about lying to her...)
the movie is starting...i avoid looking at the screen as i carefully make my way out... but i can hear the sad music starting to play as i quietly open the door to leave...
(more pics from the premiere night and opening day stage greetings:
http://zoe-ikto.blogspot.com/2010/02/19-y-20-0210papapics-pre-estreno-y.html)
((in case you haven't read it. KATE'S PREMIERE NIGHT/OPENING REPORT... http://ikutatomalove.blogspot.com/2010/02/kates-ningen-shikkaku-premiere-night.html))
to be continued...
*sniffs* i really didn't expect to cry when editing/adding to this part...but i just got so emotional...even before i rewatched the clips...and it makes me wish with all my heart that i could be there with toma at the hanamizuki premiere. *dreams* but if ningen and toma could come here...!! i'd be so happy. *cries*
and i got something ningen-related in the mail from my friend...it made me cry again. arigatou~ hounto ni!♥
this is quite early, but i was wondering what moments have been your favorite so far?? we're up to part 7 now....since toma and us won't be spending as much time together the rest of these days (feb.21 is the last), it's kinda at the half-way mark already... hai. =T but don't worry, there's still more doki doki coming up...less time together means we're gonna make the rest of our time together really~ count ne....♥
actually went to see a movie today after a looong time. alice in wonderland. even when johnny looks weird, he is still so cute!! xD but while in the theatre, i kept thinking, i wish i was watching ningen. *sigh*
doumo~
kate des.
gomen, today's a very short update!
and today makes it 1 week since i started posting up this fanfic. wow...
about yesterday... careline sent me a ningen flyer
she got while in tokyo... it's beautiful.
i'll treasure it!! thanks again, careline-chan!♥♥
kate des.
gomen, today's a very short update!
and today makes it 1 week since i started posting up this fanfic. wow...
about yesterday... careline sent me a ningen flyer
she got while in tokyo... it's beautiful.
i'll treasure it!! thanks again, careline-chan!♥♥
8:37pm @my hotel room
just got back... i cry again... i'm so completely happy for toma. truly... i'm so glad i was able to be there with him on such an important night in his life!! *sobs* my stomach hurts from all this crying...and i realize i'm very hungry. i should go get something to eat. i wipe away my tears and go to the bathroom to wash my face before going out...
10:38pm @my hotel room
still haven't heard from toma. he must still be at the premiere's after party or celebrating with his family and friends... i pick out my clothes for tomorrow... i have nothing else to do, so i email...i don't even know his name! the guy that looks like nino. ^.^ just want to say "hi!". and i'm also watching the winter olympics on tv right now, too... ~_~
11:02pm @my hotel room
i'm watching toma on VVV6. ~_~ that lady has such a huge crush on my toma ne!! (laughs) sorry, but he's taken! and i'm a little mad that they made toma reenact that nakatsu/mizuki almost-kiss with her!! arrgh...
[reenacting the almost kiss: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDd72v0Bd7iXyNk4jcNXLgUiBEgohcBy1hKRxgsof2WdLt5sTs4Jwm7xBMS1OSgi-XhJt3uF2HoQIJRo9Na3rbKBibhtI130iZXkyiLhc2hqgMNgNo3dR6LYIhPHnWlXswOx2OpEiewgxl/s1600-h/WHAT!!+reenact+THEkiss.PNG]
i check my email on my cell phone... nino (i'll just call him that since i don't know his name. lol.) emailed me back. was about to read his email, when i notice i got an email from my friend back in [whatever country u live in]! no subject title...i immediately read her email.
she only wrote: she said yes!
Ah!!! only a short sentence, yet it means the world to me!! i can't believe it!! i start crying again... i'm so happy~~ and i call my friend right away.....
11:50pm @my hotel room
i absentmindedly spin the crisscrossing ring that toma gave me on the table... (11) the tv is still on. the winter olympics. i've been watching figure skating and some other events tonight...it's kinda exciting. ^-^ i always root for the person representing japan. lol. but i'm exhausted... i didn't get much sleep last night, and i've been crying so much today. *yawns* i shut my eyes tight and open them again.
[like toma in this cute gif: http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/91352033/1985400 (credit: spacemonkeyluvn@LJ). ever since i saw it like...a yr or so ago, i have gotten into the habit of shutting my eyes tight and then opening them, when my eyes feel tired. lol. i dunno if toma has a habit of doing this or not, but he looks SOOO cute when he does it. remember that cute pic of him doing that in a magazine during Voice?? http://i508.photobucket.com/albums/s322/ilovetoma2/P1070759.jpg]
i flip open my cell phone.
toma's cute picture looks back at me.♥
ma...he probably has no time to call or come see me today after all. but tomorrow, i'll see him before the stage greeting, and at night we'll watch ningen together. ^_^V
i send him a text msg before i go to bed:
Toma, omedetou!!
i'm so proud of you.
i'm going to sleep now.
oyasumi~.
[yr name]♥
and i set my cell phone alarm for 5:30am, to see if there's news of the premiere night on tv tomorrow morning. ~_~
credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/fueledbycoffee/3688836422/
[how the room looks at night...except i wouldn't have so much clutter on/around the table. =) and it'd be darker w/out the other lights on. and this is the view f/the bathroom. a very SMALL room, but at least it looks cool. haha. http://www.flickr.com/photos/fueledbycoffee/3688035187/in/photostream]
1:19am @my hotel roommy phone rings, waking me up. my eyes still shut, i find my phone next to my pillow and answer it.
me: (half-asleep) moshi mosh.
toma: (quietly) ore da, toma.
me: (open my eyes, surprised~) eh! toma? ( i look at my watch. 1:20am.)
toma: (whispers) yabun, sumimasen...were you sleeping?
me: sou. kedo...
toma: (quietly) yappari. ano...can i come in?
me: ehh?? you're outside my door?
toma: mm.
me: (i quickly get out of bed and turn on the small light at the table) it's late... you didn't have to go to the trouble of coming to see me... (i quickly fix my hair before opening the door. ^_~)
toma stands right outside my door. he's now dressed in casual clothes, but still looking so kakkoii!! kyaa!!♥ he's wearing a black tie, white shirt, and a nice cardigan with jeans and boots.
[kinda like this:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomacollection17/2148488751/in/photostream/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomacollection17/2149282962/in/photostream/]
he's still holding his phone to his ear.
toma: (he smiles and quietly says~) ore wa itai.
(and he ends the call and puts his phone in his pocket. i do too.)
me: toma...♥ (smiles)
(he's soooooo sweet. there's no doubt. i have the sweetest boyfriend on earth!♥♥)
i hold his hand and gently pull him into my room. and i close the door...
to be continued...
yes~ more alone time for us in a bedroom.♥
*doki doki* ^.^
the next part.....ahhh. 1 of my favorite moments from this fanfic ne.
please look forward to it~!!
kate desu!
PART 9!!!
let's celebrate~!!
but first....a sweet sweet moment
while we're all alone...♥
toma: (looks at me, a little surprised) eh~PART 9!!!
let's celebrate~!!
but first....a sweet sweet moment
while we're all alone...♥
[naoto's (or toma's?) grey tanktop:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyn8uxTfnyPYzNg2h_so0bTk0_sQU1T38QJDaa0KYrpHzzrJSehgiOEBP7igXd6m-67W7860nuwAAfK7a0VS4DCUir-Qa_d4zD2NzJO0FFX7AE-rZYH1E5nCUD8gvw8oztaZITrpTaN2eI/s1600-h/Maou+-+Ohno+and+Ikuta%27s+Thoughts+on+Crank+Up.avi_000381714.jpg
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjskYFHwy4hdC2UgExo7s8f6h9pcOZzGgYXh-E01DzK71VG6UehfiPh6DcnY0q660ESlNn_-hfHo7qGJPvCLGbU_429krwh1nDr58-PYXSaPb8xaPg5M9bsozCJCoGDvpwAIf6I8gWrpw-i/s1600-h/CAPTURE~+Maou+extrasss.jpg
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEBLav2GFLdWwVVneiiJghKHT-AckmWdKibNvwyozsVYy-hv9m11qZHG91bfAvpPTni7d_8sAbEdOfKp-Rdu4rB9MnEeISB0auNc997kHY5nMpEtbrKvyv7UtwOwP06g_6fFeA-5oX9Fc/s1600-h/thirsty,+bored+%26+waiting+%40studio+%3D%29.PNG]
i'm wearing a grey tanktop similar to the grey tanktop toma (naoto) often wore in Maou. (ok, i know it's cold out, but it's warm in my room~) and pajama bottoms, something like this:
http://www.bluefly.com/Scanty-dark-blue-ski-%27BRRR!%27-drawstring-pajama-pants/cat20154/302412301/detail.fly?referer=ca_froogle&cm_mmc=ca_froogle-_-na-_-womens_sleepwear-_-302412301&mr:trackingCode=FF841B95-67BE-DE11-974B-0019B9C043EB&mr:referralID=NA. i like pants with drawstrings. ~_~
me: (embarassed, scratching my head) ano...i bought this cuz it looks like naoto's. (12)
toma: (smiles) souka. sugeh~
me: (cheerfully) toma, omedetou!! (i give him a big hug)
toma: (smiles) arigatou!! ano...i'm sorry i couldn't call or see you sooner...
me: (shake my head) iya...daijoubu. (smiles)
toma: (cutely pouts and holds my hands) i've already celebrated ningen shikkaku's premiere with the cast and my friends...but i still want to celebrate with you ne~
me: (ahh.♥ i nod and smile sweetly at him~) wakkata~.
toma: (cheerfully~) let's go to POP, downstairs. we can have some drinks and snacks... (13)
[POP = Plate of Pie. a 24-hour restaurant/bar at the hotel. more info at my info post.]
me: (hyper) hai! i just have to change first...
Toma and i look at the bathroom, with its see through glass walls and kinda transparent, thin white curtains...
toma: (embarassed) eh...i'll wait for you there. (he turns to leave...)
me: (softly~) iie. (i hold on to the end of his sleeve, stopping him. he turns around. i purse my lips, and quietly say~) you can stay.
toma: (*blush*, nervously scratches behind his ear, shyly~) kedo...
me: (*blush*, *doki doki*) just sit here at the table, and don't turn around...i won't be long. oh, here's your jacket and umbrella. (i gesture to them, the jacket's draped over the chair and his umbrella's leaning on the desk.)
toma: (nervously~) uh...hai. (he sits down, facing the wall.)
the table is so close to the bathroom, and this bathroom doesn't even have a locking door, only a sliding glass door!! but i completely trust toma, and...i...i guess i don't mind even if he secretly looks...or even.... *doki doki*!! i get the nicest outfit i have here with me and go in the bathroom, sliding the door close. and i pull the thin curtain over so that toma can't see me...but in my dimly lit room, i can still faintly see toma in front of me...
i untie the knot of the drawstring of my pants....but then seeing toma outside, so close to me... *blush* i turn around, my back to him, and start to undress...... and after i finish changing, i brush my hair, quickly check to see that i look ok... and i slide the door open and walk out.
me: toma... eh!
toma's resting his head on the table, on his arm...his eyes are closed. he fell asleep! he's so tired, but he still came to see me...♥ [he's resting kinda like this: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHogxlHDD20FDnPUA55sz8qUSiImeIZeDP7B-unfTEKGQ_-2hWmrpgZfPD2rSY1DDYrOCs_beRZEIUtILWrmqchkZjvu93PLSrM0XLNqHZFjNhlOkTjqHw_dXkCHYPduuoDFdwbaIU7xpN/s1600-h/DUETmarchPreview+GAHHHH.jpg]
i quietly call him again...he doesn't move. he's breathing softly... awww... he's so cute when he's sleeping!♥♥ ka~waii ne... and i just look at him for a while... i come closer to him...and lightly touch his soft hair. and i...slowly lean over and gently kiss him on the cheek. [like how nakatsu kissed mizuki in the manga... ah, sweetness!!! http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2729/4327508746_85746fd70f_o.png]
toma: (wakes up) mmn? (smiles sweetly) ah, you're done changing? (rubs his eyes)
me: toma, we don't have to go...if you're tired...
toma: (shakes his head, standing up. smiles~) daijoubu. iko ga?
me: (smiles) hai~!
toma walks over and holds my hand, leading me out the door.♥ we hold hands from the hallway, to the elevator...he doesn't let go until we get out of the elevator. ^_^
[POP looks like this... credit: http://www.bento.com/rev/2852.html]
and MAYBE the bar there looks like this...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/funkyjazz/2866622627/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/funkyjazz/2866627931/
it's late, but it's still quite crowded and noisy at POP. i don't really drink, so i just get some kinda red, pretty fruity drink. [or whatever u feel like drinking. it's up to you. =)] toma smiles at me and gets the same drink for himself.♥ and he orders some snacks for us too. we sit at a table on the 2nd floor of POP. it's less crowded here. we're sitting diagonally from each other, at one corner of the restaurant.me: (hold up my drink, smiling, cheeful~) kampai!
toma: (holds up his drink, clinking our glasses together) kampai! (smiles)
we drink and eat and talk...the food and drinks are pretty good~!
me: (hyper) toma, did you see me then?? i was the first person to stand up and clap for you when you entered!!
toma: of course i saw you! you're all RED~ (laughs) and you weren't that far away. (seriously~) arigatou. i was really touched to see many people stand up and clap for me. hounto ni~.
Ah, i was right. our eyes did meet for a second...♥
me: also, some other fans and i shouted "gambatte!" after you got the handkerchief, but you probably didn't hear...
toma: souka? i only heard the fans in front...(looks down, embarassed) i really cried...that was so embarassing...
me: no, it was really touching!! it shows that you really care about this movie and your role...that you poured your heart and soul into this movie. (13.5)
toma: (emotional) it was overwhelming...i'm so happy my sempais think so highly of me. i was so touched~!
me: hai! and i cried so much when i saw u cry...
toma: (smiles) i know, i saw you... (pouts) ja, you didn't keep your promise.
me: (quietly) i couldn't help it...i'm so happy for you... (tears well up)
toma: (a little teary-eyed, softly) wakkata. ureshii~.
me: you were so humble and gracious. i'm so proud of you. (trying to not cry again) but toma, you forgot our signal!
toma: (laughs) sou desu ne... i was so happy to see you, i forgot to use the signal.
me: (laughs) it's ok. (smiles) i'm glad we could see each other! (toma nods and smiles. i keep eating my piece of apple pie [or whatever is yr fav flavor]...) mm...oishii~
toma: can i have a bite?
me: (smiles) douzo~.
toma breaks off a piece of pie with his fork and pops it in his mouth. ah...again, toma's even cute when he's chewing... [like so: http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/7191/53270877201001241915340.gif] and he smiles...
but then...toma rests his head on his crossed arms on the table, like this:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn01P6lb6XPsdzE2e0C_DG0XCAPzVsGV9ubEO_YYUfCtE1BW319EinnO8SoYmkBaGGE0Vs6jm59msV9D0BZtT0OEku8CkVXb-AUdq9qQnpSZV_mNBTv2L9-AZLV5LgBgGrcVwDDDreQ_U/s400/%5BLS-SARS%5D+H%26C+03.avi_001715714.jpg
toma: (thoughtfully) i'm a little worried...i wonder how the movie will do at the box office. there are other good movies out now...kowai.
me: i think it'll be in the top 3, kitto!!
toma: (serious~) that's just it though...nothing is for sure. i really worked so hard to get to where i am today... but it feels like once i'm here, i have to work even harder to maintain what i have.... my success is not certain. but the expectations are so high for me now...and it's all been happening so quickly... it feels like i've been running continuously since rinokimi.... (14)
me: (quietly) toma....
the weight of being the lead actor of a movie...this heavy burden on his shoulders. all this pressure is really getting to him after all...
me: (i lightly touch him on the shoulder. quietly~) i understand....(toma glances up at me) i wish there was something i could do for you, kedo...
toma: (stares off into space for a moment, and then looks up at me, smiling, gently~) you have... because whenever i think of you...i forget everything else...all my worries disappear. and with every message, every phone call...you give me energy~. you've helped me keep going ne...arigatou.
me: (*blush* softly~) hounto? yokatta... toma, you know...i feel the same way about you... (tears well up in my eyes) you're so important to me... i don't know what i'd do without you. (looks down) and it hurts me...when you are sad or worried like this...
Toma sits up and gently holds my hand...i look at him...
toma: (a serious look on his face, quietly~) i'm sorry, i didn't mean to make you worried...(smiles sweetly~) i feel better knowing i'll always have your support... tonikaku, no matter what happens, i'll keep fighting! gambarimas!!
me: (smiles, nods) i know you will.
toma: hai! gambarimashou!
me: mm! (nods and smiles)
toma: (lets go of my hand, purses his lips) ma...i'm sorry you couldn't stay and watch the movie earlier...but i really want to be sitting next to you when you watch it.
me: (smiles) it's alright, i want to watch it with you, too. and i'm glad i can watch it along with everyone else, on the opening day!
toma: finally, the opening day is tomorrow ne...(looks at his watch) oh, i mean today. (laughs)
me: (cheerful, hold up my drink) kampai!! have an awesome opening day!
toma: (cheerful, *clinks* his drink with mine) kampai! arigatou! (seriously~) i've waited for this day for so long...
me: (smiles, quietly) i've waited so long for this day too, toma. it's your day...finally, everyone can watch your movie. and i'll be able to watch it with you, tonight...
toma: (touched) hai... (embarassed) i've gotten used to seeing myself on that big screen, but...some scenes are quite embarassing...(he looks down)
me: (looks down, embarassed) i'm worried about those~ scenes too.... (his intimate scenes with those women!!)
toma: sou da ne...(purses his lips and nervously scratches behind his ear)
me: (yawns) ah, gomen.
toma: (yawns) iya, i'm sleepy too. (laughs)
We're finished eating and drinking...
me: yabun...and you still have a busy day tomorrow...
toma: sou desu...
me: (reluctantly) we should go now.
toma: (softly~) okurimas~.
me: (softly~) hai~.
Toma walks me back to my room...
and he comes inside with me...
me: we're here...
toma: hai...
me: ja...
toma looks at me intently and hugs me.♥
toma: (sweetly) arigatou...i'm really happy you could be there with me tonight. it means so much to me...
me: (hugging him tightly, touched) atashi mou~
toma: (he lets go of me, quietly~) i'll see you tomorrow.
me: hai~
toma: ja, oyasumi~
he leans over, kissing me on the cheek... but he lingers for a moment before he pulls away...*doki doki*
to be continued...
ah...seems like toma doesn't want to leave yet, right????
gah!! i really loved the changing w/toma in the room and kissing sleeping toma parts!!!!!!!!!!!!!♥ and that pic, i took f/my one and only copy of the hana kimi manga.♥ (i should buy more sometime though...)
(have not been able to reread this part over many times, and some parts, i just wrote TODAY, so sorry if there's any typos!)
comments, PLEASE!! ~_~
P.S. sorry about the BIG FONT starting after the pic of POP.
dunno what happened. blogger is acting up. i'll fix it later. ja ne!
doumo!
kate dayo~ ^.^
PART 10.
douzo~!
we're alone in the hotel room...
what could happen?!!! *doki doki*
(uh oh...i am having a little trouble coming up with good ideas for the night of feb.20. i think from now, i'll post up shorter updates to give me more time to think. sumimasen~!)
kate dayo~ ^.^
PART 10.
douzo~!
we're alone in the hotel room...
what could happen?!!! *doki doki*
(uh oh...i am having a little trouble coming up with good ideas for the night of feb.20. i think from now, i'll post up shorter updates to give me more time to think. sumimasen~!)
i'm already somehow nervous/excited the whole time he was walking me back...nanka....i feel like something~ might happen between us tonight...but i had pushed the thought from my mind... but this kiss...!!♥ *blush* so many images jump in my mind again....of what could happen~ between us in this bedroom....kyaaaaaa!♥ *doki doki*!!!!! but i try to pretend i'm fine...
toma opens the door and walks out the door, standing there for a moment.
me: (softly~) toma...oyasumi.
toma smiles sweetly and nods. i slowly close the door....we keep looking at each other, until the door completely closes.... i stand there, leaning on the door...my eyes closed... *lets out a breath* still doki doki... suddenly, i have an extremely strong~ urge to open the door! and ask him to stay with me tonight...i want to, so badly!! but. i shouldn't... i can't...
i think of that song, need you now (lady antebellum):
"and i don't know how, i can do without...i just need you now~"
this is really how i feel now. toma, can't you tell...
i need you now. i just need you now....
but then... *knock knock*. eh?
toma: (whispers) [yr name]...
me: (*doki doki* ehh!! he can't possibly say..."can i stay here with you tonight?♥" ?????!!!!!! "oh baby, i need you now...")
(nervously open the door. softly~) nani? *blush*
toma: (smiles) gomen, i forgot to get my jacket and umbrella.
me: (EMBARASSED!! BA-KA!! of course he's just getting his things!!) souka... (toma walks in and gets his stuff)
Toma is about to walk out, but he notices the embarassed/disappointed expression on my face...
toma: doushitta?
me: (*blush*, embarassed~) uh...bezuni.
toma: (notices i'm blushing, and thinks for a moment...then he comes close to me...quietly~) eh~ did you think i was going to say...
me: (look at the floor) yada! sonna jun nayo!! (i look back up at him, nervously...)
toma: (*blush*, looks intently at me. softly~) i'll stay with you a little longer, if you want...♥
me: (*blush* ♥♥!! do want...♥ *doki doki* i nod...) hai~
(14.5)
Toma smiles at me and puts his jacket and umbrella on the chair next to the small table. he takes off his boots and sets them neatly by the door. and...toma holds my hand and...pulls me towards the bed!!!!!! *faints*
toma: (looks at me, gently) come on~
*DIES*
(>////////<)
i'm shaking a little...i slip off my tennis shoes... i...my heart is beating faster than ever before!!! nanka...i feel like the joy of this~ might just kill me. xD i'm already dying now!! but if i can...be with him tonight~ i don't care about anything else. this is what i really want. isn't it? this is it. i'm...ready.
as we walk past the table, toma turns off the light. the room is dark, but we can still kinda see each other...we sit down on the bed. toma looks at me so lovingly...ahhh!! he's so beautiful, he just takes my breath away.
and toma takes off his cardigan.... and he loosens his tie...
*DIES AGAIN*!!!!
toma: (touches my cheek, quietly~) i'll just stay until you fall asleep...
OOH... HE MEANS, LITERALLY, US SLEEPING TOGETHER. xD *lets out a breath* whew!!! i thought i was ready, but i'm really not. geez, toma, some day you're gonna give me a heart attack. lol. i'm relieved....BUT STILL!!! us in bed together.... no one can interrupt us. *DOKI DOKI*
me: (softly) demo...
toma: (smiles) don't worry. i'll set an alarm on my cellphone. i'll just sleep for a little while... (cutely) i want to be with my wife a little longer tonight neee. (*winks*) (kyaa!!!♥ toma's wink. *faints*!! http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/9/8/209169/waw.gif
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4040/4433756649_b0f45cd11d_o.png)
*DIES AGAIN*!!!!
(>////////<)
toma starts pulling back the covers...kyaa!!♥ and...he's in my bed, sitting there under the comforter...waiting for me. i just sit there and look at him...i can't seem to move...*doki doki*!!!! and i feel SO hot...
toma: [yr name]~ (i keep looking at him...he smiles sweetly, gesturing for me to 'come here~♥')
*DIES AGAIN*!!!! xD
me: hai...
i slowly move towards him...i get under the covers, next to toma...next to my boyfriend. for the first real~ time...we're in bed together. no one else here. just the two of us. ah... we look at each other... *doki doki* i was feeling so chaotic just now, but when i see him smiling at me like this....ah... this feels so right. we belong together...and i feel more relaxed...
toma: (looks at me intently, quietly~) i'm glad i forgot my umbrella and jacket...(he gently touches my shoulder...)
toma's touch...♥♥ me too, toma...i'm so glad...i'm so happy... and...i...i want to show you how much i love you~ i have to do it right now, before i lose my nerve...
i lightly hold his face with my hands...toma smiles~. and i slide my hands down, touching his neck......his chest... toma looks surprised...but i sense he's getting excited, like me...and i think he wants me to keep going. he stays still...
and i...i....i gently tug on his tie and pull him towards me, giving him a long kiss...♥ mm... *DIES* we kiss....and touch....over and over...almost as if we'll never see each other again after tonight...!! and...and.... toma pulls me down to the bed with him....*gasp*
oh, toma... mm... i was only going to give him a kiss...but nanka....he's really excited now. but so am i....it's my fault...why did i have to touch his chest...it got us both so.....!! but really... ah.....maybe i am ready..... to be...completely his. *gasp*
and...toma breaks away from my kiss and gets on top of me...straddling me. both of us *breathless*.
toma: (softly) daijoubu? are u really sure u want to...
me: (softly) hai... (but be gentle, toma...i'm sure you will, though. but...i don't mind... if you get a little rough with me either...!!)
and toma kisses me again...mm... we grasp and tug at each other's clothing....and toma lets me go...*gasp* so that we can.... i sit up...we look at each other...toma gently touches my face...my neck... he slowly unzips my hoodie...and pulls it off. he loosens his tie...takes it off. i...i slowly unbutton his shirt...and slip it off him...half-naked toma!!! *dies* his chest...he's so fit and strong. and i touch his bare chest... and i let him pull off my t-shirt... we kiss again and fall back on the bed... he kisses me harder... i hold onto him...our bodies close, rubbing against each other in such a way.... oh toma...*gasp* ...he starts kissing my neck...mm... he pulls down one side of my tanktop, kissing me near my shoulder...
my heart is beating so fast...wait, toma...slow down...i'm...i'm...
i start feeling light-headed....
everything becomes blurry....
toma sees that something's wrong and stops...
toma: daijoubu?
*FAINTS* (for real!!)
[pics of shirtless toma....GAH.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQWkRgoQsW3qW3BL-95pt3klfqvjI9bShwHNZ7uQRwPo7MUBydX-1R6-fIkfvkZyAbhChd23cL43_JNyI2Ddf9a-gn0QgprRO3xqNK0z22VN6iXlmgO35Z-hzVNOzBcc4kWZ6wo2R8-s9s/s400/HOTnessssYukatoma.PNG
this is the newest one, but the older shirtless pics of toma are yummyyyy. xD
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQZ0DFR9l2nBZ9SyVv2Qk5MsLHdWSaxQ5t9MVwdPszs0dwT8roClWkku86PgrXOBmpLDcwKVBHsV7lR95XdwlaQ7ljxj_i6cUindWTBg6p3x41696WzPCaoxjwItfhIB6wSP1YZEmWr-k/s1600-h/wettt+2.jpg
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPVeag2K131oebAbgbJcxxAA2eXPd0A9jE8KWcB6GCbFRFvvFiG2FNp9BoEyQX1Hx2wtKK03lesnboAwKzEF9zrYTrenqUNIi3D_4v30Tir2U1NFyBL6Z0ZMBlJJ1t8t7UPkkLWESjjns/s1600-h/hot2323264679_49ef609d3a.jpg
and more of his sexy pics here (scroll down halfway): http://dec22wemeetagain.blogspot.com/2009/12/picsinfo-links.html]
a few minutes later @my hotel room
i slowly wake up...i'm lying under the covers...the light at my table is turned on...toma sits beside me, he's put his shirt on, but it's not buttoned...
toma: (gently shaking me by the shoulder, worried~) [yr name]...daijoubu ka? don't scare me like that!!
i sit up...EHH!! i can't believe it....so embarassed...
me: daijoubu... (bites my lip) gomen ne...
toma: (gives me a hug) yokatta! (he lets me go, looks at me in with an annoyed expression) mou...why do you always faint at the most important moment...
me: ma...i couldn't help it... (really really embarassed and mad at myself...BA~KA!!)
toma: (smiles sweetly) no, it's not your fault. it's just not the right time yet ne....we can wait... ja...i'm the kinda person that messes up when it counts the most too...(laughs) (14.6)
me: (quietly) ano...what do we do now...
toma: (pouts cutely...thinking...then cheerfully~) now, we sleep! (smiles) that's what i wanted to do in the first place, but then you... (*blush* he looks at me longingly...and he quickly looks down and buttons up his shirt...)
me: (*blush*) mm...we should sleep now...it's late... (*doki doki*)
we put our clothes back on...we keep glancing at each other and then quickly looking away....that was....SO CLOSE~!! toma turns off the light and we get back into bed together....it feels awkward still...but we've both had some time to calm down....and when i look at toma and he smiles so sweetly at me....ahhh!!♥ i smile back at him...
toma pulls me closer...i curl up beside him and hug him, resting my head on his chest. he holds me gently and kisses me on my head...
toma: (quietly) oyasumi~.
me: (quietly) oyasumi~.
i close my eyes...ah...i feel so safe and warm....and i love the sound of toma softly breathing....
(sometime later...........)
i'm half-asleep...i've let go of him and turned to the other side...he's lying close to me, one arm around me...♥ but then his cell phone vibrates...he slowly, carefully lets go of me and turns off the alarm. and he quietly gets out of bed... he comes over to my side of the bed and looks at me for a moment... toma...i wish you could stay... and he gets his jacket and umbrella and leaves, opening and shutting the door so carefully and quietly...
toma....♥♥♥ even though we couldn't....because i....but still...!! so many amazing moments tonight.... i couldn't be happier (well, actually...!)... and i promise myself that the next time we're...together...i definitely won't faint!!
to be continued...
goodness....i can't believe i posted this up...*embarassed*!!!
(UWA!! JUST MADE IT IN TIME BE4 MIDNIGHT. whew!! too much time editing. lol.)
kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! (>///////////<) *dies* i really wrote a lot more for this part today...it was supposed to be short and sweet. it wasn't supposed to get that ero...but nanka!!!!! sumimasen! but i'm glad i did it. this was just so...ahhh!!!!!!♥♥ *screams with delight* toma and i.....i have no words... (>/////<) and toma's wink is so....sexy & cute!! xD 1 of my fav toma moments ever. and the pulling him towards me by the tie and kissing him...gah! i've always wanted to do this!! remember when maki was pulling on his tie in that hana kimi special photo shoot?? kyaa!!♥ http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4041/4434530612_232a331a06_o.jpg
this is the reason i didn't have us drink anything alcoholic earlier....though toma might~ already be kinda drunk f/all the celebrating earlier...but i want us to both be sober and be together because we want~ to, NOT cuz we're drunk. lol. and of course, so we can always REMEMBER~ what happened. (btw, toma says the more he drinks, the more energetic he gets. lol. but really, in my mind, toma's not drunk at all right now...cuz he knows he'll meet me later, he doesn't wanna be drunk when he's with me, right?? so he didn't drink that much earlier?)
and wow...i really love that 'I need you now' song!!!♥
yappari....couldn't go through with it at the last second...gomen!!
but it's always the ALMOST moments that are the best, right?? xD
it's late.
i'm going to sleep soon...
i hope i'll see toma in my dream tonight... ~_~
good night~!
sweet dreams.
kate deshita~~
hey~
this is kate. ^_~
kyaaaaaaaaaa!!! reread Part 10 a couple times. for editing purposes only, of course!! xD
edited/added some things...u might want to reread it. xD ah, euphemisms are wonderful~ i think, it was quite...beautifully written. ne~? xD somewhat? is it wrong that i'm proud of myself... xD
oh, i'm sorry to anyone who didn't want us to go that far...
or those of you that are too young!! sumimasen!! but it's still in the range of PG-13, right?? xD
ok ok, that's enough kyaa-ing!! lol.
time to get serious again.
PART 11.
it wasn't a dream...
and i was really there with him...
this is kate. ^_~
kyaaaaaaaaaa!!! reread Part 10 a couple times. for editing purposes only, of course!! xD
edited/added some things...u might want to reread it. xD ah, euphemisms are wonderful~ i think, it was quite...beautifully written. ne~? xD somewhat? is it wrong that i'm proud of myself... xD
oh, i'm sorry to anyone who didn't want us to go that far...
or those of you that are too young!! sumimasen!! but it's still in the range of PG-13, right?? xD
ok ok, that's enough kyaa-ing!! lol.
time to get serious again.
PART 11.
it wasn't a dream...
and i was really there with him...
5:30am @my hotel room
my cell phone next to my pillow is vibrating... i turn off the alarm. it's still dark...though we didn't really sleep until 2something this morning...but i just HAVE to check the news for reports about last night's ningen premiere!! and i don't feel tired at all....this is the power of toma love~! but i don't know when they'll talk about it...will just have to keep checking all the channels....
but then i suddenly remember what happened last night...toma and i... (>/////<) i hold my pillow to my face and *scream with delight*!!! i can't believe we really~ almost... but wait, did that~ really happen?? what if it was just a dream?!! NOOOO!!! but then, i touch the pillow next to mine...i know toma slept on it last night...because it smells of that sweet scent, his perfume....and i check this side of the bed...the same faint, sweet scent...♥ ahhh....i close my eyes and fall back down to the bed..... but really....we love each other so much. and it felt so right...it felt so...... *blush* ba~ka!!!! stop it!! i turn on the tv and quickly go to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face!!
...i come back and sit down on my bed, in front of the tv...*hyper* ^o^
5:55am @my hotel room
i walk over to the window. i pull back the curtain and look at the pretty, dark, blue-ish sky. i can still see some stars in the sky...ah...it's twilight now, but the sun will come up soon. and thank goodness, it's not raining today! though i see some dark clouds in the distance...but if the weather man's not wrong...it should be sunny and cold today. ~_~
i sit back down. EH!! they're talking about toma crying at the premiere!! they show a picture of him crying on the newspaper...and they show the clip of him crying at the premiere!!! tears well up in my eyes *cries*... seeing him so clearly...crying like this...!!! *sobs* and they show him after he's calmed down, talking a little bit more...looking embarassed at the end... toma...♥ ~_~ so adorable...
6:44am @my hotel room
more news about the premiere!! ah...it's so wonderful to be able to see what happened at the premiere last night...to experience these moments again....I WAS THERE. I WAS REALLY THERE WITH HIM! *__* and they show the part when toma breaks down and cries... i'm clutching my pillow...i cry again... I'M SO TRULY HAPPY FOR YOU, TOMA~. FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART~. hounto ni~. *sobs* the sky has become really bright and beautiful (just like toma's future!)... the sun will come up soon... i cry so much, it hurts......and i feel so tired now... i pull back the curtains... i'll go back to sleep for a while...
8:00am @my hotel room
my cell phone chimes, waking me up. ah! toma sent me a message. oh, it's a special Meiwaku mail that he's sending to me, too. [no idea what that is?? a special johnny's web mail for members only?? this is another REAL msg toma sent out that day!! so is the one that comes later today. =)]
he wrote:
Ikuta-Ningen Shikkaku-Toma desu.
meiwaku mail 20 February 2010
Good morning.
this is ikuta toma.
opening in theatres today, Ningen Shikkaku.
could it be that i woke you up with this email? sorry.
well, with that momentum, why don't you try going to the theatre? (laughs) invite your friends.
for people who haven't read any of dazai's works, and for people who love ningen shikkaku, [this movie] is a production where i feel confident you will surely feel something from it.
please do see the essence of japanese movies in the theatre!
i'm counting on you.
okay if i have anything else i'll mail again.
have a good day!
to be continued...
ah...*tears well up*
it's nice to see what happened at the premiere on the news, to relive those moments again.
gonna have to do some serious~ brainstorming for the next parts....hmm...
paige, remember your comment? about how i barely rested after the 2nd fanfic, be4 starting on this one. and how this 3rd fanfic will surely be another big project for me? (laughs) so true........ but i'm really happy with this fanfic....there are so many sweet and touching, and...unforgettable~, unexpected~ moments!! ....i guess i like it even more than my 2nd...! each time, it seems like toma is sweeter and cuter.♥
konbanwa~!
kate desu.
i got all hyper today cuz i suddenly thought up lots of good ideas for what happens after we watch the movie together. YEY. xD but that's later...... now, let's see what happens when we talk for the first time, after....what happened last night!! ehhhh...
ahhh...♥ though he's sending this mail to everyone, but it feels like he's talking to me, the part that he says he's sorry "i woke you up with this email"... cuz he knows i slept late last night and i'm probably not awake yet. ~_~
i send him a message:
your email did wake me up, but i was going to wake up around this time anyway. ^.^
gambatte for the ningen shikkaku promoting and the stage greetings!! i'll see you before the 13:35 stage greeting and then tonight at the movie theatre~.
[yr name]♥
i sit up in my bed and i rub my eyes...*yawn*... i had set the alarm for 8:30am, but i'll just get up now. but then my phone rings... i look at my phone's screen: toma♥!! that was fast!! but we haven't talked since last night...*doki doki* (phone keeps ringing) (remember, my ringtone is jay chou's A secret i can't tell, but u can think of it as being any song u like!!) feeling embarassed again....this might be awkward... (phone keeps ringing) ehhhhh....(remembers what we did last night...) *blush*!!! i finally answer the phone.
me: (shyly~) toma?
toma: (worried~) ehhh, what took you so long...
me: uh...gomen...i...i was in the bathroom.
toma: (not convinced) souka...
me: (trying to act natural) ohayozaimas! i just got your message~
toma: (cheerful) ohayo! hai~ shittemas. i just got your message, too.
me: sou deska...
toma: mm...
*AWKWARD SILENCE*
yappe....
(>/////<) the moments between us last night flash through my mind again. *DIES*
toma: (quietly) ano....about last night...
me: (i clutch toma's pillow...softly) mmn?♥ *nervous*
toma: (sincerely~) gomen!
me: (softly) eh?
toma: (quietly) i'm sorry...it was my fault...i shouldn't have...i should have known you're not ready...
me: (toma...♥ so sweet and sensitive...he's still worried about how i feel about what happened last night ne...gently~) iie. it's not your fault...i was just too nervous...
toma: (*nervous* quietly~) i was worried...that you might be mad at me...
me: baka~ why would i be mad at you. (purse my lips...seriously~) toma, i love you. and i don't regret what we did at all...(what i DO regret is not being able to go...all the way with him...!) i'm really happy...we could be together~ last night...
toma: (sweetly~, softly~) yokatta~.♥ ...i...i've been thinking about you all morning...
me: (*blush*!!! i know he must be blushing now too...softly~) atashi mou...
toma: (quietly~) i can't wait to see you later, before the stage greeting ne~
me: (quietly~) i want to see you too...i'll come really early so that we can surely see each other then!
toma: hai...but i'm really busy today, so i might not be able to call you again until tonight...
me: (smiles) daijoubu~
toma: ano...
me: nani?♥
toma: uh...bezuni...
me: eh?
toma: (whispers) chotto...[i think he's walking somewhere else...]
...sorry, someone walked by...but it's ok now, there's no one here...
me: oh...
toma: (seriously, quietly) i love you too~.
me: (ahhh!!♥ he rarely says it! softly~) toma...♥
toma: (gently~) i have to go now. ja ne~.
me: (softly~) ja ne...
i flip close my phone and lay it on the bed....i hug toma's pillow tightly and then cover my face with it, *screams with delight again*!!!!♥♥
1:20pm @in front of the Kadokawa Cinema in Shinjuku (14.7)
Yess!! not a lot of girls waiting here (maybe only 15 or so) and i came really really early, too, so i'm 1 of the closest to the theatre entrance. everyone's so hyper and excited. and cold. xD me too!!!
...kita!! they're here!! ^o^ i see toma, the director, and some other people walking towards the theatre. toma and some of the other people smile and wave at us. ~_~ we somehow manage to remain calm and don't scream or yell. just wave and smile at him and quietly say "toma-kun~" or "kyaa~" and "kakkoii", etc. xD
toma's wearing a nice black blazer, a small black string necklace, a red shirt with a wide collar, washed out jeans, and black shoes. and~ a lovely thin black scarf inside his blazer that shows a little below his jacket and floats~ along as he walks.♥ [this is what toma wore that day, really! these pics are probably from the 13:35 stage greeting!!!:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA9D8XXerBuhx2iRrrVMlwazavzw457qriPqv-TksP8lO88cUk124Dso68e_z1hsHHuE3mK1S3jI_ATiwvVdcxXylXj-xmi1vUDT_rkD_YqecWkWygkACTk2rHcbvi7ybJnGPeQoulwLDY/s1600-h/jpg209.jpg]
of course, toma sees me. and he smiles so cutely when our eyes meet...♥ (kyaa!!!) toma says something to the others...and they go in first. and he walks towards us!!! all of us so *HYPER* that he's coming over to say hi!! he smiles and waves as he approaches us. and now he's standing right in front of me (i'm standing near the center of this group)...*doki doki* we look at each other for a moment...♥
toma: (looks at everyone, smiles, and slightly bows, cheerfully) arigatou gozaimashita!! (he pouts cutely)
me: (quietly~) ka~waii!♥ (he's soooo cute and cheerful today. yappari!! and he doesn't look tired at all, though he didn't get much sleep last night...)
toma looks at me and laughs in that CUTE, kinda shy way of his~ (like this: http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/9/9/209169/thumbsupw81x.gif) ah, he totally heard me!! lol.
and he walks to the other end of the line of girls and lightly high five's or shakes hands with all the girls standing there, smiling at everyone as he does it...but when he reaches me...he looks at me a bit longer, smiles sweetly, and firmly holds and shakes my hand. *doki doki* toma's smile...toma's touch!!♥ and he quickly shakes hands or slaps hands with the rest of the girls left and...
toma: (bows slightly) thank you!! (he says it in english.^^)
he waves and smiles at us again. we wave and smile back! and he turns around and starts to walk towards the theatre entrance. but then he stops and turns around.
toma: (cutely) be careful, don't catch a cold ne! (and he looks at everyone and then directly at me~ and smiles.♥ and then he turns around and goes inside.)
KYAAAAA!!♥♥ he looked at me so many times, even when there's all these other girls here...he wasn't afraid they would notice that he was extra nice to me.... ~_~ URESHII!! but then, everyone here so HYPER, i guess they wouldn't notice something like that anyway?? heehee.
and all the girls and i gush over how cute and adorable he is!!! XD a lot of "SUGOI!" AND "KYAAA!" AND "he's so cute!!" and "he's so nice!!".^O^ and of course, "KAWAIIIII!!" AND "KAKKOIIIIII!!" AND "DAISUKI!!"♥
iya...i can't wait to see him later... ~_~ toma....he's so insanely hot and cute at the same time!! and he's mine, all mine!! xD i really must be the luckiest girl on earth!!! ah, luckily these girls don't know our secret, or they would surely beat me up!!! lol.
[by the way, this is toma's stage greetings schedule for feb. 19 and feb.20. and of course he's gotta go on tv shows and do other interviews too, but not sure of the timing of those. i assume it's in the daytime/afternoon and not at night though. but on feb.20, opening day...i'm sure there's other work stuff he's gotta do or maybe meet with some more friends or family to celebrate, so....that's why the not meeting me/us until 9pm for the movie. but this is good too...i/you can have time to go wherever u want... ~_~]
feb.19:
15:50*
17:35
18:50
feb.20:
10:15
13:00
13:35*
16:20
kate desu.
i got all hyper today cuz i suddenly thought up lots of good ideas for what happens after we watch the movie together. YEY. xD but that's later...... now, let's see what happens when we talk for the first time, after....what happened last night!! ehhhh...
ahhh...♥ though he's sending this mail to everyone, but it feels like he's talking to me, the part that he says he's sorry "i woke you up with this email"... cuz he knows i slept late last night and i'm probably not awake yet. ~_~
i send him a message:
your email did wake me up, but i was going to wake up around this time anyway. ^.^
gambatte for the ningen shikkaku promoting and the stage greetings!! i'll see you before the 13:35 stage greeting and then tonight at the movie theatre~.
[yr name]♥
i sit up in my bed and i rub my eyes...*yawn*... i had set the alarm for 8:30am, but i'll just get up now. but then my phone rings... i look at my phone's screen: toma♥!! that was fast!! but we haven't talked since last night...*doki doki* (phone keeps ringing) (remember, my ringtone is jay chou's A secret i can't tell, but u can think of it as being any song u like!!) feeling embarassed again....this might be awkward... (phone keeps ringing) ehhhhh....(remembers what we did last night...) *blush*!!! i finally answer the phone.
me: (shyly~) toma?
toma: (worried~) ehhh, what took you so long...
me: uh...gomen...i...i was in the bathroom.
toma: (not convinced) souka...
me: (trying to act natural) ohayozaimas! i just got your message~
toma: (cheerful) ohayo! hai~ shittemas. i just got your message, too.
me: sou deska...
toma: mm...
*AWKWARD SILENCE*
yappe....
(>/////<) the moments between us last night flash through my mind again. *DIES*
toma: (quietly) ano....about last night...
me: (i clutch toma's pillow...softly) mmn?♥ *nervous*
toma: (sincerely~) gomen!
me: (softly) eh?
toma: (quietly) i'm sorry...it was my fault...i shouldn't have...i should have known you're not ready...
me: (toma...♥ so sweet and sensitive...he's still worried about how i feel about what happened last night ne...gently~) iie. it's not your fault...i was just too nervous...
toma: (*nervous* quietly~) i was worried...that you might be mad at me...
me: baka~ why would i be mad at you. (purse my lips...seriously~) toma, i love you. and i don't regret what we did at all...(what i DO regret is not being able to go...all the way with him...!) i'm really happy...we could be together~ last night...
toma: (sweetly~, softly~) yokatta~.♥ ...i...i've been thinking about you all morning...
me: (*blush*!!! i know he must be blushing now too...softly~) atashi mou...
toma: (quietly~) i can't wait to see you later, before the stage greeting ne~
me: (quietly~) i want to see you too...i'll come really early so that we can surely see each other then!
toma: hai...but i'm really busy today, so i might not be able to call you again until tonight...
me: (smiles) daijoubu~
toma: ano...
me: nani?♥
toma: uh...bezuni...
me: eh?
toma: (whispers) chotto...[i think he's walking somewhere else...]
...sorry, someone walked by...but it's ok now, there's no one here...
me: oh...
toma: (seriously, quietly) i love you too~.
me: (ahhh!!♥ he rarely says it! softly~) toma...♥
toma: (gently~) i have to go now. ja ne~.
me: (softly~) ja ne...
i flip close my phone and lay it on the bed....i hug toma's pillow tightly and then cover my face with it, *screams with delight again*!!!!♥♥
1:20pm @in front of the Kadokawa Cinema in Shinjuku (14.7)
Yess!! not a lot of girls waiting here (maybe only 15 or so) and i came really really early, too, so i'm 1 of the closest to the theatre entrance. everyone's so hyper and excited. and cold. xD me too!!!
...kita!! they're here!! ^o^ i see toma, the director, and some other people walking towards the theatre. toma and some of the other people smile and wave at us. ~_~ we somehow manage to remain calm and don't scream or yell. just wave and smile at him and quietly say "toma-kun~" or "kyaa~" and "kakkoii", etc. xD
toma's wearing a nice black blazer, a small black string necklace, a red shirt with a wide collar, washed out jeans, and black shoes. and~ a lovely thin black scarf inside his blazer that shows a little below his jacket and floats~ along as he walks.♥ [this is what toma wore that day, really! these pics are probably from the 13:35 stage greeting!!!:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA9D8XXerBuhx2iRrrVMlwazavzw457qriPqv-TksP8lO88cUk124Dso68e_z1hsHHuE3mK1S3jI_ATiwvVdcxXylXj-xmi1vUDT_rkD_YqecWkWygkACTk2rHcbvi7ybJnGPeQoulwLDY/s1600-h/jpg209.jpg]
of course, toma sees me. and he smiles so cutely when our eyes meet...♥ (kyaa!!!) toma says something to the others...and they go in first. and he walks towards us!!! all of us so *HYPER* that he's coming over to say hi!! he smiles and waves as he approaches us. and now he's standing right in front of me (i'm standing near the center of this group)...*doki doki* we look at each other for a moment...♥
toma: (looks at everyone, smiles, and slightly bows, cheerfully) arigatou gozaimashita!! (he pouts cutely)
me: (quietly~) ka~waii!♥ (he's soooo cute and cheerful today. yappari!! and he doesn't look tired at all, though he didn't get much sleep last night...)
toma looks at me and laughs in that CUTE, kinda shy way of his~ (like this: http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/9/9/209169/thumbsupw81x.gif) ah, he totally heard me!! lol.
and he walks to the other end of the line of girls and lightly high five's or shakes hands with all the girls standing there, smiling at everyone as he does it...but when he reaches me...he looks at me a bit longer, smiles sweetly, and firmly holds and shakes my hand. *doki doki* toma's smile...toma's touch!!♥ and he quickly shakes hands or slaps hands with the rest of the girls left and...
toma: (bows slightly) thank you!! (he says it in english.^^)
he waves and smiles at us again. we wave and smile back! and he turns around and starts to walk towards the theatre entrance. but then he stops and turns around.
toma: (cutely) be careful, don't catch a cold ne! (and he looks at everyone and then directly at me~ and smiles.♥ and then he turns around and goes inside.)
KYAAAAA!!♥♥ he looked at me so many times, even when there's all these other girls here...he wasn't afraid they would notice that he was extra nice to me.... ~_~ URESHII!! but then, everyone here so HYPER, i guess they wouldn't notice something like that anyway?? heehee.
and all the girls and i gush over how cute and adorable he is!!! XD a lot of "SUGOI!" AND "KYAAA!" AND "he's so cute!!" and "he's so nice!!".^O^ and of course, "KAWAIIIII!!" AND "KAKKOIIIIII!!" AND "DAISUKI!!"♥
iya...i can't wait to see him later... ~_~ toma....he's so insanely hot and cute at the same time!! and he's mine, all mine!! xD i really must be the luckiest girl on earth!!! ah, luckily these girls don't know our secret, or they would surely beat me up!!! lol.
[by the way, this is toma's stage greetings schedule for feb. 19 and feb.20. and of course he's gotta go on tv shows and do other interviews too, but not sure of the timing of those. i assume it's in the daytime/afternoon and not at night though. but on feb.20, opening day...i'm sure there's other work stuff he's gotta do or maybe meet with some more friends or family to celebrate, so....that's why the not meeting me/us until 9pm for the movie. but this is good too...i/you can have time to go wherever u want... ~_~]
feb.19:
15:50*
17:35
18:50
feb.20:
10:15
13:00
13:35*
16:20
to be continued...
ah...that phone call was sweet!! and i just thought it up today. lol. and i think most of u know...the 13:35 stage greeting was the one that careline went to and saw toma there... i thought about having toma mention careline later in the story, but then, since careline is also reading this fanfic, that would be weird for her...so, no.... haha. i wish i could of done more with this stage greeting part, but that's all i've got...hmm...
well then~
ah...that phone call was sweet!! and i just thought it up today. lol. and i think most of u know...the 13:35 stage greeting was the one that careline went to and saw toma there... i thought about having toma mention careline later in the story, but then, since careline is also reading this fanfic, that would be weird for her...so, no.... haha. i wish i could of done more with this stage greeting part, but that's all i've got...hmm...
well then~
hi there! it's almost over, but,
happy st. patricks day! ^^
so, this is part 13.
getting closer to watching the movie together...
douzo~!
Thanks to toma love~ and coffee (kohii) power~, i'm full of energy!! i'm going to go to all the different places i've been wanting to go to and buy a lot of cute things and eat a lot of yummy food...YEY!! ^o^ and i'm going to see toma everywhere i go...(his RED ningen posters, him on magazines, etc.!!).♥
[SO~ THIS IS...FREE TIME!! LOL. DO WHAT YOU WANT... if it was kate, she'd definitely try to go around the city, and take pictures of the toma ningen posters all over the place...at the train station, on buildings, at the movie theatre, at the bookstore....
[see pics of toma's red ningen poster and other ningen things all over tokyo here at careline's report!! and also, ningen/toma things she bought~~ SO MANY PICS!! SUGOI!! ^o^ http://careline18.livejournal.com/149355.html and http://careline18.livejournal.com/150129.html]
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmE-wDUToWx-BIs6m2frwu5qKWTDp6E9-33EkTrc-QbzcHlLDPg0KLP8f4PiHtT0VARcnt-ku8gYBwDAZEpUWgXiNzwZv0hRVVVZzmg5T5uylTUcrG-KIuqRiuWxrAvfIzAtTKFBizZDPO/s1600-h/poster+of+NINGEN!!+s320x240.jpg
[the poster @a theatre?]
http://musicjapanplus.jp/articles/?action=article_page&articles_id=1846&article_data_id=2505&page=6 [huge poster on a building in shibuya!]
and of course, go to Johnny's Family Club (here's a quick look at the place! sugoi... youtube.com/watch?v=seooeFdFL7U&feature=related.) (14.8) go to some idol shops in harajuku to buy toma stuff...wander around shibuya and harajuku, checking out all the cool shops and buying some nice clothes...eating some nice food... and maybe visit some toma fans i know there... [i don't know any1 in japan right now, but i'm hoping i will...at least i kinda know jamie-chan, though. http://hinoai.livejournal.com/. but as far as i know, she's not a toma fan. she does think jun is hottt, though. lol.]
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4PEIEAIO3V0_moNAayr7y5SVXn5LSfMiLbRDeAMUJJPhn0hr_r97d6OI0YzpoTZP3hihGFhbF9X0BgXr-dTn5QgvJkzpDcmszG-_Gz86-l71dIsibj392BQBFTfKnl3be8HI2t_zdx8n1/s1600-h/Sbookstore+sq19h0.jpg
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2801/4397661612_41af14d596_o.png
[toma, and a lady, next to the toma-fied dazai books display. *_*]
sometime later that evening...
@a bookstore, at the dazai books display
i'm trying to decide which toma cover i like best, when my phone chimes. toma?? ^.^ i quickly get my phone out. ohhh. it's just nino-kun. i forgot to read his email from yesterday... he emailed me again. and he says:
[oh, earlier, i said he's from the usa, but if u live in the usa, think of him as living in the UK. anyway, whatever country u live in, he should live in a country far from it...and he writes his emails in english. but we talked to each other in japanese on the train.]
hi, [yr name]!
i forgot to give you the links to my twitter and facebook pages.
[link]
[link]
and here's a picture of me that i just took today. hi from [the usa or the UK]!!
i miss japan. i had a lot of fun there. are you having a good time? you must be there with your boyfriend? it must be a romantic trip...i'm really envious!
take care!
Ryosuke
[attached is a cute pic of him, smiling, standing on a crowded street,
somewhere in new york city, USA, or london, england]
oh, ryosuke-kun [or whatever name u like. doesn't matter. =)].
i like that name. ^_^ even before Voice (toma's character in that drama was Ryosuke).
hmm...i check out his twitter page. his profile... ehh!! he's 7 yrs younger than me!! [or 7 yrs older, if you're really young]. i totally couldn't tell...i thought we were the same age. lol. if i had met him before i met toma, maybe i would like him...though i usually don't like guys that are that younger [or older] than me....but now, i just think it's kinda cool to have a japanese guy friend. another person i can talk to about japan stuff or ask about japanese culture or ask for help with the language [i'm not totally fluent in speaking/reading/writing japanese]. he's cute, but really....cuz of the age difference, i think he might be more like a brother-like friend. i definitely don't like him in a romantic way. and besides, we live so far apart. (ok, i know toma and i live far apart, yet we're together now, but with TOMA, it's totally different!! i've already been his fan a long time before we met, and....it's TOMA!!! how can ryosuke compare to him!!)
i check the first email he sent me...it's long! i skim through it...he's happy to get my email. hopes we can keep in touch. talked about himself...how old he is, what he's doing in [the usa or england], his hobbies...and he asks me about all these things, too. eh! so long. i'll read it later and reply to his emails later. i put away my phone. finally, i choose the book where the cover is the pic of toma wearing that white shirt and looking upwards in a melancholy way. kakkoii!! [the one on the bottom left side, in this pic of all 10 covers:
and my friend did not email me yet today... ah! i've been thinking about what happened~ (well, almost happened! xD) last night and so hyper about watching ningen tonight...i forgot to tell toma my BIG NEWS!!! but then...i'm not certain about it yet....i think i need a little more time to think it over. but i really doubt i'll change my mind...actually, it would be better if i told him tomorrow ne. he needs news like this to cheer him up then, since i'm leaving tomorrow evening.
i'm about to go pay for my book, when my phone chimes again. not ryosuke again! *annoyed* i get my phone and flip it open. oh, it's a message from toma!!♥ ah~ his entry for Toma's Room today (Vol. 331):
I completed the first day's greeting the audience.
everyone, really, thank you very much!
i'm happy that we were able to meet the opening day without incident.
this day was one that for me,
will be a memory for a lifetime.
i hope that it is the same [for] everyone....
please treat the movie ningen shikkaku well.
and i send him this message:
yokatta. ~_~
i will always remember that on 2010 february 20, toma's first movie was released.
i can't wait to watch it. really~
[yr name]♥
ah, i'm so happy for you, toma! *tears well up* i'll never forget this day, too. because on this day, your first movie was released, and also because on this day...it was almost our...first time.♥
5 minutes later @just outside the entrance of the bookstore
GAH!!
IT SNOWED!! there's a very thin blanket of snow on the streets, on the trees, everything is a little white....sugoi!! it was raining a little bit earlier, before i went in the bookstore (i was in there a long time...), and really cold, but i didn't think it would snow!! i've never seen this much snow in the city before... [this is true for me, but if u live somewhere where it snows a lot every year, please bear with me and just pretend....haha.]
while going to some more places, hoping i'll be outside when it's actually snowing, but since i'm indoors mostly, i keep missing it...
8:18pm @on the train
today was a really awesome~ day!! and now i'm heading to the theatre to meet toma, to watch ningen shikkaku at 9pm. *hyper* i'll be there soon!! *__* my phone vibrates. *excited* it's toma♥.
[i'm whispering cuz i'm on the train...]
me: youzou-kun, konbanwa~!
[of course u know, toma's character in ningen is called oba youzou. ^^]
toma: (laughs cutely) konbanwa~! (sweetly) ja, i'm waiting for you~. near the theatre entrance. i'm wearing a hat and glasses.
me: (smiles) hai, i'll be there soon!
toma: (cutely) ok, bye bye~
me: (sweetly~) bye bye!♥
i'm getting so anxious!!!! a little nervous too!!!!
but it's a good kind of nervous...^^
i look outside the window...it's lightly snowing! ii ne~.
to be continued...
ah, it's snowing....*_*
ah, ryosuke-kun. haha. nino-lookalike. i actually was not gonna mention him in my story again. lol. i did in my first draft (just a normal email), but then i cut it out. but since some of u were wondering about him.... it's good to know a little more about him right? and see that i definitely don't like him that way. he'll be almost like a younger brother kinda person. xD
ah, u know what! i filled up the entire notebook (same size as the one from my 2nd fanfic)!! but partly cuz i had so many rewrites this time. lol. so i had to start writing on sheets of paper for the newest additions to the story. and my notebook is a mess. xD so many notes scribbled in it when editing...i get confused these days, when i look at it, to type up the story. haha.
until next time~
kate♥
doumo!
kate des.
part 14!!!!
and so we watched a movie together~♥
(sorry, i gave u the wrong link earlier. this is the correct link.
youtube.com/watch?v=9sY9U-te7CQ of a step by step video clip that shows u how to go to johnny's family club!)
kate des.
part 14!!!!
and so we watched a movie together~♥
(sorry, i gave u the wrong link earlier. this is the correct link.
youtube.com/watch?v=9sY9U-te7CQ of a step by step video clip that shows u how to go to johnny's family club!)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sekihan/2401179921/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/prolix611/3823227216/
[misc. posters outside entrance of a movie theatre in japan]
8:30pm @near the entrance of a movie theatre in minato
(ehhh...by the time i get off the train, it had stopped snowing!! -__-)
it's a small, low-key theatre. but it's a little crowded here. i'm walking towards the entrance. i easily spot toma. ~_~ but he hasn't seen me. he is rubbing his hands together, trying to warm himself up, and looking around...he looks a little nervous. afraid someone will recognize him. haha. but he does look really different (but still cute!!), with his hat and glasses on...
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl_B5-AS1hafra7-DfzwO4lOZ530NZkzXPhFQtcSbdwRWhs3gRMXwd214Ai3m6c8EnoOp9tk_JAH89h7bt2ZObzHLwZL9xdzACaK8iBrtaq1dVQIGpBDDHwEVOeAGw0N9wmc0T7bIQpzeT/s1600-h/mySunshineBoy.PNG he's wearing something like this. a thick black, hooded jacket. plaid shirt inside (i'm thinking of a nice red plaid shirt though, and a white t-shirt with some kinda nice design/text on it. actually, i'm thinking of something like what yuma's wearing here, the black sneakers too. but with darker washed blue jeans that are kinda ripped in some places. kyaaaa. http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4071/4347151341_b5082109df_o.png)
--he's also got his shoulder bag with him.
--his hat looks something like this:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAUMfUOSNJsOu1JaKjccI2PDe1AKInqXOEyEYEyFogLl89j9KQQqd4NH_ZOyzZxwGpiVLfP260gf09MrmsK51m75utOfmqnBW3leBiuIqg5BKvtkSr0mvHtVQ1dFs0Ehk7l2wx7L1Ez0Y/s1600-h/ahh!.PNG
--toma wearing glasses...remember how cute he looks when he wears glasses!! *_*
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyerE9Mby_pbVXuOfW6RkV82hMG_XHvzfRqDYNo7YRPB-J2ARqzieen1qn4OzMKLFasmxMbr-1giIJbXWzpGbR1K2f3SO_3j8sdgH9lBt5qK9w4AgUNPg_RkRjv-QLJl-4SAKmEGHMhKWB/s1600-h/toma@hokkaidoGLASSES.PNG [newest glasses pic!]
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7tx28iAOMTbUXI6UkmIbAySs2-UTzhzD_PWKXUcnN-chncMkpvIt7VbrP0R_jMEIm5-skZUYdQaz234VwzBv2YrFz7D34y5SzF6NojjKGhMh9kq14CcACpM08yMyeKgRLfCBHLUWATKT_/s1600-h/glasses...tomaFASHION.PNG
http://i272.photobucket.com/albums/jj165/bleahzzz/mag%20scans/TFS0805MyojoScanlationP1.jpg
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4064/4428761494_09823099c1_o.jpg
[kyaa!! old paparazzi pics of toma with glasses]
but when toma sees me coming, he quickly leans on the railing, with a cool look on his face, one hand casually holding the other...like this pose. KYAAA!! :
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzkA3xSkjiIsBm24FWGMb4lPkWG00IBqK_huYe0XLji7Bp8uc79LTi_p9AETXthvhYEFlV9Js6oK7XuGyR0JeJ0hBK8MlHtir_lhs2jiYR9YL7ppiImmAIYu8MINXJzxKakxxP-ZKWTog/s1600-h/pt9.PNG
toma! lol! he's totally pretending to be cool. (14.9) but still, kyaaaaaaa!! kakkoii.♥ i run over to him and lightly tap him on the shoulder. he turns around.
me: (smile) doumo! iya...kakkoii neeee!
toma: (smiles and pouts cutely) ah, you're right on time!
me: of course! (bite my lip, sweetly~) i didn't want my husband~ to have to wait ne.♥ (i playfully pull down the bill of his hat a little)
toma: (fixes his hat, nodding, and smiles sweetly at me) ah, sou deska?
me: (i nod) mm!♥
toma: (lightly touches my arm, smiling) come on...let's go inside.
me: hai~!
there's a BIG toma ningen poster outside the theatre. and a lot more red posters inside...toma only sometimes glances shyly at the toma on the posters...~_~ kawaii ne!♥
http://www.flickr.com/photos/minami/4140338853/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/shungo-a-lie/3165934987/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/logbook_japan/575519222/
[theatre lobbies in japan]
http://www.flickr.com/photos/smaku/3042973648/
[empty, dark, red seats in a theatre]
8:37pm @inside the theatre
the theatre's already almost full, though it's early. ^_^ we are able to sit towards the back...of course, there's many young girls here!! but it's kinda dark in the theatre and so many people here...no one notices toma. not even when he takes off his hat. i look at him...
[we're whispering the whole time we're in the theatre, of course. toma's quiet voice is love~!♥]
toma: cuz i don't want to have hat hair later. (laughs)
me: (smile) your hair looks fine! (i lightly ruffle his soft hair~) (his hair looks niceeee, of course. like this: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHogxlHDD20FDnPUA55sz8qUSiImeIZeDP7B-unfTEKGQ_-2hWmrpgZfPD2rSY1DDYrOCs_beRZEIUtILWrmqchkZjvu93PLSrM0XLNqHZFjNhlOkTjqHw_dXkCHYPduuoDFdwbaIU7xpN/s1600-h/DUETmarchPreview+GAHHHH.jpg)
toma: (smiles, fixing his hair. he looks at me sweetly~) your hair looks nice, too~
me: (*blush*) arigatou~ (i touch my hair, fix it a little...)
ah....this is so exciting!!!! *hyper* and i carefully take out my ningen shikkaku photobook (i still keep it in the plastic wrapping. lol.), from my shoulder bag. i stare at toma's picture on the cover again...i get out a black pen and i turn to toma.
me: toma, could you sign my book for me? (smiles)
toma: (smiles) hai~. (he takes the book and pen, but pauses...thinking...) but you can't look at what i wrote until after the movie, ok?
me: nande?
toma: (seriously) just promise me...it's important to me.
me: hai... (eh? why is he being so secretive...)
toma asks me to turn away as he writes, so i do...after a few minutes...
toma: done! (i turn around. he smiles cutely and carefully puts both the book and pen back in my bag.)
me: arigatou ne~! (i wonder what he wrote??)
soon, the lights dim...and it's dark...the movie previews start....i'm getting really excited....i've waited so long for this....and a while later...
finally...
at last.....
this is why i'm here in tokyo with toma....
the moment i've been waiting for.....
toma's first movie.
his first lead role in a movie, too.
ningen shikkaku.
no longer human.
the fallen angel.
the theater is dark. and it's completely silent for a moment....
and then that logo appears...
toma: (turns to me, purses his lips, quietly~) please do tell me honestly, what you think about the movie afterwards ne. (he gently holds my hand)
me: (i nod, smiling) definitely!
we look at each other...toma smiles and holds my hand tighter, and then lets go. and we look at the screen. and the movie starts...
2hrs, 14 minutes later @inside the theatre
the credits are rolling. everyone is clapping!! of course, toma and i are too!! toma is touched...he's a little teary-eyed... and then...the clapping dies down...people start to leave...
ah~ this movie is....so amazing!! it's so beautiful and sad...it's tragic, yet somehow inspiring. and toma is just...brilliant!! so beautiful, but so miserable. so desperately lonely, he makes all the wrong decisions...
sometimes, i would glance at toma while we were watching the movie....and i can't believe that person on the screen and him are the same person!! and he mostly had a serious look on his face the whole time...he was so absorbed into the movie...
but...yappari, it's hard for me to watch those scenes...that he has with those women...!! i don't want to watch, but then i couldn't look away either!! so i watched those parts with my hand covering my face...just saw it through the space between my fingers. lol. and toma just stares at the floor during those scenes...embarassed. ARRGGGH!! SO JEALOUS!! those women!! how dare you do those things~ with toma!!! (>_<) of course i know it's all pretend. but still!! but really, this is such a good movie....and not just cuz toma's in it. though the plot is sad, with youzou's degrading life, using women and drugs to try to forget his problems, but... this movie...it really did make me feel sorry for youzou...i would not say that i like or support him, but...i understand why he did what he did... i think i'll try reading the book now, actually... but when i see everything that youzou goes through in this movie...!! seeing him hurt, seeing him sad, lonely, and wanting to die...it's really heartbreaking!! sometimes, i forget that the real toma is fine and sitting right beside me. he's not really youzou! and he's wearing glasses. on the screen, he is not. that helps me remember... and he's right next to me. sometimes, i held on to his arm, to remind me the real toma is ok. he's not crying or hurt or losing his mind or anything... and toma would gently pat my arm, as if to say, "daijoubu desu..." and it's during those really sad moments...i just start crying...and i realize anew how important toma is to me...i...i don't know what i'd do if anything bad happened to him in real life!! it's too terrible to even think about....and i remember how devastated i was at the end of Maou. *cries* (and i really mean it when i thought, if toma wins any awards for Ningen Shikkaku, i will think of part of it as being for Maou, too. cuz he never won an award for his role as naoto. but he really should have!!!) people are still leaving the theatre...it's still dark. and i'm crying hard now... because this movie is so sad. and because i'm so proud of toma. and i'm so happy for him. and because i'm so happy that he's my boyfriend. because...because...of everything that's happened these past few days...i'm so happy...but i'm so sad that i'll have to leave soon...all these feelings and memories rushing through my heart and mind... i cover my face with one hand, bent over...crying my eyes out...toma pats me on the back...(as he's been doing all along, whenever i cried. and at times, he'd gently put one arm around me, pulling me close...trying to calm me down...) toma: (gently) daijoubu? (hands me a tissue) ne, don't cry anymore... me: hai...(*sobs* i dab at my eyes with the tissue, trying to stop...)
to be continued...
"and it's during those really sad moments...i just start crying...and i realize anew how important toma is to me..." ehh. tears welled up when i wrote this part. *cries* everything i wrote after this sentence is completely true. nanka....i've made myself cry a lot when writing this fanfic!! i really didn't expect to though. i'm really not the kinda person that easily cries (unlike our toma~).
(if u ever wanna make me cry, just play the Maou soundtrack. it gets me everytime!! especially Grace. i'll just break down crying, no matter where i am. *sob* i'm listening to it now, actually.)
iya...it's nice to pretend that i've been able to watch ningen, especially with toma right next to me!! i hope that after i watch ningen shikkaku for real, these same feelings, that i'm only imagining now, will come back to me~~ i really want to feel this way about the movie after i watch it. that's my wish.
see u tomorrow.
kate deshita.
P.S.
guess what! i was able to buy the ningen shikkaku book today!! the 1st time toma's on a book cover.♥ ah~ i was so surprised and happy when i saw it at the bookstore in mitsuwa!!! after so many months, and they still have one copy left (though i'm not sure when exactly, they got these books). nanka~ i felt as if this book has been waiting for me a long time. ~_~ i'll post up some pics of the book tomorrow! of course, also a recap of how i found it. xD look forward to kate's hyper-ness tomorrow @TL!! xD
hi hi! this is kate. ~_~
today makes it the 2 week mark!
and it's been exactly 1 month since ningen's opening day neeeee. it already feels nostalgic~~
so, let's see what happens after the movie.
ehh...we bump into someone i like in the lobby!! xD
today makes it the 2 week mark!
and it's been exactly 1 month since ningen's opening day neeeee. it already feels nostalgic~~
so, let's see what happens after the movie.
ehh...we bump into someone i like in the lobby!! xD
i look at toma...there's so many things i want to tell him....but right now, i can only think of this...i give him a quick hug and let him go...
me: i really like this movie, toma! hounto ni! *cries* arigatou... *sobs* arigatou...(i dab at my eyes with the tissue)
toma: (touched, tears in his eyes) yokatta...
me: you were amazing. you really are an extraordinary actor, toma! *cries*
toma: (trying not to cry) arigatou~ hounto ni. i'm so happy to hear you say that...
i try to stop crying...but the tears keep streaming down my face. the lights come on...only us left in the empty theater. toma carefully reaches in my bag and gets the ningen photobook out.
toma: (gently) please stop crying~ (lightly touches my shoulder) kore, look what i wrote for you...
me: (wiping away my tears) hai... (i flip it open to the last white page. i saw toma open it to that page earlier... the page with the credits/staff info. toma wrote:
[yr name],
for buying this book, arigatou! it holds many precious memories for me. my very first movie... after watching ningen shikkaku, you can always look at these pictures anytime and remember what a wonderful movie it was. i will do that too~
you are probably crying right now. please stop, or you will get this book wet! (laughs)
(signed)
生田斗真
me: (i stop crying and smile at him) toma... (laughs, dabbing at my eyes) mm. (nods) i won't get it wet ne! (i really try to stop crying...)
toma: soshitte... (he turns the page, to that last black page. tucked into the book, between that black page and the cover is a small, folded white piece of paper.)
me: (softly) eh? (i take it out, unfold it. toma wrote a short message to me...)
he wrote:
about those scenes...i'm sorry.
please don't be mad.
toma
toma...~_~ so that's why he didn't want me to look at the book before...
me: (awww... all my jealous feelings melt away...i smile and look at him...) toma...i'm not mad at you. (ok, i guess i was, a little bit!) i understand... (looks down, wiping away my tears) i did get upset...(i look back up at him, sweetly). but i'm fine now. really, you don't have to worry about it. (ahhh, he's so considerate!!♥ hounto ni!)
toma: (he smiles, but then looks down, embarassed, nervously scratching behind his ear) hounto gomenasai...
me: (i shake my head, smiling.) iie. (i put away the ningen photobook.)
toma: (looks around at the empty theater and then at me) ja, we should go now.
me: (rubbing my eyes) hai...
11:39pm @in an empty hallway of the movie theater
i come out of the restroom...i'm glad my eyes are not that red after all that crying...and i see toma standing there, waiting for me. it's late and there's barely anyone around, so toma didn't put his hat back on. i really like how he looks in glasses!!♥ and....kyaa!!! he's standing there, staring off into space, casually leaning to one side, like this, with his hands in his pockets: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrYUJKhzfzt6fkViqXvEUHVWYGBBfryjAgZDm09XghLEG29LSBCP3WFDyEb7IFt57Vyv-MtdYwcMbg5bB4iyI6-sP8ULlRGXrcfKM7SH2MKK7SqDF2uF104jdW4bmHDX8ffTvkM5eBmck/s1600-h/pose+%2818%29.jpg
i walk over to him. he smiles when he sees me coming. ~_~
toma: (cheerful) ready? iko ga?
me: hai~!
we're walking towards the exit, when a young guy comes up to toma...!!
it's...nakayama yuma!!♥
sugoi!!! (i have a little crush on him...xD)
[if u don't like yuma, just imagine it's any cute guy that has been in the same drama/stageplay,etc. as toma, who you kinda/really like. haha. it should be someone that toma doesn't know very~ well though, or not, they would really be really curious who you are and might tell toma's other friends about you. lol. that's no good. maybe someone like yamamoto yusuke (kayashima in hana kimi), for example, would be fine... ^^ it would be perfect it it was Johnny’s Jr., Hashimoto Ryosuke, though. he LOVES toma. haha. he's the one who said he wished he had a "cousin or something" as cool as toma. lol. for more info about this, go to #15 in my explanations post!]
[yuma is a cute johnnys boy (16 yrs old) who is pretty popular right now. i talked about him and chinen in my post here xD: http://ikutatomalove.blogspot.com/2009/08/2-johnnys-jrs-that-i-likenakayama-and.html. and here's a cute MV a fan made about yuma, with clips from behind the scenes of some MV filming: youtube.com/watch?v=-7Z5Ywk87uk&feature=related. ~_~ kawaii ne!!
[cute pics of yuma that i got from my magazines. heehee.:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDSZ8Aco5kbK2S08pD-Jv5TMsfE92pCxd5BhYh5lTHD9YIdM4eevVgrNIVHyWsZpgylcApSLtQ0v3vcLXqnKtl8uye77Loq3bXbXX8h5U2i5V7rVSwcZ2xurA1zG4j_o3TMM0heZjHEigA/s1600-h/yuma.PNG]
yuma: ikuta toma desu ka?
toma: uh...hai~ (smiles)
yuma: (smiles, *hyper*) sugoi! nakayama yuma des.
toma: hai, shittemas. (laughs)
yuma: kakkoii desu ne! toma-kun, your movie is really really good!
toma: (nods, modestly) ah...arigatou gozaimas!
yuma: gambatte kudasai!
toma: hai, gambarimashou! (pouts cutely)
yuma smiles and then notices me standing next to toma. he looks at me curiously... kyaaa! kawaii!! ~_~
me: (nervously) uh...konnichiwa, [yr name] des. (i look at him...and i look at toma...and back at him...uh oh...can he tell that i'm toma's girlfriend?? i blurt out--) kanojo janai desu!
baka!!!! [of course, i'm not denying i'm his girlf cuz i like yuma and want him to know i'm single. lol. it's not like that! just too nervous and don't want anyone to know we're dating.]
yuma and toma both look at me, surprised...!
toma: (laughs) mail tomadachi des. (smiles) she's a fan of yours ne.
yuma: (politely shakes my hand, smiling) arigatou gozaimas! yoroshiku onegaishimas!
me: (nods, *blush*) gambatte kudasai! yuma: (he nods. he turns to toma.) dewa, matta...(he smiles at both of us and turns to leave)
AHHH!! *__*
SUGOI....HOUNTO NI!!
i look at him as he walks away...toma waves his hand in front of my eyes.
toma: (annoyed) that's enough! (he looks closely at my face...*jealous*) are you blushing?? mou, i thought i was the only one who could make you blush...
me: (i look at toma) gomen! no...i blushed cuz i was embarassed, cuz i said that~. that's all...
toma: (laughs) wakatta. (he tsukkomis me~) baka~ (lightly slaps me on the arm) why did you say that to him! he can tell we're not just friends, the way you acted!
[enshinge's explanation of tsukkomi and boke: "a tsukkomi is the comeback in comedy - there're two main roles when you're talking about comedy in japan, the boke, and the tsukkomi. the boke is always the "stupid" one, the boke makes the jokes, does the silly things, and tsukkomi is the "smart" one, who rectifies the silly mistake the boke made, who tells the boke to stop acting silly~
boke and tsukkomi are used both as nouns and verbs, and when you tsukkomi someone, it's often accompanied by a light slap ;)"]
me: (embarassed, *blush*) i'm really sorry! next time, i'll be more careful!
toma: (purses his lips) daijoubu. i know you didn't mean to...
he looks around the hallway...we're all alone... he looks intently at me, and comes closer to me...♥ *doki doki*
me: (softly) nani? *blush* (what if someone sees us like this?? what is he trying to do??)
i back up...he keeps coming closer. i...back into the wall and bump my head. iteh! i rub the back of my head. toma laughs and lightly pats my head...
toma: gomen ne! daijoubu?
me: (i nod) nani ga? why did you...
toma: (leans in close and whispers) i just wanted to say...you look really cute when you're blushing ne... dakara...i'll get jealous if you blush for another guy...
me: (quietly) souka... (*blush* even more!! but really, i wasn't blushing because of yuma. it was cuz i messed up and said that to him!! toma...you're the only one who can really~ make me blush~ because i'm all doki doki...not cuz i'm embarassed.)
toma: (looks at me smiling, softly~) ka~waii!♥
toma...♥ he's still standing so close to me...i thought he was going to...push me against the wall, grab my hands so i couldn't resist, and kiss me passionately!! kyaaaaaaaa!! it's totally unlike him to do that, kedo...
toma: (smiles and backs up) come on, let's take a picture together! (he takes out his cellphone) because it's our first time watching a movie together, and it's my first movie, too...
me: (smiles) iyo.
toma puts one arm around me and takes a picture of us. it might look something like his pic w/kaori in majosai. remember? haha. like this:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmqWhxQclLdXKDGwjl50V9zldc-Fsq266FR-XzT57MMszCHDOIFuz4kkMCvLtnaqo7qIY57NIvqvL_K9QYs0EObpCcaWyJJWgVPplpS1xoy3CnmMSaq7WF0CUWar_OdxJHmW5CRoOFZeE/s1600-h/%5BTFS%5D+Majo+Saiban+Ep+06.avi_000443876.jpg.
toma: (smiles at me) ikuzo~.
me: (smiles) hai!
11:44pm @just outside the movie theater
ah~!
it's snowing gently!!
it must have been snowing for a long time this time, cuz there's a kinda thick layer of snow on the ground...
me:(softly) yuki... kire... (i hold out my hand to feel the soft, cold, snowflakes on the palm of my hand...)
toma: (annoyed) eh? more snow? mou...
me: (quietly) ureshii~ (toma glances at me, curious. i look at him and explain...) kono wa hajimatte... (16)
[i mean, it's the first time i am outside, in the city, while it's snowing...in the snow. something like that. cuz it was snowing earlier today, but i was indoors, right?]
toma: (smiles sweetly~) souka...
and so we both stand there for a moment, watching the snow gently falling down...
to be continued....
in the 1st draft of my story, the watching the movie together part was kinda boring, so i thought i should have some kinda guest star in my story, to make things a little more interesting. lol. i really do have a little crush on yuma. it's embarassing, i'm a lot older than him...but he is really so cute!! lol. and he looks a lot older than his age sometimes. in fact, i saw a pic of him in a magazine yesterday @mitsuwa. ah~! kakkoii!! with the tie too. i took a pic of it. xD this one.also in the 1st draft, toma and i are only able to spend time together late at night once, the late night of the premiere night. but cuz the ningen premiere and opening day were different days (duh, i should have known that! lol.), so this means another late night together. kyaaaaaa! xD i'm gonna try hard to write all the....flirting, ETC. between us on saturday (tomorrow) though. last couple times, i seem to keep writing the most...*HOT* moments on sunday. and it made me feel SO GUILTY...i mean, i have to go to church on sunday!!
ja ne~
kate♥
[GOMEN! I'VE ALREADY FIXED IT SO MANY TIMES, BUT THE PART THAT STARTS WITH "but...yappari, it's hard for me to watch those scenes...that he has with those women...!!" KEEPS GETTING ALL STUCK TOGETHER LIKE THAT. i hope u can still read it ok...]
hi hi! kate desu.
so, this is part 16.
i'm nervous and sad about this fanfic ending soon....'the finish line is in sight'.
but it's been really fun, and sweet, and happy, and touching, and hot~, and everything....~_~ i really love this fanfic.♥
but now...let's play in the snow for a little while, toma~ ♥
--snowing at night video clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bKgPaQpq7E#
[clips f/a travel show in tohoku... and THAT outdoors onsen, with the snow around them....!! i was thinking of something like that for my fantasy from my 2nd fanfic. xD]
--i imagine the park looks something like this...with snow falling gently~~
http://www.flickr.com/photos/laffy4k/72156692/
11:49pm @a park near the theaterwe decided to take a short walk in the park to enjoy the falling snow a little while longer...and toma pulled up his hood and mine too, before we leave the theatre. ~_~ all the while that we walked to the park, we talk about the movie... and now we're walking in the empty park...it's nice and quiet...
i keep staring at toma...he's just so amazingly talented....he is...the FIRST of any Johnnys guy to be successful in dramas and stageplays, in acting, who has not debuted, who has no CDs. that's just...too amazing. he is THAT talented and likable.....[thanks to Enshinge for this info. i linked to it in the info post already. some of the following are exact quotes, what toma said about his role in the interview en translated or tfs subbed...but i can't remember which is which. sorry! but i think i mostly summarized what he said...also, more of what he said f/jounetsu tairiku (his documentary show)] and he worked really hard, he's been through a lot to get to where he is today...BUT HE DID IT!! ^o^ and now he's finally a movie star...and now, a lot more people realize how special and talented and hard-working ikuta toma is....there's really no one like him.
toma: (notices me staring at him, quietly~) nani?
me: (smiles) mm...i'm just so proud of you...
toma: (purses his lips and nods. modestly~) ah, arigatou~.
me: your first time in a movie, and it's a lead role...such a difficult role, too! a very...infamous character that most people probably don't like...
toma: (thoughtfully~) hai...it's a risky role, but i wanted to challenge myself. i'm really glad i got the chance to take on a role completely new to me. with this movie, i can show everyone a new side to ikuta toma...
me: (nodding) sou des. and i'm glad for this movie, they show youzou in a better light...i really do feel sorry for him... in this movie...he really seems more...human. he's someone that the audience can sympathize with and actually care about...
toma: mm...youzou is not as bad as you think... he's actually a very straightforward, sincere person. he's a lonely, pitiful person ne...and in this movie, you realize...that it's the women and the world around him that is distorted, not him....
me: ahh...sou sou... i did get that feeling, of "a sane man in an insane world"... ja...he is such a fragile soul. and i keep thinking...
how can someone so beautiful feel so strange and unwanted...and have such a shameful, tragic life. and i wonder...how much dazai must have had in common with youzou, that eventually made him suicide.
toma: hai. it's really regrettable... sa...
me: (looks down, quietly) but it's really amazing...you really became youzou...you scared me a little...how...completely different you were...
toma: (looks at me) really? nanka...i guess i did... (proudly) demo, i'm glad i was able to properly represent oba youzou in this movie. hounto ni...
me: yokkata... iya, it's like you have a split personality, but in a good way! xD and that other toma, actor toma...can become whatever character you wish, leaving the normal toma still happy and lovable during filming breaks... (toma looks at me funny, as if to say "ba-ka!"...i laugh) gomen. it's something i just thought of, right now...
toma: (laughs) if only it was that simple ne...
me: (i stop walking. toma stops too. i look at him and smile. sincerely~) toma...bravo!! *claps* this is...an incredible accomplishment. i knew you could do it!! i'm so proud of you!! i'm just so proud of you...
toma: (he smiles and looks down modestly, touched~) arigatou... (seriously~) but really...i'm not as amazing as you think... i'm not a great actor, i just concentrate really hard when i'm acting. and it's really hard on me sometimes...kowai. that's how i truly feel... but i'd like to keep trying. i want to be a perfect actor... and i would be so happy~ if i can become someone that my kouhai's can look up to, if i can give them hope. let them know that there's not only one path that you have to take...you can make your own path... (17)
me: (toma...♥ i look at him lovingly... softly~) i'm sure many kouhai's like you and look up to you, toma! it must be...your destiny~ to create a new path for yourself as well as your kouhais... (17) and...i don't mind if you're not the perfect actor. because you're already the perfect boyfriend. i mean it. (i gently hold his hand)
toma: (he's touched/embarassed, quietly~) eh...sou deska? (smiles sweetly at me~)
me: and i know why they picked you...not only because you're so handsome...
toma: (shyly smiles and looks down, shaking his head, quietly~) ya ya ya...
me: (i smile, sweetly~) ...but also because you're completely angelic~~ hounto ni! youzo is the fallen angel, after all. (i let go of his hand and playfully make a circular motion over his head) ja, i can almost see your halo! ~_~
[the definition and synonyms of 'angelic'...DOES THIS NOT PERFECTLY DESCRIBE TOMA??!!! ~______~ having a sweet nature befitting an angel. pure, beautiful, lovely, entrancing (attractive), adorable.]
toma: (he laughs, like this: http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/9/8/209169/0003de0y.gif, embarassed~) iya... boku wa tenshi janai~
i smile at him...i knew you would say that, toma. and i notice...it's stopped snowing. i pull down my hood, and toma does too...we fix our hair...while smoothing my hair, i look at the white snow...ah, speaking of angels...i lie down in the snow.
toma: eh?
me: toma, lie down next to me. (i sit up and lightly tug at his jacket sleeve)
toma: (curious~) hai... (he lies down next to me)
me: (looking at him, smiling) because you're the fallen angel...let's make some snow angels! (laughs) (i wave my arms and legs up and down...)
toma: (laughs) ah, it's fun to make snow angels, ne! (waves his arms and legs up and down, too)
and then...we lie there...just looking at each other for a moment...♥ ah...i could lie here next to you all night, toma..........
but then a gust of cold air blows...something gets stuck on toma's glasses...he takes it off and takes a tissue out of his pocket to clean it...he's still facing towards me...
i keep looking at him...ah...even in this faint light...he is so radiant...so beautiful. toma, please "give me a minute to concentrate, and really appreciate your beauty." (lee hom's Kiss Goodbye song)
me: (softly) toma...
toma: (looks at me) mmn?
i just look at him and smile....and toma smiles sweetly back at me.♥ ah! toma is~ an angel. he's my angel~. so beautiful and perfect. so sweet and caring. so lovely in every way. what more can i ask for?? he is...everything~ to me. and i realize....i really can't live without him. *tears well up* and he's the only one...i'll love him for the rest of my life!! kitto~.
and with that, i've made my decision. i'm completely sure. i will not regret it. my life is about to change. and it's all because of toma. but...i can't tell him until tomorrow.
me: (sit up and look away, wiping away a few tears...so happy~, quietly~) uh...nandemonai.
to be continued...
ahh...toma. he's my angel~~
beautiful and perfect.
"hit me like a ray of sun,
burning through my darkest night.
you're the only one that i want.
think i'm addicted to your light."
(beyonce's Halo)
sorry if it seemed like a little too much of praising toma. (laughs) but i felt it was necessary to talk a little more about ningen and how toma feels about it...
ah, i have almost run out of notes (on paper)...!! sugoi...a while back, it felt like i'd never get through all of them.
i dreamt about toma last night!♥ i can't remember it, only know he was with me... ah...that loved~ and happy~ feeling i get when i dream of toma is unmistakable! i felt it strongly when i woke up in the middle of the night...
ARGGHH!! i've run out of time again. i'm gonna have to write the hotel room night scene on sunday (tomorrow) again. another romantic bedroom scene on a sunday. exactly 1 week after that *hot* bed scene. oh, the forbidden pleasure... (>//////<) (ok, it's not really forbidden. i just remembered hearing this phrase somewhere and wanted to use it. lol.) sumimasen!!
part 17!!
(eh!! somehow, i lost track of time and am 12 minutes late. damn it..... didn't make the midnight deadline for the first time. ma...just a little late. oh well...xD)
oh, i just remembered, paige. that lying in the snow part...also inspired by savage garden's Truly Madly Deeply song. ~_~ "i want to lay like this forever, until the sky falls down on me." and i also want to stand with him on a mountain...bathe with him in the sea.♥
and now, more playing in the snow. heehee~
(eh!! somehow, i lost track of time and am 12 minutes late. damn it..... didn't make the midnight deadline for the first time. ma...just a little late. oh well...xD)
oh, i just remembered, paige. that lying in the snow part...also inspired by savage garden's Truly Madly Deeply song. ~_~ "i want to lay like this forever, until the sky falls down on me." and i also want to stand with him on a mountain...bathe with him in the sea.♥
and now, more playing in the snow. heehee~
toma puts his glasses back on and turns to casually lie on his back, pulling up 1 leg, hands folded behind his head...kinda like this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomacollection17/2848945448/).
toma: (looking up at the sky, quietly~) if you're crying because of it, it can't be nothing...
me: (i look down at him...*tears in my eyes*) eh?
toma: (looks at me and smiles) if you're crying because you're happy, then that's ok... (seriously~) but you know...you can always tell me anything... i don't want you to feel like there are some things you have to keep from me...
me: (toma...♥ i really want to tell you...but not now. softly~) i know. demo, this time...i can't tell you yet...gomen...
toma sits up and looks at me...wipes away a tear rolling down my cheek... (his hand is so cold, though!)
toma: (gently) daijoubu. just don't cry anymore, ne.
me: (i nod) mm... (stops crying)
toma stands up and smiles, holding his hands out, offering to pull me up. ~_~ i smile and hold on to his hands...he swiftly pulls me up, but he pulls me...really~ close to him...*doki doki* we could be kissing, we're that close!! we look at each other...♥
toma: (looks at me lovingly...softly) you know...you're my angel, right?
me: (*blush*!! he's so sweet!!!♥ i nod...) mm...
toma smiles and lightly ruffles my hair...and we look down at our pretty snow angels before we keep walking...
toma: (rubs his hands together) iya.... so cold!!
me: why don't you put your gloves on?
toma: i forgot to bring them ne. (sticks his hands in his jeans pockets)
me: here~ you can use mine. (i take off my black gloves)
toma: (shakes his head) no, then your hands will be cold.
me: i don't want you to be cold. your hand felt icy, just now! take it. (i hand him the gloves)
toma: (pouts cutely) ja, why don't we share it then. (he takes my hand, and carefully puts the left hand glove on for me.)
ah...i always get this sweet, warm feeling when he puts something on for me.♥ and he puts the right hand glove on.
toma: kinda like michael, ne! (laughs) [i think everyone knows this, right? michael jackson had a habit of wearing only one white glove on his right hand. and toma (and lots of other johnnys boys) is a BIG fan of MJ.]
me: hai! (laughs)
toma looks around....no one else here, still. he smiles and holds my right hand with his left.
toma: (purses his lips~) to keep our hands warm ne~
me: (ahhh~ ♥ i nodd.) mm~
we walk hand in hand...and soon we walk by some REALLY CUTE LITTLE SNOWMEN!! like these: http://www.flickr.com/photos/terss/2276917910/. i let go of toma's hand and immediately rush over to the snowmen. xD i kneel down, looking closely at them.
me: kawaii ne!! ~_~
toma: (comes over, kneels down next to me, cheerful~) ah, kawaii! (looks at me) maybe we should try to make our own snowmen ne!
me: (smiles) hai!
like excited little kids, we kneel down at a nice, smooth patch of snow nearby and start to make our snowmen. ^_^ and i find out...they're not as easy to make as you'd think! lol. especially when the snow is still quite light and fluffy...but it's still fun...haha. i don't really care if mine is kinda small and looks a little weird. lol.
i stick two small twigs in for the arms. done~ ^.^ i look over at toma. he's done too. we look at each other's snowmen. lol. both look kinda funny, but mine looks weirder.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bluegreycat/3159766700/
[mine and toma's snowmen probably look kinda like this, but with no face, even...haha. mine looks like the one on the left!]
toma: (looks at my snowman) what happened?! (laughs)
me: (annoyed) yours doesn't look that great either!
toma: i know, kedo... yours looks...(bursts out laughing xD, kinda like this: http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/9/9/209169/aiba-tomaLOL.gif) he's a snowman shikkaku!! [snowman failure]
me: chigao! (toma, how dare you make fun of my snowman! xD) yamerou! that's pretty good, considering it's my first try! (i lightly push him on the shoulder)
toma: gomen! (still laughing)
that's it....i didn't want to do this, but, maybe this will get him to stop. fu fu fu... as toma's still looking at our snowmen, i go off to the side and pack some snow...i was going to just throw the snowball near him to surprise him, but...eh, i actually hit him in the back!!
toma: eh! (turns around)
me: (guilty~) gomen! i wasn't aiming for you, i just wanted to throw it past you!!
toma: (dramatically~) you know what we have to do now, right?? (smiles, hyper) snowball fight!! (he quickly packs some snow...)
me: EHH?? (i look at my watch...it's quite late...but i guess a small match would be ok!! lol.) (*hyper*) you're on!!
toma: don't think i'll let you win just because you're a girl! (laughs) i officially challenge you to a snowball fight! there are no rules! except, not in the face! (laughs)
he throws a snowball at me, but misses. we quickly try to make a bunch of snowballs...throw them at each other...make more...try to avoid being hit... laughing as we try to see who hits the other person more... xD and the snow is not that dense, so we have trouble forming any really good snowballs. but cuz of that, it doesn't hurt at all to be hit by one. lol...
......and the snow is lightly falling again...it would be really romantic, if not for us trying like crazy to hit each other with snowballs. xD and of course, after a while, toma is winning...but he's careful not to aim for my face. me too...but i keep missing him...arrggh!! i start to not be careful in aiming and just throw a lot at him. haha!
aiya!! i accidentally hit him in the face....luckily it just hit his glasses, mostly...toma wipes away the snow from his face...
toma: iteh!
i rush over, helping him brush away the cold snow from his face and glasses...
me: daijoubu? gomen!! hounto ni! i didn't mean it...
but then...toma looks intently at me...his gaze...!♥ *melts* ah, my heart is already beating fast and my cheeks flushed cuz of the snowball fight...and i can't tell if toma's blushing or it's cuz of all this running around...toma quickly pulls me behind a tree, so that we're hidden from view...*doki doki*!!! he lightly touches my face...*blush* and he gently hugs me... (like that hug in the hanamizuki trailer!) i hug him back...
toma: (softly~) the winner [of the snowball fight] gets a hug...
me: (softly~) oh...
toma: (softly~) and...a kiss.
me: (softly~) eh~
toma: (lets go, but holds me lightly by the shoulders, cutely~) but i'm saving that for later. (smiles sweetly)
me: (quietly) souka... (*blush* later...in my room...♥)
toma: (looks at his watch) ah, we'd better go now. (sweetly) okuri yo~.
me: hai~.
we make our way out of the park...the snow falling a little more than before...ah...so romantic!! ~_~ and toma's holding my hand again.♥ it'll be hard for me to let go of his hand later...
to be continued....
whew, i didn't get to the hotel room part yet today. i'm glad i didn't have to write it today, sunday. ah...making snowmen and a snowball fight!!! sweet!!! and fun!!! ah, maybe this winter i really will try going somewhere to see it snowing and play in the snow.... ^o^
that's all for today.
tomorrow we'll be....*blush*
we'll be back at the hotel room... our last night together!!! ehh.....what will happen....
lol. i'm honestly not sure at this point!! we'll see....
and i wonder what you~ want to happen??? hmm...
kate deshita~
good night, everyone!
i hope you see toma in your dream tonight~.♥
hi hi!
this is kate.
and tonight is part 18.
which means it's day 18 of me posting up this fanfic.
2nd time i've missed the midnight deadline. geez. gomen ne.
even now, i'm not sure what i want to happen in this room tonight...i have some ideas...but. i might change my mind. i probably will. i'm really having some serious doubts...hmm... *conflicted*!! but that's for part 19. part 18 is good too, though. ~_~
so we're back at the hotel room. yey.♥
toma, will you stay...
[off-topic, but i'm adding this link to the long list of toma gestures/hair list. A TON OF AWESOME HAIRSTYLES TOMA'S HAD!! KYAAA!! lots of pics i gathered!
http://ikutatomalove.blogspot.com/2009/05/toma-looks-awesome-with-almost-any.html]
this is kate.
and tonight is part 18.
which means it's day 18 of me posting up this fanfic.
2nd time i've missed the midnight deadline. geez. gomen ne.
even now, i'm not sure what i want to happen in this room tonight...i have some ideas...but. i might change my mind. i probably will. i'm really having some serious doubts...hmm... *conflicted*!! but that's for part 19. part 18 is good too, though. ~_~
so we're back at the hotel room. yey.♥
toma, will you stay...
[off-topic, but i'm adding this link to the long list of toma gestures/hair list. A TON OF AWESOME HAIRSTYLES TOMA'S HAD!! KYAAA!! lots of pics i gathered!
http://ikutatomalove.blogspot.com/2009/05/toma-looks-awesome-with-almost-any.html]
we're on the way back to the Granbell Hotel...on a taxi.
cuz we missed the last train for the night, dakara...
toma: ja...i still have some ningen shikkaku-related work stuff to do tomorrow...so i can't see you until around 2...
me: (distracted) ah...wakarimashita.
i stare out the window...it's still snowing. @_@ i'm so nervous!! ...this will be...our last night together. i'm not sure when i can see him again after this trip. should i...ask him to stay with me a little while tonight?? but what if...we.... *blush*
and i glance at toma...he has a serious/thoughtful expression on his face as he looks out the window... ahh...kakkoii!!!!!♥ i can't help wanting him....
12:53am @my hotel room
*nervous*!!! as we walk down the hallway, my heart starts to beat faster...and now we've reached the door to my room. and i open the door...we step inside...i close the door. *doki doki*
toma: (surprised) ehhh?? how comes it's freezing in here?
me: oh...something must be wrong with the thermostat...(i quickly adjust the thermostat).
i'm too embarassed to say that i was so hot~ when thinking about us last night...this morning, so i had to keep the room cold, to cool me off!! LOL.
toma: (reluctantly~) ano...it's late. i should go...i still have to wake up early tomorrow.
me: (quietly~) sou. (try to cheer up, smiling) i'll see you tomorrow!
toma: (purses his lips, nods) mm.
i look down...*sigh* work is more important. i can't expect him to stay with me just cuz it's my last night here... i can't be so selfish. i fidget with the strap of my shoulder bag...it's heavy, my bag...because i've got my ningen photobook, camera, wallet, etc. in there....oh, i remember something...can't believe i almost forgot!!
me: (quietly) actually, toma...
toma: nani~?
me: could u just stay for a little while...i just want to take some pictures with you. (smiles)
though we took a lot of cute pics together at the purikura (photo sticker booths) back in december, we haven't taken any real pictures together. i mean, where we're close or hugging or anything.^^
toma: (smiles) iyo! but if we'll be taking pictures together, let me put on my contacts first. (laughs) chotto...
toma takes off his jacket and goes in the bathroom with his shoulder bag. i take off my jacket, too. and i get my camera out. ah...it will be nice to finally have pictures of us as a couple...looking at these pics when i get back to [yr country] will cheer me up...i get out my compact mirror to check if i look ok...i fix my hair a little...straighten my shirt... i'm also wearing red. *_* our outfits kinda match. sugoi!
toma comes out. ah, without his glasses, he's back to his full handsome glory!! (18) kawaii!!♥ he smiles at me. ahhh~
me: (*nervous*) umm...i guess we should sit on the bed, and i'll just set the camera here on the table and use the self-timer.
toma: ok~
we sit down next to each other. we take some pics of us smiling, pouting cutely, making chu~ faces, making V signs. haha... but then, i really want pics of us...
me: (quietly~) ano...toma, could you...put your arm around me...i'd like to have some pictures of us...
toma: (smiles sweetly at me) wakkata~. (he puts one arm around me, pulling me a little closer...♥)
and for the next picture...i hug toma...he hugs me back. ~_~ i become more relaxed...and we pose in some cute ways....leaning on each other's backs, i lean my head on his shoulder...kiss his cheek... and each time we take a picture, i go check to see if it looks ok...
me: (looking at the picture on the camera) ahhh, kawaii... toma gets up and looks at the picture too.
toma: ii neeee. remember to send me all these pics!
me: of course~!
ah, but there's one more picture i wanna take with him...i saved it for last...*doki doki*
me: (*blush*) toma...for this last picture...can we...
toma: (notices me blushing furiously...he thinks for a moment...and he smiles) hai...of course...you still owe me a kiss ne~ (*winks*)
me: (kyaaa~ *doki doki* i nod...) mm... (i go set the timer and come back to the bed with him)
toma looks at me sweetly...leans over...and kisses me gently. and he lightly holds me by the waist...ahhhh. the first time we've kissed since last night.♥ and the camera clicks. and toma pulls away.
eh...that's it? just a short kiss. i'm...a little disappointed. but i guess he really doesn't want to linger in my room too long...afraid of repeating what happened last night...
toma: (smiles and gives me a quick hug) i should really go now... ja, oyasumi...
me: (quietly) oyasumi...
i walk toma to the door...toma puts his shoes back on...puts his jacket on...*sigh* he's really leaving...?
suddenly i hear a low, rumbling sound...
the ground starts shaking a little!!
me and toma: EARTHQUAKE!! (the shaking is getting stronger)
me: (freaking out, i grab toma's arm) what do we do??
toma: uh...hide under the table!!
of course! i totally forgot xD...toma quickly pulls the chair aside and we huddle together underneath the table. i cling to toma so tightly!
me: kowai!! (i shut my eyes tight and keep clinging to him)
toma: (tries to calm me down...hugs me tight) daijoubu! it'll be over soon...
and after a minute or so of strong shaking...the room is still swinging~ back and forth a little...and finally....it stops. but i'm still shaking...toma pats me on the back. that was scary!! i'm guessing....at least a 6.0!!
toma: (quietly) it's ok. we're safe. it's over...
me: (nodd) mm...(still clinging to him)
toma: daijoubu?
me: hai...
toma: (he pulls away from me and looks at me...) you're really pale! calm down...it's ok...(he hugs me again and gently strokes my back. ah...i feel better...)
toma lets me go and looks at me again. i try to smile at him...
me: (softly) i'm ok...
we get out from under the table...i accidentally bump my head.
me: iteh! (i rub my head...)
toma: be careful! (he looks worried...)
me: (trying to act ok~) i'm fine, really. (i look at my watch) it's late, and i'm sure you want to go home and see if your family is ok...go ahead. (toma gets his phone out of his bag...)
toma looks torn...he looks at me, then down at his phone in his hand, and thinks for a moment. i sit down on the bed. baka, so clumsy! and then toma's phone rings...[the ringtone is...i have no idea. lol. maybe a recent Arashi or NEWS song.] he answers it right away.
toma: ryuusei? ...hai, daijoubu. ...souka. yokatta! ...uh...i'm at a friend's house... (he sits down next to me, on the bed. he lightly rubs my head with one hand... ~_~) hai... (and toma looks at me sweetly...) no, i'm going to stay here tonight...
me: (ehh!! ~_~) (quietly) toma...♥ you don't have to... (toma cutely pouts and gestures for me to be quiet, 1 finger to his lips, like this: http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4057/4456077123_1a684fabb1_o.jpg)
toma: mm...right... i'll be back in the morning... hai... ja ne. (he ends the call and puts his phone down on the bed, smiling at me) they're ok, and now they know i'm fine, too.
me: thank goodness! (hesitant~) demo, ii no ka...
toma: (looks at me and smiles, firmly~, quietly~) i want to stay here with you tonight~.
me: (toma!!♥ i give him a big hug~) arigatou! i'm still so scared...
toma: (pats me on the back) i know... (he lightly touches my head) does it still hurt?
me: just a little...
toma: (pulls away and holds me by the shoulders, gently scolding~) baka~ you have to be more careful!
me: (looking down, embarassed~) hai...
toma: (gently touches my cheek, quietly~) i was afraid of staying here too long tonight...i'm afraid we might...*blush* i didn't want you to feel pressured... (smiles) but i'm really glad i can stay with you after all~.
me: (softly) wakkata... (ah, yappari. ~_~ toma's so sweet and gentle with me...)
toma: i know you need me here with you tonight, so i'll stay. but i'll be good, don't worry. (he smiles and purses/pouts his lips. kawaii!!♥ like this: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3dGf2BZJU32zVHI1YJ1mUw2sK5fXBnfi4JJ5XWy1AHhto_ki66jzio0VUM-rNPfl9lXnu5HPNqoBBxL-pEypDwbzhfjfNtxL1FyaBJQYicxGdL0g_8HFR43uVgTLl6htEQhR31vF9WMYA/s1600-h/hanamura+cuuuuuuute.PNG)
me: (i look at him sweetly and smile) toma...arigatou!♥ (ah...toma. such a caring boyfriend... such a gentleman, too. *_* but toma...i like it when you're a...bad boy, too. kyaaa... *thinks of junpei hotness*)
[some pics of toma as bad boy junpei. HOT!! *faints*http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2699/4456077103_030688822a_o.png
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkOV3rcTTAOt6a7MK5mhUMuqIDGxLwtqlWLGfGVQywE5olaSbjWGaGiqlcoJxaOgGc86vMkM79akfx0rvDImfwJQ427PdnNSi_-pRaZrGLKrBynqky2mgMKYlJkcxwaQYX9KF3xoAGpQM/s400/toma+junpei.bmp]
to be continued...
toma's self-control is refreshing. xD i, on the other hand, don't seem to have much self-control, at least when it comes to how i act around toma. when we're really~ alone. lol.
ehhh....that's all i've got so far. i thought i'd be able to write more, kedo...xD but i think tomorrow is definitely gonna be....more interesting... xD
the earthquake!! unexpected, right?? (sorry, is it a little unappropriate? i hope none of you have any bad earthquake memories or know ppl hurt or worse in an earthquake...) there was an earthquake recently, in the middle of the night, here. i didn't even feel it, but neesan woke me up and said there was an earthquake. ever since that big one in chile and hearing about all these other earthquakes, especially that one in central japan.....has made me a little worried about a big earthquake happening here...but thanks to that minor earthquake which i slept through (i'm a very deep sleeper. xD)... i thought of how an earthquake could keep toma with me the whole night...lol!! arigatou gozaimashita! xD
(p.s. don't worry, i read somewhere in the news that earthquakes occur all the time all over the world, just that we're just hearing more about them these days cuz it's like...a trend and so they're reporting on them more. it's not like we're getting an abnormally high amount of earthquakes and the world is ending soon. ...OR IS IT?? LOL. i really don't think it is, but everyone, go to church (or the mosque or the temple...whatever is yr religion) more and pray more. either way, it'll be good for you. xD)
doumo!
kate dayo. ~_~
and so~ the first time
we're spending the whole night
together......
ahhhhh.... *doki doki*
kate dayo. ~_~
and so~ the first time
we're spending the whole night
together......
ahhhhh.... *doki doki*
toma leans over and kisses me on the cheek. ~_~ and he lightly pats my head and smiles~. he puts his phone in his pocket and goes to take off his shoes and jacket.
i look at my watch. 1:16am. i don't think i can sleep yet, still feeling so tense and scared...and since toma's here!! i feel like i can stay up all night talking to him. but of course, he's still got to wake up and leave early tomorrow. i look at the table. ah! luckily it wasn't shaking enough to drop my camera on the floor. i go over and pick up the camera....look at that last picture where we're kissing....kyaaaa!! it really does look so perfect....*__*
toma comes up behind me and looks at the pic too...
toma: (cutely~) do you like it? or do you want to do it over...
me: (glance at him, *blush*) no, it's fine! (...idiot! u could have said no and kissed him again!! xD)
toma: (he smiles, but then rubs his eyes, *tired*) what do you want to do now?
me: mm...i can't sleep yet... maybe we can watch a little tv? but if you're sleepy...
toma: (cutely pouts) it's ok. i'm not that tired. (he turns on the tv and goes over to the bed and sits down.)
me: (smiles) i'll be right back. i just want to check if any of my things were knocked over in the bathroom... (toma nods)
i go in the bathroom...ah, just a few things were knocked over. i pick them up and put them back where they were supposed to be...and i feel safe knowing toma will be here with me all night. but...i look at myself in the mirror for a moment. though toma's determined to not let that~ happen tonight...i...i wonder if i feel the same way...i love him so much...i think i want us to take that next step...i don't want to wait. but...i can't just tell him that...i just can't!! *blush* i splash some water on my face and try to push these thoughts from my mind...i won't try to make anything happen...but if things get intense, i won't try to stop it either...i should just leave everything up to fate, tonight...
i go back out...EHH!!
*faints*
toma is lying on the bed, in that cute and sexy, "at your service~" pose, like this (the pic on the top, he's in a white tee and vest. KYAAAAAAA!! http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2742/4114521764_e2ec8f9d03_o.png)
toma: what took you so long? i've been waiting~ for you...(and he looks at me...in such a way...!! GAH!!)
me: (*melts*, softly~) eh?
(ah...i just want~ him!!)
toma: (quickly sits up, bursts out laughing) gomen! i couldn't help it...(laughs some more) it's like what they say in the movies, right?
me: (i bite my lip...he's soooo hot... *blush* i try to hide how i'm really feeling~) toma, don't tease me like this!! (i get on the bed and grab my pillow, hitting him a couple times with it. xD)
toma: (trying to dodge the pillow) i said sorry! yamerou! (laughs) i was just trying to make you forget about the earthquake...
i stop hitting him and sit down next to him, on the edge of the bed.
me: (still a little mad~) mou, just don't do that again... (toma nods)
toma: (smiling cutely) what do you want to watch?
me: mm...it doesn't matter, i just want to stay up a little longer, with you~
toma: (smiles at me~) ok, then i'll pick. he turns to a random channel. anime.
me: oh, they also air this one back in [the country u live in]! i watch it sometimes. ah, it's nicer to watch it in japanese. the dubbed version just doesn't seem right...
toma: (turns to me and has a serious look on his face, quietly) you're leaving tomorrow night, right?
me: (oh...i shouldn't have mentioned [that country]. i nod) hai...
toma: (sadly) when will you come back to visit me...
me: (quietly) wakaranai...
toma: (looks down...upset... quietly~) souka... okurimas.
me: you really have time to take me to the airport, toma? it's ok if you're busy...
toma: (looks at me, firmly~) no, i'll take you to the airport... i want to see you off properly this time. (and he looks down...quietly) it seems so fast. i can't believe you already have to go tomorrow...
me: (toma...i'll miss you too...don't be sad...i lightly touch his shoulder...gently~) but...i'll really try to come and visit you soon! hounto ni...
toma: (tries to smile...) i know...
we both look down at the floor for a moment...ah, maybe i should tell him now?? no...i really should wait until tomorrow! i'm sorry toma...but it'll be better if i tell you tomorrow.
and we watch the anime for a little while. but it's one of those depressing, dark anime's. so toma changes the channel to a funny variety show. haha. after a while, we forget about me leaving tomorrow and just enjoy watching tv together...
ah, even if i could just watch tv with him each night, i'd already be so happy...i lean my head on toma's shoulder...toma looks down at me and smiles sweetly~.♥
to be continued...
sorry, i am having a little trouble with this part, so only a short update today....i can't believe it...finally get toma all to myself for a whole night, but i can't think of what we should do. lol. gambarimas!!
family problems got me stressed out yesterday. felt like i deserved to do something to make me feel better, so. LOL. well, cuz of where my fanfic's at now, i remembered that HOT fanfic salome wrote. xD so i reread that one and read some of her other fanfics too. GAHH!!! it's all tomapi yaoi...!! hot!! (>_<) and i read some other ones...they're mostly short fantasies about him + another guy. good grief...i never thought i'd be into yaoi, but i guess it's just cuz it's so intense (and about toma). i've also come across some yaoi manga @book-off (by accident!!) gah!! @_@ they practically just...attack each other!! but i can see why it's popular with women. lol. salome's are just so....!! (>////<) geez, my little bed scenes in this fanfic are NOTHING compared to these fanfics!! but some of them are rated nc-17 or R. you have been warned!! it's funny how i don't even think it's weird that the hottest fanfics about toma are toma + another guy. xD
http://salome620.livejournal.com/12174.html
[this post links to all of salome's short fanfics...most very short but all so....!!!] (EDIT: salome wrote some touching/hot multi-chapter tomapi fanfics too! they are also linked here.)
http://masakis-blush.livejournal.com/2961.html#cutid1
[a very dirty one, about toma and jun. but i couldn't stop reading!! ack!! (>_<) also, link to all of masaki_blush's fanfics. junma = jun and toma. http://masakis-blush.livejournal.com/11444.html#cutid1]
whew....i'm not gonna read anymore though. (ok, maybe just salome's, if she writes more. xD) but...seriously, i always feel like in love stories, it's the almost moments and the flirting that are the best parts....but when u get to the actual act of sex...it's like the end of the romancing and the mystery...and just so....final. and....everything will go downhill from there. lol. that's just how i feel. that's why i just can't cross that line, in this fanfic....i can't! i won't!!
ok, time to go to bed.
good night, everyone!!
hey~!
kate here.
this is part 20.
douzo~! (sorry, posting so late this time!)
seems like part 20 is another important part in my fanfic,
just like part 10 was. sugoi... ~_~
more sweet (and sexy?!) moments between us!!
get ready~ xD
kate here.
this is part 20.
douzo~! (sorry, posting so late this time!)
seems like part 20 is another important part in my fanfic,
just like part 10 was. sugoi... ~_~
more sweet (and sexy?!) moments between us!!
get ready~ xD
i smile back at him, and we turn back to the tv. we keep watching the funny/weird variety show... hmm...my stomach feels a little weird....don't know if it's cuz of something i ate earlier?? i'll just ignore it. and it's a commercial break right now....
Ehh.... it's a commercial for a jewelry store. a caucasian couple. he gives her the ring when he proposes to her. and she is really happy and accepts. they hug and really~ kiss...*blush* i stop leaning on his shoulder, and we quickly glance at each other and look away again...*doki doki*...
but then...this is our last night together after all. i don't care what happens....i have to be...more open with my feelings and not try to hide them from him! or else i'll always regret and wonder what could have happened, if i had only been more... so i turn back to him, i gently touch his face...toma looks at me nervously...and i give him a long, sweet kiss!!♥ ah...that felt so~ good...and i then i let him go...toma's blushing... ~_~ and he lightly touches his lips and looks at me.
toma: wow~ (embarassed laugh)
me: (smiles) hai...(looking down, embarassed)
toma: (leans forward and looks at me lovingly. and he moves backwards, kneeling in the middle of the bed...he gestures for me to come closer...kyaaaaaaa!! quietly~) come here~ sit here with me...
my heart is beating fast...i happily get closer to him...and from behind, toma wraps his arms around me...hugging me tight. (like nakatu hugged mizuki!!) ah~!!♥ he lingers, our faces touching...his cheeks feel warm too. and then...!! toma sits down so close~ behind me...he... he spreads his long legs around me, so that i'm sitting snugly between his bent legs...ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! *DIES* (19)
toma: (genty~) pull your legs up...
(>///////<) i do as he says, pulling my knees close to my chest, where i feel like my heart is beating so fast, it's gonna jump out any second!!! and i instinctively curl up tight and nervously hold my knees tightly together with my arms, in a defensive position... toma senses i'm getting nervous and quickly looks at me and smiles so sweetly~. toma: (softly~) relax...daijoubu. me: (i nod, softly~) mm... (it's amazing how just him saying that immediately calms me down a little...i slide my hands down, holding my legs below the knees...trying to be less tense.) toma puts his arms around me and lightly rests his hands on my knees and caresses them... toma!!♥ *dies* though i'm wearing jeans, but i feel my knees going weak from his touch... i try to not show that i'm excited, but i can't help shaking a little...toma notices and...as if realizing he's going back on his promise to me earlier...he stops. but he keeps resting his hands on my knees...and the show comes back from the commercial break...
toma: (looks at me, quietly) gomen...am i making you uncomfortable? we don't have to sit like this if u don't want to...
me: (quietly) iie...i'm fine...
toma smiles and gives me a hug again. and he turns back to watch the tv, hands still on my knees...i try so hard to watch tv and relax...but it's so hard, when i feel toma's arms...and his legs (his thighs!) around me!! i think i manage to watch tv for like...5 minutes before i give up!
and i can't stop this feeling.... (20) i'm getting so warm and i feel all tingly~ i feel it so strongly~ right now!! *dies*!!! it's almost like how i felt last night... it suddenly feels hard to breathe...this burning sensation~ is killing me!! but...i don't want this feeling to stop, either...i can't help letting out a soft sigh...toma immediately reacts...
toma: (softly) [yr name]?
i sink backwards, leaning on his chest...and i look at him longingly...toma..."i'd give up forever to touch you..." (goo goo doll's iris). seeing me like this...his face gets red and he stutters...
toma: (softly) are...are you sure this time...
i manage to nod...now that he has my consent, toma eagerly kisses me...pulling me down to the bed with him. *gasp*...we cling to each other...we roll around on the bed for a little while...mm...kissing more and more intensely...touching each other where we have never dared to before. *gasp* over...and under our clothes...oh, toma...yes, right there...i must have said it outloud, because he touches me there again, slower~ this time...ahhhh...oh, toma... and he guides my hand to where he wants to be touched...eventually, to...!! i'm dangerously close to his...!! and i caress him there, making him *gasp*...
but then toma breaks away from my kiss...he motions for me to stay there and goes to turn off the lights and the tv... oh...i just ache~ for him....(again, it's dark, but we can still kinda see each other...) and toma slips off his plaid shirt as he gets back to the bed...i slowly sit up and pull off my shirt...seeing me undress gets him more excited... he quickly comes over and sits across from me, pulling off his t-shirt...i shudder a little when i see his bare chest...for some reason, i turn away from him. (maybe because it's still so overwhelming to see toma half-naked, no matter how many times i've already seen him like this...!!)
so he moves behind me and starts to lift up my tanktop...*gasp* oh, toma... i let him slip it off me...and he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me close to him... ahhh... and he starts kissing the back of my neck softly...mm... and he keeps kissing me, moving down my back...ahhh... sliding my bra strap down my arm so that it can't get in his way...mm...yes toma...i let out a delighted sigh...making toma softly sigh too...and i turn around and kiss him hard...mm...
and i caress his chest...toma starts breathing harder...and i stroke his back...and i slide my hands down lower, holding him by his slender waist...and i...i...look down at his low rise jeans that are now so tight right there~... ahhhh... somehow, i unbutton his jeans and unzip it for him. toma *gasps* and...his black boxer briefs are completely showing...oh toma...*gasp*!! he has nothing to be ashamed of. i can't stop staring at his underwear...his...and i'm so distracted, toma has unbuttoned my jeans and started unzipping me before i could react... and he lets out a soft sigh...lightly tracing his fingers on the edge of my underwear...mm...oh... he's so close~ *gasp*
and toma grabs me, pulling me down to the bed...he climbs on top of me...*gasp* pushes himself against me...oh yes, toma... kissing me passionately...mm...his bare chest and mine (not quite bare) touching like this...the lower half of his body roughly rubbing against mine...oh toma... and because his jeans are slipping off him...!! though my jeans are in the way, i can feel his....*gasp*....!!
oh, the intense joy! mm.......i let out a soft sigh..... and this feeling~...starts washing over me...oh...there are no words to describe it............
but suddenly, i feel a sharp pain...no, not that~ good pain, a bad bad pain, in my stomach! i wince and turn on my side! toma immediately stops, gets off me, worried that he did something wrong.
toma: (gently touches my shoulder, still breathless! worried~) doushitta? did i hurt you?
me: (curled up, in pain...also breathless~) no... stomach ache!! itai! (damn it!! why...why does this have to happen now?! i feel bad for making us stop again and making him worried...i look at him...a concerned look on his face.)
toma: did you eat something weird earlier?
me: (embarassed) i don't know...i ate a lot of things today...maybe it was a bad combination of different foods... (baka, i shouldn't have eaten so much!! should have been more careful...but everything looked (and was!) so delicious!!)
toma: (gently~) don't worry, i'll go get some medicine for you...
me: toma, please hurry... (i wince again, holding my stomach...it really hurts!!)
toma: (worried~) does it hurt really bad?
i nod. but toma's still lying next to me...he hasn't moved much...
toma: (embarassed, quietly~) ano...just give me a minute...
oh....i know why he's not getting up yet. half-naked toma♥....he's lying on his back now...his jeans have slipped down quite a lot...exposing his..his tight~ boxer briefs, his...*gasp*!! i can tell he's still aroused...oh, toma...it's ok. wait till you've calmed down...and even in this pain, i feel SO HOT, seeing him like this!!! kyaaaaaaaa!! and toma doesn't notice me staring at him, he's taking a couple deep breaths, trying to calm down...and soon, he sits up, carefully zipping up his pants, buttoning it. and he puts on his t-shirt. toma covers me with his plaid shirt and then pulls the covers over to keep me warm...
toma: (pats my back) daijoubu...i'll be right back! (i nod) he puts on his jacket and shoulder bag and is about to rush off, when i call him back) nani?
me: take my key (or card)...on the table. (toma nods and takes it and runs out of the room...)
itai...itai!! i wait and wait for toma...i think there's a convenient store not too far from here...i wonder if it's still snowing outside... but as i'm wondering if he's reached the konboni, i feel the bed shaking...oh no!! aftershock!! the whole room starts shaking...i cover myself with our pillows...i start to freak out...I'M GOING TO DIE!! and i'm not gonna be able to see toma one last time!! toma, please hurry back!!
to be continued....
ahhh...that was too hot!!!!!!! (>///<) *DIES* again and again!!
can't believe i kept talking about his....!! but i think it's the parts that talked about his....that got me so hot when reading the yaoi fanfics soooo...yeah.... maybe it's the same for you? lol. good grief. 5 paragraphs of loving~~ and...i hope it didn't seem dirty to you...i really would rather we make sweet love than just have dirty sex. i really tried, but i wonder....what you'll think.
though we didn't go all the way, but this is almost as good, i think!! wow...this was better and longer than last time, right?? lol. i guess i was more than a little influenced by the yaoi fanfics i read yesterday, gomen!! it was only supposed to be some flirting, but somehow!! i kinda lost control of the story again...it's like sometimes the ideas just keep coming and the story has a life of its own?? ehh.... but. it felt right...it felt good...this bed scene. xD goodness, it made me HOT. someone, please get me my anti-delusion pills!! lol.
i hope everyone enjoyed~ it!! remember to comment!! thanks!♥
konbanwa! kate desu.
it's part 21!
ah. still can't believe i wrote what i wrote yesterday!!!
sorry... i couldn't help it... and i'm sorry, toma-kun. but...u just make me feel so hot....
and now...let's continue, starting from the AFTERSHOCK.
it's part 21!
ah. still can't believe i wrote what i wrote yesterday!!!
sorry... i couldn't help it... and i'm sorry, toma-kun. but...u just make me feel so hot....
and now...let's continue, starting from the AFTERSHOCK.
and then the room stops shaking...thank goodness!! and my stomach ache doesn't feel so bad now, so i get up and put my shirt back on...but i still put on toma's plaid shirt over it...i feel safer this way... and i can't believe we had to stop again!! because of me again, too. we were...almost there!!! my face gets red and i feel hot...but then my stomach hurts again!! i curl up under the covers and wait for toma to come back...just as i'm thinking i should call him, i hear the door opening. toma!! ~_~
toma comes in and immediately drops his bag on the floor and rushes over to me, holding me tight...
me: (i cling to him) there was an aftershock!! i was so scared!!
toma: (pats my back) i know. i felt it too...i'm sorry i couldn't come back in time...(i shake my head, it's not his fault...)
and i notice how cold he is...it's because his jacket has some snow on it...it is still snowing...i brush the snow off his jacket for him, and toma lets me go and smiles at me.
toma: (gently~) does your stomach feel better now?
me: a little...
toma: i'll get your medicine...(he gets up from the bed, when suddenly!! the room starts shaking again. another aftershock!! i pull toma back to the bed...toma hugs me, trying to calm me down, firmly~) daijoubu des! kitto...
luckily, the shaking is over quite fast this time, but the room is still...swinging back and forth a little...and finally, it stops...but i'm still clinging to toma...
toma: (gently) you can let go now, it's over...
me: no, it might start again!!
toma: (gently pulls away from me. sweetly~) ok...i'll stay in bed with you for a little while then, but then you have to take your medicine ne! (i nod)
toma takes off his jacket and leaves it on the chair. he turns on the small light at my table. and then gets under the covers with me...~_~ and so, we're lying next to each other again. and he puts one arm around me...i immediately cuddle up to him...and right now...my stomach doesn't hurt so much...
me: (i look at him, quietly) toma...
toma: hmm?
me: (embarassed) gomen. because of me again, we couldn't...
toma: (pulls me a little closer to him...looks at me lovingly, not mad at all...softly~) you don't have to apologize ne. ja, the aftershocks would have ruined our moment anyway...but you have to be careful, what you eat, next time...
me: (quietly) hai...
toma: (a little frustrated~) but really... we've tried twice, and yet each time...(laughs) i think it's a sign, that it's not the right time yet...
me: sou desu ne...(laughs) (but when will be the right time, i wonder?? sigh...)
toma: (gazes at me intently, looking me up and down...making me *blush*...quietly~) but...i'm glad we already got farther than last time...
me: (*doki doki*) hai...
toma looks at me lovingly....toma...♥ he leans over to kiss me...i close my eyes...but the pain comes back!! i wince and curl up, and miss out on his kiss...
toma: i'll get your medicine!
he quickly gets out of bed and gets his bag. he kneels on the floor next to the bed, taking out a bottle. it's all in japanese...and he takes out a pill. and he gets from his bag a can of warm tea that he just bought...he carefully helps me up, props the pillow up behind me so i can lean on it. and he opens the can for me.
toma: (handing me the pill and the can) this will make you feel better ne.
me: toma, arigatou...(toma smiles and nods)
i take the medicine...it's got an awful taste... but the warm tea helps me forget the taste...and then toma takes the can and puts it on my table for me. and he gets back in bed with me. ~_~
toma: do you feel any better yet?
me: not yet...but at least it's hurting less now...
toma: do you feel bloated or anything?
me: i...i guess not...(i pull back the covers to feel my stomach...oh, i... i still haven't zipped up my jeans or buttoned up yet!! my low rise jeans had slipped down a little, and my underwear is totally showing. i glance up at toma...he quickly looks somewhere else...lol. it's ok, toma, u can...look all you want~ i don't mind... ah, he's so daring during those intense moments, but when we're not...doing that... he changes back to the shy and gentle toma.♥ i guess i'm kinda like this too, though.)
i lightly touch him on the shoulder, and he turns around.
me: (smiles, softly) you don't have to be so shy... (thinks back to earlier, when he unzipped my jeans... and later, when he was...kyaaaaaaa....*dies* i feel so hot again...)
toma: (nods) mm...i know... *nervous* (he can't help glancing there~ one more time...and he looks at me and asks me...quietly) can i touch it...
me: (softly) eh? (TOMA!!! DID U REALLY JUST SAY THAT?? *GASP*)
(>//////<) toma: (stutters) i mean...i mean, your stomach...to check if you're bloated or if something is wrong...i remember when i had a stomach ache a while back, the doctor felt my stomach in a certain way...[this did happen to me, kinda. haha.] me: (oh!! xD scared me for a second there...softly~) douzo... toma lifts up my shirt a little and touches my belly...his fingers lightly graze past my...my hip bones...mmm...i just *melt* at his touch...*blush*!!...toma looks down and smiles to himself...ah, he KNEW i'd react in this way... toma: (presses his palm on some parts of my belly...) does it hurt here...here? me: (shakes my head, *doki doki*) no. no. toma: hmm... that's good. me: hai...thanks, Dr. Ikuta. (laughs) toma: (smiles~ but then nervously scratches behind his ear) ano...you should...(he points there, but he doesn't look) oh! right. i quickly zip up and button my jeans. toma: (seriously) but if your stomach ever hurts a lot...remember, it could be appendicitus. especially if it hurts more and more and it hurts on one side of your belly... me: (i nod) mm... ah, i remember, you had appendicitus when you were little...(21) toma: hai~. i still have a scar from the surgery and everything... *doki doki* a scar...down there...it must be covered by his underwear....kyaaaaaaaaa. my face gets all red...of course toma notices... toma: (cutely) ah, you haven't seen it, right? kyaaaaaaa!! he loves teasing me like this! toma...you know i want to see it... *blush* me: (quietly) iie... toma: (casually~) here, i'll show you... (he smiles at me and pulls back the covers.) toma, you're a total flirt sometimes!! xD but i love it when u flirt with me and tease me...ahh... and he unbuttons his jeans. *DIES*!!!! (i know, i already saw him, his briefs and all...earlier, but it was dark...to see him...now...down there...clearly....*gasp*!! without realizing it...i'm...holding my breath!!) and he unzips... *DIES* part of his hip bones, his black boxer briefs showing...so low on his hips...oh...toma... and he carefully pulls down his briefs a little bit, on one side. *DIES* and i see it...a tiny reddish line on his skin...barely raised at all...the scar is small, maybe not even an inch long. nothing special about it, but it's location....so close!! [this is what the scar might look like, and it's location on some someone's body. a woman, though. but for u to see low it is...!! http://www.flickr.com/photos/catzi-cat/4292344048/. u'd be surprised, how many ppl have taken and posted up pics of their appendectomy scar!! xD some look really scary though.] and i...i want to touch it... toma: (sees me staring, blushing furiously...he indulges me... quietly~) you can touch it... (>///////<) me: eh? toma: (*blush*, quietly~) actually...you already touched me there earlier, don't you remember? WHAT?? oh...goodness!! i guess i did...when he was guiding my hand all over him...oh...but that was during a passionate moment...i can't touch him there now! can i? me: (quietly) sou deska? demo... (but i can't help staring at it again...maybe it'd be ok...i'll just lightly touch it...) and toma seems to be getting a little excited, anticipating my touch...he swallows nervously and looks down, but lies still, waiting for me. and so i...i lightly touch the small scar. and my fingers brush against one of his hip bones (ahhhh!!)...and toma's face turns really~ red! he quickly zips up and buttons his jeans, pulling the covers back over him. me: (still *doki doki*) sugoi ne...do you have any more scars, toma? toma: (his face is still kinda red...~_~) iya. (laughs) do you have a scar fetish or something? me: (embarassed) yada! toma: what about you? do you have any scars from surgery or something? me: iie...i only have a small mole on my lower back, but it's nothing special...(i reach behind, under my shirt and feel it, it's only slightly raised, like toma's scar.) toma: i know. i touched...(*blush* stutters~) uh...i saw it when i was...uh...when we were... me: (*blush*!! thinks back...i think he did touch it when we were....goodness, i think he did touch me all~ over, at least my upper half...i nod. softly~) mm...
to be continued...
goodness, we're still flirting and touching even though i'm sick!! lol. ah, but we can't help it...xD and seeing his scar, down there~!! a really wicked~ cool idea i came up with a while back. and it's all true. toma does have a scar from his surgery a long time ago!
that's all for today.
i hope u enjoyed all the flirting today. it's fun to flirt with toma neeeee. xD
ja ne!
kate♥
(SORRY! STUPID BLOGGER, SOME OF THE STORY, THE TEXT KEEPS GETTING ALL SQUISHED TOGETHER WITHOUT THE PROPER SPACING. I FIX IT, but it COMEs BACK. GEEZ!! i had to BOLD the parts that are supposed to be a new line. hopefully u still read it!!)
hey~
it's the 3rd week mark!
part 22 today.
i love #22. cuz i "met" toma on
dec.22 in the 1st fanfic ne~)
hmm...only 1 new comment? i'm really anxious to hear what everyone thinks about the bed scene, already!! xD
seems like our last night together...it's such a long, amazing night!! but it will have to come to an end soon....awwwww.
and now...on with the story~ i'm getting sleepy, but i fight sleep, to stay up with toma...
(a small change...i meant to say boxer briefs! something like the dolce & gabbana kind that i've seen toma wear in pictures...the one toma's wearing in these pics: http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomacollection17/2614154543/sizes/o/
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4018/4272553963_a9700dd588_o.png)
hey~
it's the 3rd week mark!
part 22 today.
i love #22. cuz i "met" toma on
dec.22 in the 1st fanfic ne~)
hmm...only 1 new comment? i'm really anxious to hear what everyone thinks about the bed scene, already!! xD
seems like our last night together...it's such a long, amazing night!! but it will have to come to an end soon....awwwww.
and now...on with the story~ i'm getting sleepy, but i fight sleep, to stay up with toma...
(a small change...i meant to say boxer briefs! something like the dolce & gabbana kind that i've seen toma wear in pictures...the one toma's wearing in these pics: http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomacollection17/2614154543/sizes/o/
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4018/4272553963_a9700dd588_o.png)
and i think toma also thought back to those moments in the dark...because he's looking at me...in this way!! *blush*!!! i look away...and so does toma...and there's an extremelyyyy long awkward silence, until my stomach starts to hurt again. i clutch at my belly and sink down in the bed...and i feel a little nauseous...
toma: (worried~) daijoubu?
me: (and then the pain subsides...) i'm ok...this pain just comes and goes...(i sit up again, leaning on my pillow...)
toma: (he looks hurt~, firmly holds my hand...) i think it'll take some time for the medicine to sink in... you just have to bear it for a while longer...
i hold his hand tightly, trying to smile. and i nod. he gently hugs me...
toma: you'll be ok...you just need some rest...
me: (hugging him back) hai...
ah...whenever i'm with him, i feel so completely loved~. and so comfortable and safe...i know he'll always love and take care of me...listen to me and comfort me when i'm sad...smile and laugh with me when i'm happy. and he will always protect me, no matter what...
toma: (lets go of me and looks at his watch...) oh, it's already 3...
me: (i look at my watch. 3:01am. worried~) eh...so fast...toma, what time do you have to wake up?
toma: (nervously scratches behind one ear, nervously~) ano...actually, i don't need to wake up that~ early....maybe 10am. i don't have anything i need to do, until noon tomorrow.
me: eh! nande...but you said...
toma: (looks down, quietly~) i'm sorry, i just didn't want you to ask me to stay here with you tonight because i was afraid of...well, you know...dakara...
me: (i'm a little mad, but....he did have a good reason for lying to me... i smile at him~) wakatta... i'm glad you can stay here with me longer...
toma: (he's relieved i'm not mad...and smiles sweetly) yokkata~. hai...but it's so late...we should really sleep now. and you need your rest...
me: no...i can't sleep yet. i'm afraid i'll throw up...i feel nauseous now...*sighs* but you go ahead and sleep toma...
toma: (worried~) nauseous? yappe... i can't sleep when you're like this....i won't go to sleep until you do. just in case you feel worse, i can take care of you...
me: (touched~) toma...♥ (i nod) mm.
toma lightly touches my cheek and smiles at me...and he doesn't mind that i'm still wearing his red plaid shirt...he carefully fixes one side of the collar for me...and toma moves closer to me and holds my hand.
toma: do you want to watch tv or something?
me: iie... we don't have to do anything, i just want to be close to you right now... (i lean on his shoulder...)
toma: (nods) mm. boku mou...
we sit in bed, in complete silence for a while, except for the sound of us breathing and some late night city noises outside the window.....i start to get sleepy...but i don't want to sleep yet...i can't waste time sleeping when toma's right beside me!! but maybe i can stay up if...
me: (*yawns*, quietly~) toma...tell me about the time you spent in kyoto last year to film ningen shikkaku...(22)[kyoto pics: http://www.flickr.com/groups/kyoto_city/pool/
some nice pics of toma in kyoto:
http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/4098/scan0071c.jpg
http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/1868/popolo3.jpg
http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/1042/scan0102r.jpg
http://img190.imageshack.us/img190/7485/scan0101l.jpg
credit: strawberry_gemm]
toma: eh? i already told you about it...
me: it doesn't matter...i just want to hear your voice...
toma: (smiles at me) ok. (*yawns*) ...well, the food is delicious! the cast and i went to a different restaurant each night for dinner. they all had really good food. sugoi ne!
me: (softly) hai...(getting sleepy)toma: i was able to find some nice places to eat on my own, when i wandered around by myself sometimes...but i mostly just stayed in my room and read the script. but if we ever get the chance to go to kyoto together, i can take you to some of those places to eat some good food! i'd really like that...
me: hai...i'd really like that too. (getting more sleepy)
toma: i really love the relaxed way of life there~ out of all the places i went to for filming movies last year, kyoto was definitely my favorite.
me: ii ne...and kyoto is such a pretty place... (very very sleepy)
toma: it's a nice and quiet place, really~ so traditional...i like seeing all the nice, old buildings... it feels nostalgic and very japanese. it's completely the opposite of tokyo...and the scenary is so pretty...it's so refreshing and pure. in the rural areas, the trees, the mountains, the fresh air. ahhh. kire... it's good to live close to nature ne.
me: mm... (half-asleep)
toma: and the beautiful night sky...ahh. too many stars to count...i wish you could have seen it.
me: mm... (half-asleep)
toma: (thoughtfully~) in the future, when i am ready to settle down and...get married, start a family...i think i would like to find a nice house in kyoto and live there happily for the rest of my life...with the person that i love....(shyly~) do you....do you think you'd like to live in kyoto someday...(he glances at me)
me: hai...(half-asleep)
toma: (sees that my eyes are shut and i'm half-asleep, a little annoyed~) did you hear what i said?
me: hai...kyoto is your favorite...(half-asleep)
toma: (*sighs* frustrated~) i said~ i want to settle down in kyoto in the future, with the person i love...
me: really....who's that? (half-asleep)
toma: (gives up~) iya, never mind...
to be continued....
actually, kyoto seems like a boring place to me, but since toma likes it. ~_~ but it's definitely pretty ne!!
by the way, i thought about it, cuz i needed to work out what time it was and.....i'm guessing that intense bed scene...lasted around half an hour... goodness!!!! *DIES* and just fyi, toma was gone f/the room around 20 minutes 2 get the meds....
I HATE BLOGGER sometimes. arrgh!!! (>___<)
konbanwa~
kate desu.
part 23!
and so...i have this~ dream.....!!
kate desu.
part 23!
and so...i have this~ dream.....!!
toma gives me a kiss on the cheek...lingering a little...before he carefully slips one hand behind my back and with his other around my shoulder, gently holds me, helping me lie down...and he pulls down the pillow for me...as i curl up... so tired....must sleep... and toma pulls the covers over me a little more, tucking me in. ~_~ he leaves for a moment to turn off the light and comes back. and he lies closely behind me, one arm around my waist, holding me close to him...ahh...even though i'm half-asleep, i notice and like the feeling of our bodies close like this...
toma: (whispers near my ear~) oyasumi~
me: (softly~) oyasumi...
toma: (holds me a little tighter...whispers~) skida yo~
me: (softly~) mm...atashi mou~
toma lightly nuzzles my neck while he cuddles me...♥ ahhh...i love you toma. and this is the last thing i remember before i completely fall asleep...........
5:39am @my hotel room
*gasp*!! i suddenly wake up. my heart is still beating insanely fast...and i'm so hot!!! i'm lying on my back now, but toma's still lying as close as can be, one arm around my waist...
i...i...had a dream.....
that toma and i...
*DIES*
we...
we made love~
sweet sweet love...and i can still see and feel everything that happened in my dream. it felt so real!! *DIES*!!
it started with me being back in [yr country]...and of course, i miss him like crazy...much much more than before...it just hurts so much when i can't see him, kiss him...and it's like that song (puddle of mudd's Blurry)...i'm..."pre-occupied without you,
i cannot live at all..."
and soon, i find myself coming to visit him again, in april. and toma's so happy to see me... ~_~ we take a lovely walk through a park in the evening, surrounded by the cherry trees, full of beautiful pink cherry blossoms. there's a lot of other people there too...taking pictures, having picnics...but we somehow find a secluded, quiet spot...there's a gentle, cool spring breeze...and as some cherry blossom petals are fluttering past us, toma kisses me (for the first time, in public)...! a short but sweet kiss.♥ ah...
and later we go eat dinner at a romantic restaurant...and we go watch a romantic movie together...and then toma takes me back to my hotel room (i'm staying at the granbell hotel again). we talk for a little while, but then toma says it's late, and says he should go. i don't want him to go...i...i ask him if he can stay with me tonight, just before he reaches the door. toma turns around...he looks at me lovingly, smiles and nods. i rush over, wrap my arms around him, kissing him in a way...to let him know...i don't just want to cuddle with him tonight. and toma knows what i want~ ....he kisses me intensely, only breaking away for a moment to turn off the lights.
and soon we're in bed together...under the covers...we forget about everything else and just...enjoy~ each other...............................
and finally.......we can't wait any longer. we....we pull off each other's underwear, our last pieces of clothing...*gasp*! we pause for a moment to gaze at...and caress...the most hidden parts of each others' bodies...now fully exposed... and we *gasp* at each gentle touch, feeling so vulnerable and yet so loved....and we're shaking with excitement, breathless, anticipating the joining together of our bodies......
and then toma... *gasp*!! oh, toma........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's...it's like we just melt into each other................
[use your imagination, kudasai...]
goodness, he's an amazing lover... yappari~ *DIES* again and again and again!!! i...i couldn't help sighing and calling out his name and "oh, yes~" over and over! but really, he...he was very gentle with me~ and it was....so amazing. just like i imagined it would be... and afterwards...we are cuddling. both feeling so completely happy~. after a while, toma turns to me and quietly says "do you...want to take a shower together?" kyaaaaaaaa!!!!
and THAT'S when i suddenly opened my eyes and realize it was all just a dream! but goodness, it felt so real!! and i still have that feeling~!!i don't want this feeling to go away so fast...i...i let myself feel the pleasure for a while longer...and i softly sigh with delight, my body still tingling and hot...but after i sigh a second time, toma moves!! is he awake??!! no...he lets go of me, rolls over to the other side and curls up...whew!!!
though i want him so~ badly right now...!!! but it's (i look at my watch) 5:41am! we've only almost got 3 hours of sleep. i don't want to wake him up for this~. and it's still dark now, but i know the sun will come up soon...and...I KNOW~ if we try again, somehow we'll be interrupted. i just have this feeling that we will... *sigh* i want to get up and take a cold shower to calm down, but then i'd definitely wake him!
i'll just go splash some cold water on my face then...i start to slowly sit up in bed, trying not to make any noise...but as soon as i move, i feel...!! i can't help letting out a soft sigh~ i sink back down to the bed. i'm clearly still too excited....!! i'd better wait a while longer....now i know how toma felt earlier...except i know it'll take me longer to get up....
(>/////<) toma, look what you did~ to me!! ohh....but i'd let you do it again in a heartbeat... and i...i stay still and enjoy this feeling~ that toma gave me for a while longer......trying not to sigh or make any noise or move. goodness, it's hard~ to do!!! a while later.....i slowly sit up and get out of bed...quietly make myself to the bathroom in the dark....and i reach the sink. ahhhh...nice cold water....i've got to calm down!! and i get a small towel and run the cold water over it...wipe my face and parts of my body that are still are so hot right now....but i don't want to undress either, so i can't really cool everything down... but still...i manage to calm down a lot. and i get out and make my way back to the bed...but i accidentally bump into the table! me: itai! (ack! i bumped my leg into the end of the table and some things on the table got knocked over!! baka!! it's not even that dark now, but i was just careless...) toma immediately sits up in bed, awakened by the loud noise... toma: (worried~) doushitta? me: (yappe!! nervously~) nothing, i just bumped into the table...go back to sleep... toma: are you ok? me: hai... (i put back the things on the table that were knocked down...) toma: (rubs his eyes, looks at his watch. and he looks at me, smiling~, gently~) does your stomach feel better now? me: (walk over to the window) hai...i'm all better now. (smiles) i pull back the curtains a little and look out at the pretty, dark, blue-ish twilight sky...i can still some stars...i'm just stalling...i don't want to get back into bed with toma right away~ toma: what are u looking at? (sweetly~) come back to bed~ me: (kyaaaaaa!! ~_~ ah...i love it when toma orders (asks) me to do something~~ please order~ me around sometimes, toma. xD) uh...just checking if it's still snowing. it stopped. the sky is clear and pretty... toma: ah, hounto ni? (smiles) i nervously, slowly walk back to the bed and get in. just keep calm....don't think of the dream. don't think of the dream. but as soon as i get in bed, toma pulls me close and gives me a big hug!! *doki doki*!!! toma: ureshii~! i'm glad you're ok now. (and he lets go and smiles so sweetly at me. ahhhh~ toma. kawaii......*blush*!!! feeling warm again....)
to be continued...
(#%#&@!! don't know why blogger keeps squishing all my text together. next time, i'll start a new post. maybe cuz this post is getting too long. arrgh!!!)
kyaaaaa!!! (>/////<) it's just a dream...but a very powerful one!! toma. he...made~ me all weak and unable to get up for a while.....*DIES*!!! that was hot. but...sweet, too!! oh, but it was just a dream. i had a lot of trouble writing this dream bed scene...seems like all the sexy stuff i could think of, already put it into the earlier bed scene, so. haha. sorry, maybe it was a little disappointing/anti-climactic for you? ano...i left most of it to the imagination, so it was quite short....maybe go back and read the previous bed scene, and then this one, and you'll get the right feeling~!!! xD actually, that's what i did~~ and i'm sorry if it seems like all we can think about is sex, but...ah, it's our last night together after all...please excuse my constant desire for him. lol. good night, everyone! ~_~ sweet dreams. ^^; i might not be able to update the fanfic tomorrow. gomen ne! but more time to think edit/add to the ending would be good too...and if there's anyone out there who's behind in reading my fanfic, you have some time to catch up now! :P
doumo! ~_~
kate desu.
didn't update yesterday, but here i am again...
a short update today.
and now it's part 24!!
24 is my fav number, btw~~
ja, let's keep going...
so, toma's awake now!!
and i'm getting all hot~ again.
and go~
kate desu.
didn't update yesterday, but here i am again...
a short update today.
and now it's part 24!!
24 is my fav number, btw~~
ja, let's keep going...
so, toma's awake now!!
and i'm getting all hot~ again.
and go~
we look at each other...*nervous*!!! and i notice toma's blushing!! yappe~ toma rarely blushes...when he does, it usually means he's...excited~ i can't help blushing too!! and then toma...! gently touches my flushed cheek, tilts his head, leans over, and kisses me tenderly. ahhhhhhhhh!!!! i feel hottttttttt!! oh...toma...yes...
NOOOOO!! I CAN'T!! i manage to break away from his kiss...
toma: (surprised~) what's wrong?
me: (*doki doki*!!!) ano...gomen. i'm really tired...uh...let's just go to sleep, ok?
toma: (embarassed...purses his lips. disappointed~) souka. hai...
so, we are lying in bed next to each other...yatta!! i managed to turn him down for the first time ever!!! xD oh, but i'm sorry, toma....i just don't want you to lose sleep cuz of this. but now...i wonder how i'm going to be able to sleep...i am still feeling so excited~ i'm trying to calm down, when i feel toma's arm wrap around my waist from the back...ahhhh!! and he's spooning me now...kyaaaaaa. *doki doki*!!!!
toma: (softly~) good night~
me: (ahh...~_~ BUT...NO!!! THIS IS NOT GOOD. i gently remove toma's arm and turn around to face him) toma....could you not hold me tonight when we sleep...uh...because....uh.... [good grief, i can't think of any reason to not cuddle with him!!]
toma: (looks a little hurt~, quietly~) but i always hold you when i sleep....what's wrong? you're trying to avoid being close with me all of a sudden...
oh, toma! i'm sorry!! when i see him hurt, i hurt too...
me: sonna jun nayo...i...i...please don't make me explain, toma...let's just go to sleep, ok?
toma: (turns on his back, away from me, and looks at the ceiling, frowning. quietly~) i can't sleep. and it's your fault~
me: (lightly touch his shoulder) i'm sorry i bumped into the table and woke you up!
toma: no, not that.
me: oh....i'm sorry i don't want to cuddle with you tonight.
toma: no, not that either. i've been awake for a while now...
me: eh? nande?
toma: (turns towards me, *blushes*, looks left and right nervously, before looking straight at me and softly~) you were talking in your sleep.
EHHHHHHH!!! I IMMEDIATELY SIT UP AND COVER MY MOUTH WITH ONE HAND.
*EMBARASSED*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: (quietly~) masaka....
toma: (sits up too, quietly~) hai...you woke me up when you...you were calling my name. and you were...shaking...and sighing... (he looks down, embarassed)
me: (GOOD GRIEF, HE KNOWS WHAT I WAS DREAMING ABOUT!!! (>/////<) did....did he hear EVERYTHING????!!! stuttering~) how...how...long...have you been...a-awake?
toma: (nervously scratches his head) i...i guess around 10 minutes or so...
me: (THE LAST 10 MINUTES!!! WERE THE MOST INTENSE!!! PROBABLY WHY I STARTED TALKING OUTLOUD, WHEN THAT FEELING~ WAS THE STRONGEST~!!!!!! YAPPE!! i...i don't know what to say...i can't believe it...i...i...)
toma: (sees how embarassed i am, he regrets telling me. gently~) gomen, i was going to pretend i didn't hear you, kedo...really, u don't have to be so embarassed about it!
me: (easy for you to say, toma!! and i think back...oh no...when i just woke up and was still feeling...!!! he heard me!!!) that means, you were awake when i just woke up? you....you....heard me....
toma: hai...hearing your sighs...how excited you still were.... (looks down again, embarassed) i...i had to move away from you, or i'd get too excited myself and you would know i'm not really asleep....
me: souka... (*BLUSH*!!!!! SO EMBARASSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
toma: (pouts) but...i don't understand. why don't you want to be close to me now...especially after that dream?
me: (i gently hold his hand...quietly~) i'm sorry. i do want be close to you....but i don't want you to lose sleep because of me. i know you must be really tired, and i keep thinking i'll somehow mess up again and we'll have to stop in the middle of...of...
toma: (smiles, sweetly~) ah, so that's it? that's why? (laughs)
me: hai...
toma: (smiles sweetly at me) ba~ka. (lightly taps me on the head. and then he looks at me intently, seriously~) i need you~ more than i need sleep ne.
TOMA....♥♥ ah, I LOVE YOU!! oh, i'm *melting* already, hearing him say this....kyaaaaaaa! i just look at him lovingly....oh, he is so unbelievably good-looking!!! and he's so incredibly sweet!! how could i have thought that i could really resist him....i want him...i just want~ him!! and i'm getting that feeling~ again, anticipating what we're about to do.... *BLUSH*!!!!!! *DIES*!!!
toma: (smiles and looks down, knowing i'm getting excited because of him...he moves closer to me...softly~) and it doesn't matter...don't worry about messing up....let's just enjoy these moments, no matter how long it lasts, ne?
(>////<) i nod...goodness, he's leaning so close to me...our lips almost touching...and his arms are surrounding me, his hands resting on the bed behind me. goodness, toma...!! and then he whispers in my ear...
toma: ano...i'm nervous~ in the dream you seemed so...i don't know if i can be that good, but i'll try~ my best.
TOMA.....!!! ahhhhhhhh!!! (>//////<) h-hai, p-please...do your best. and before i can reply, toma grabs me and gives me a long, sexy~ kiss...mm...mmm....mmmmmm!!!!!! and then he pulls back for a moment.
toma: (breathless! quietly~) i've been waiting to do that ever since you woke me up...
me: (breathless! i touch my lips, which toma has just...oh...he really...!! i let out a delighted sigh~) toma...!!
toma: (he smiles at me and playfully~) now, give me back my shirt~!
oh...i laugh as he easily pulls off the red plaid shirt (that i'm still wearing over my t-shirt). and toma tosses it on the bed, pulling me close and giving me another amazing kiss, as he eagerly pulls me down to the bed with him...mmmm..... oh, toma....!! *gasp*
to be continued...
kyaaaaaaaaa!!! *DIES*
toma's so excited neeeee. i think i'm always the most turned on, when i think of toma being turned on. lol. that's just how i feel~ EHH...SEEMS LIKE I KEEP WRITING HOT SCENES CONTINUOUSLY LATELY?? LOL. it's been so fun and hot~ to write though!!
goodness, i hope that never happens to me though. have that~ kind of dream about toma and have someone overhear me!! LOL. and honestly, i've never had such an intense dream like that about toma before (i wish!!), but i imagine it would leave me quite weak~ afterwards. xD
kate deshita~
(no comments at all recently...ehh...nande?? o_o)
hi hi!
this is kate.
so, it's part 25!!
(toma's age ne~)
and it's morning now.
good morning, toma....♥
this is kate.
so, it's part 25!!
(toma's age ne~)
and it's morning now.
good morning, toma....♥
[remember how cute sleeping toma is!!
http://i732.photobucket.com/albums/ww330/nurulwau/619302953136_1.jpg
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinOvG4nJKOb48Gi__-dFQl8fXkYCubb1vSP8d2_KH50SfqOQM5COMALt6wpnyMVv9MV2Z7AM7G9WE36uH_5kseQDL4LhOmGv5-wPZZo8_60-h9b0aMQNCk0x2JeSDhemUN9yOs26orSdY/s1600-h/beauty+sleep.PNG
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT747Zk7rvxiIxBGoII4d_jDpmTWxUu-_j5QKakI7WT_Nki7QXU6BJNYB9IaynAMknMtcaMjOMYUGBkVUS_FbEMglX0khcnDhsZ3FoP_qZVya4WjTKTL2YLrUL-s2hm8AONL88vvWO3GE/s1600-h/kawaiiSleep.PNG]
9:56am @my hotel room
i wake up~. not because i had set an alarm or anything...i just did... and it's light now, but not too bright...it must still be a little cloudy outside. i don't feel tired, though i didn't sleep much... and i'm lying on my side. and i can still feel toma's arm around my waist...and i can hear and feel him breathing softly~ right behind me....ahhh... i gently remove his arm, so that i can turn around and look at him....
i lie closely next to him, gazing at him. oh, he's so lovely andbeautiful! he's my angel...
"You're everything I need and more
Its written all over your face...
Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
Youre the only one that I want
Think i'm addicted to your light..."
(beyonce's Halo)
toma...i lightly touch his face.... ah, i love him so much, with all my heart! and i lightly ruffle his lovely, soft chestnut-colored hair...but seeing his tousled hair...i remember...my eyes drift down to the tousled sheets he's lying on...and i think back to what happened a few hours ago...
things did get really intense...it got to the point where toma and i were shirtless and our jeans unbuttoned, unzipped....and...toma did something~ that made me call out his name for the first time (before, i'd only been doing so in my mind)!!! (>////<) [i...i thought i should leave this to the imagination...so u can just picture for yourself, what toma does to you that would make you call out his name....but then i couldn't help thinking xD...and i did write a little bit for this part. not sure if it's that good...i'll just post it in the explanations post *HERE*, and u can check it out if u want to (it'll be near the bottom of the post, in RED text), or just skip over it...]
but then...we noticed it was getting light...and we can clearly see each other...and....it just got a little embarassing... it just didn't seem right for our first time to be in the morning, in the daytime....and so, we reluctantly decided to stop. and put our clothes back on...we were still so excited...but also tired...and we cuddled~ ♥ toma was proud that he got me to call out his name at least once, even though we hadn't even....!! i thought back to what he did that made me....*dies*! goodness!! i can't believe he really.... embarassed, i lightly hit him on the arm, and toma laughed. we cuddled a little more before we both fell asleep...
and back to right now....i never get tired of watching him sleep...ahhh....but then...i'm startled by *vibrating*! toma's cell phone's alarm. it's time for him to wake up. he left his cell under his pillow...but he doesn't seem to hear it...hmm...i keep waiting for him to wake up, but he's in deep sleep...i turn off the alarm for him and gently shake him on one shoulder...
me: (quietly) toma...
toma doesn't react at all.
me: (shake him again, harder, tugging at his plaid shirt...louder~) toma, wake up. it's 10.
toma pushes my hand away, shifts in bed, scratching his head, annoyed that i'm interrupting his sleep...
http://i508.photobucket.com/albums/s322/ilovetoma2/voice-%20screencaps/11ep3.png [remember how cranky toma is when woken up? kawaii!!!]
toma...he's really so tired. well, i guess that's mainly my fault. xD...but i think this will wake him up...i lie back down and move closer to him and...gently kiss him on the lips. it only takes a moment before toma starts to kiss me back...and i pull away from him, knowing he's awake now. he looks at me lovingly and smiles. ah, i wish i could wake him up this way~, everyday....
toma: (smiling, softly~) ohayo~
me: (smiles, softly~) ohayo~ your alarm just went off. time to wake up.
toma: (pouts, shutting his eyes, curling up again) just 5 more minutes!
me: (gently~) no...what if you're late?
toma: (eyes still shut, quietly) daijoubu. i just need 5 more minutes...(he opens his eyes for a moment and resets the alarm on his phone. and he shuts his eyes again.)
awww. kawaii...~_~ he's really tired. i guess 5 more wouldn't hurt...and i lie down and close my eyes too. but then...i feel toma's soft lips on mine...he's kissing me gently...and his hands find my waist under the covers, pulling me closer to him...*blush* oh toma...he meant 5 more minutes of....kyaaaaaa!! *faints* and i kiss him back, wrapping my arms around him...mmm...mmm.......soon, the phone starts vibrating...but toma continues to kiss me....and with one hand, he turns off the alarm and then goes back to touching...and kissing me...just a little longer, we're both thinking...and soon, toma pulls away from me...
toma: (he strokes my hair, sweetly~) i really needed that extra 5 minutes with you...
me: (*blush*!!! i smile at him~) toma...♥ (gently) but u really should get up now...i look at my watch. 10:09am.
toma: (still holding onto me, he pouts and sighs unhappily) ok...
i smile sweetly at him...toma smiles back at me and leans over, giving me one last kiss, a really sweet one~ ahhhhh....probably our last kiss for a long long while...so of course, toma kisses me for a long time...to make sure i'll remember this kiss for a long while...! ahhhhh....
and then we sit up in bed...toma rubs his eyes and scratches his head...
me: ii no ka? are you going to be late?
toma: (turns and smiles at me) no, i still have plenty of time. don't worry.
and toma gets out of bed and gets ready to leave...and soon it's time to say goodbye. we're standing next to the door...
toma: (purses his lips) ja...
me: (i nod...) mm...
toma gives me a gentle hug. i hold on to him tightly...i...i really don't want to let go of him...
toma: (lets go of me, smiling...softly) don't be sad...we'll still see each other in a couple hours ne.
me: (sadly~) hai... (i look down...)
toma: (holds my hand tightly. i look up at him. he smiles and gently~) ja ne...tsuma.
me: (ahhh...the way he says "wife" now....is different from the way he used to say it....there's a certain weight to it now. he really means it~. and i really mean it when i call him my husband, too...i smile and softly reply~) ja ne...otto.
we look at each other for a moment...and then toma lets go of my hand and opens the door to leave...he looks back once more as i stand at the door, and he smiles before turning and walking away, down the hallway....
though we'll still see each other later, but i'll have to leave tonight....this is only the first goodbye today. *sigh* and after he turns at the end of the hallway and i can't see him anymore...i shut the door and lie back down on the bed....clutching toma's pillow. and it's still a little warm....*sigh* i miss him already. but then my phone chimes. eh...i pick up my phone that's lying next to my pillow...
EHH!! toma sent me a picture of...us!! from sometime this morning...we're lying next to each other, facing each other...our eyes closed. awwwwwww!! so sweet~!!!!!!!! he must have woken up sometime this morning and taken that picture, and then went back to sleep. and this message came with the picture:
to remember our first night together...
it was unforgettable. really~
ahhhhhhhh!!! toma!!!♥ i love this picture...i can't believe i didn't remember to take a picture of us sleeping or at least, toma sleeping!! and i send him this message:
this picture is perfect!♥
toma, i love you!!
[yr name]
and i get up, feeling energized and happy!! yeosh! it's my last day here. i've got to make the most of it!! i get out of bed and quickly make the bed....the tousled sheets and comforter reminding me of what we were doing...that messed up the bed so much.......*blush*!!!
and then my phone chimes. toma!! i quickly grab it from the bed and read his message:
i love you~
toma
ahhh!! though he rarely says it (but he definitely shows it~!), but whenever he does....it fills my heart with so much happiness....and i can't help hugging my cellphone for a moment. ~_~
to be continued...
yappari, we had to stop, again. sorry. xD
iya, but you probably saw it coming...lol. my fanfic is just full of almost~ moments. sumimasen!
ahh...a kiss to wake him up. ~_~ and toma's pic of us (well, only really, me, but he was pretending to sleep for that shot, but still!) sleeping.... SWEET!!! and of course, we needed to kiss some more in bed... xD
hmm. like i said....this fanfic will end soon...ah, i'm really gonna miss it!! but part of me will be relieved, too!! but i'll try my best~ to make the ending nice and sweet....
ja ne.
kate
hey~
everyone-chan, genki?
how are you? ~_~
so today, it's part 26~
(toma will turn 26 this october~)
so i decide to go to some places and then the onsen..... SO HOT!! (literally and figuratively~ xD)
everyone-chan, genki?
how are you? ~_~
so today, it's part 26~
(toma will turn 26 this october~)
so i decide to go to some places and then the onsen..... SO HOT!! (literally and figuratively~ xD)
11:09am @my hotel room
i've finished getting ready to go out...and i can't stop thinking about him....♥ i look at my cell phone again. yappari, the wallpaper is now the pic of us sleeping together f/this morning neeeeee.♥ hmmm....whenever i'm in tokyo, i usually don't call him, though he says it's ok, cuz i don't want to bother him when he's working. toma says he turns off the ringer anyway, when he's busy, but just in case he forgets...i end up just waiting for him to call and never calling him. but just this one time...i'd like to call him. he should not be busy until 12pm...i'll just do it~ and i hold my cell phone to my ear, nanka...i'm nervous~
after just one ring, toma picks up.
toma: (cheerful~) eh? you finally call me ne!
me: (sweetly~) hai...is it alright for us to talk a little bit? where are you now?
toma: daijoubu~ i'm still in my room. i was just about to leave when u called. (sweetly~) i forgot to ask...did you sleep well last night?
me: hai~ and you, toma?
toma: of course...(gently~) since i got to hug you all night...
(*blush*!!! ah, toma, i sleep so much better with you holding me, too...)
me: (softly~) souka...
toma: mm... and i had such a wonderful dream....
me: hounto ni? about what?
toma: ano....nevermind. it's silly.
me: oh...(*curious*)
toma: so, we'll meet later around 2pm at the meiji shrine, right?
me: (smiles) hai~
toma: where are you going now?
me: ah...just a couple places...and then to an onsen. (*blush*) ano...
toma: (sweetly~) nani?
me: (quietly~) though we don't have time to go together this time...i hope we can go to an onsen together next time i'm here...
toma: (shyly~) ah, ii ne....i'd really like that~ i...i want to see how you look when you're--
me: (naked??? i interrupt him! *BLUSH*!!) TOMA!!
toma: (continues~) when you're wearing a yukata. u didn't let me finish!
me: (oh. lol. embarassed~) gomen. i thought...
toma: (laughs) i know what u're thinking! (flirty~) well, now you've got me thinking about that too...
me: (toma!!! more embarassed~) yamerou!
toma: (laughs) gomen, gomen...
me: ano...well, i actually called because i...i forgot to tell you in the message i sent you earlier....
toma: mmn?♥
me: (*blush*, shyly~) i just want to say....last night was very special to me....it was truly unforgettable for me too, hounto ni....it was...it was...well...*BLUSH*!!!
toma: (though i can't see him, i can almost see his sweet smile right now!!!) (softly~) mm...wakkata. but i...i can't believe it almost all didn't happen....if not for that earthquake, i would have gone home. we couldn't have so many sweet moments together...
me: hai... (oh, goodness, he's right!!! thank goodness for that earthquake!!)
toma: from now on, let's promise each other....we'll always be true to our hearts... we'll always do what we feel is right and not worry too much about the consequences, ok? life's too short. we should spend as much time together as possible, no matter what...
me: hai...i promise~ (smile)
toma: boku mou~!
me: ummm...i guess i'll go now, and you should get going too, toma.
toma: hai... are you going to the onsen now?
me: no, not until later...
toma: (flirty~) ja, try not to think of me while you're in the bath~
me: (*BLUSH*!!!!) toma!!! urusai yo!!
toma: just kidding! (laughs)
me: (embarassed~) mou... (oh, but he's totally right...i probably will think of him in the bath....wishing he was next to me....kyaaaa...)
toma: (sweetly~) dewa...ja ne~
me: (sweetly~) mm...ja ne!
1:18pm @the onsen
i'm in a big bathing pool......completely naked. (>///<) there's not a lot of other women here in the pool (some look like they're not from japan, like me. yey. haha. makes me feel less self-conscious.). so much steam coming f/the water, so we can't see each other that well. but no one really looks at each other anyway...all just enjoying being in the hot water.....it's EMBARASSING at first....but it's really so relaxing~ too! the water is SO HOT~ at first, but my body got used to it quickly...ahhhh. it's really nice to just soak and feel all nice and clean, too...especially since i'm going to the shrine later. it'll be nice to feel all clean and pure before i go there, after all! especially since i've been...had quite a lot of sexy, dirty thoughts about him~ this morning...goodness....
i close my eyes for a moment...no wonder toma loves onsens. [he really does. ~_~ he used to even go with yamapi's family on trips to the onsen!] toma~ if only he could be here next to me....ahhh... and i remember....last night....when he was half-naked. *BLUSH*!!!! he's so hot and fit!!!! the curve of his shoulders...his strong, muscular arms...and his...his chest is so...toned and sexy!!! last night...i...i....was kissing his neck...and then his chest a little bit...mm...toma really~ liked that...*DIES*!!!! i can't help letting out a soft sigh... goodness, i told myself that i wouldn't think of him in the bath!!! it's already so hot so i can't tell, but i'm sure i'm getting hotter, just thinking about him!! baka, stop it!!! and i sink lower in the water...embarassed!! nanka....it feels as if some women are looking at me funny?? did they hear me??? *BLUSH*!!!!!!! do they know i'm thinking dirty thoughts about him again.... sumimasen! i can't help myself!
and i stare at the hot bath water for a moment....it makes me think of that no doubt song, Bathwater...actually, this song...the lyrics totally makes me think of toma's character, youzou, in ningen shikkaku!! and in a way, it's like, describing toma, too?? lol. i mean, the part where so MANY women want him...!! not the other parts, of course.
"Wanted and adored by attractive women
Bountiful selecton at your discretion
I know i'm diving into my own destruction."
" 'cause i still love to wash in your old bathwather
Love to think that you couldn't love another
I'm on your list with all your other women
But i still love to wash in your old bathwater
You make me feel like i couldn't love another
I can't help it...you're my kind of man.
Why do the good girls...always want the bad boys?"
hmm~ i don't want to wash in toma's old bathwater, i'd rather...i'd love to...take a bath with him... *DIES*!! that's it, i've gotta get out of here!! i quickly grab the small towel from my head to use to cover myself and i get out of the water... i've been here for a long time, anyway. well, so much for being clean and pure!! but 1 out of 2 ain't bad! xD
[http://www.flickr.com/photos/brownie0102/3178575827/in/photostream/
http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/01/51/3f/4c/to-the-hot-baths-one.jpg
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mediatinker/489901243/
the Ooedo-Onsen-Monogatari @Odaiba. i really really wanted us to go to this onsen together, but there's just no time for it, and seems like it's such a popular, crowded place. don't think toma would be comfortable there. probably only possible to go to an onsen with him if it's far away from the city, somewhere nice, in a rural area... but this onsen, it's a big big place, a lot of different baths. of course, men and women have are seperated, but there's a shopping/eating area and outdoors foot bath that men and women can go to together. and everyone's wearing yukatas there. niceeee. well, i guess ppl all wear yukatas at most onsens, though. i already did look up info and pics for this onsen + general info about onsen etiquette, so i might as well share it in the info post below. i'd really like to go to this specific onsen if i ever am in japan, though i'm definitely not the comfortable-being-naked-with-other-women type, but i'd really like to try it...i think it would be a very strange but freeing experience....hmmm..... ~_~]
to be continued...
kyaaaaaaaa!!! more flirting and a quick, sexy flashback ne. xD
i've been listening to Bathwater over and over. lol. "no, i can't help myself"....
ja, until tomorrow...
kyaaaaaaaa!!! more flirting and a quick, sexy flashback ne. xD
i've been listening to Bathwater over and over. lol. "no, i can't help myself"....
ja, until tomorrow...
hi there!
kate desu.
part 27 today.
today makes it the 4th week!
1 month now!! EHHH!!! 0_o
(supposed to be day 28 today,
but cuz i skipped one day...)
so, finally we're at the meiji shrine. you know, i already knew we'd end up here on the last day since the end of jan., and then i used the meiji shrine pic for the banner at Toma Love since feb....it's been a long time coming....but finally i've come to the shrine in my fanfic!!! yey...feels like it's been a long journey to get here....
so, i give toma something...
it's not what you'd expect...~_~
1:43pm @on a train
i'm sitting on the train, going to the meiji shrine. looking at the picture of us sleeping together on my cell phone. though today has been a really happy one for me so far, but as it gets closer and closer to the time to meet toma at the shrine... i get more and more sad....today, it seems like time is passing by so fast!! i can't keep up...please slow down!! i need more time...i need more time... but looking at our picture makes me feel better.
still around 5 minutes till my stop, so i get out my ningen photobook, to look at toma's lovely pictures. ~_~ (23) ah...so kakkoii...but then i come to these 2 pages...! [these 2: http://img693.imageshack.us/img693/2637/fce8f2f8b825713cd8f9fd2.jpg credit: janinamedina.]
EH! i see writing on the bottom of the page. it's toma's writing, of course. below the cute pics of him smiling, right below the picture where he's smiling straight at the camera...at the very bottom, left side of the page...he neatly wrote:
you make me smile~. toma
ahhh....toma!♥ he also wrote this in the theater right then, and i had no idea! he's so sweet!! toma, i love you!!! and that's it...i can't hold it back any longer....i just start crying quietly....i'm so happy, but i'm so sad too.....i don't really care that everyone's looking at me... i close the book and get some tissue from my bag to dab at my eyes...
and i look at the back cover of the book....toma in a lovely green~ forest somewhere in kyoto....ah, kyoto has such pretty scenary. i try to stop crying....wait...last night...when toma was talking about kyoto...i don't remember what he said cuz i was half-asleep but....i think he was trying to tell me something about kyoto. but i was so sleepy....what did he say?? hmmm.....i dab at my eyes again....shoot! i hope my eyes haven't gotten too red...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sevenspotted/3822225841/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gog/5146037/
[more pics of the entrance in the INFO post below!]
2:01pm @the entrance of the meiji shrine
ah, the huge, towering torii (gate/archway) at the entrance of the meiji shrine...so majestic. and there's not much people around. i'm almost exactly on time! ^^ toma's not here yet...i'm glad, cuz i don't want him to know i've been crying...though by now i've calmed down and my eyes aren't red anymore....but somehow, i think he'll be able to tell. it's still quite cold today, but not as freezing as the days before...and most of the snow from yesterday has melted... i start thinking about how i'm going to tell him my BIG NEWS later, and when to tell him....
2:10pm @the entrance of the meiji shrine
i'm still deep in thought, when someone lightly taps me on the shoulder. eh? i turn around. toma!
toma: (smiling, cutely~) doumo! sorry, i'm late.
[toma's wearing a white t-shirt, a hoodie, and a nice jacket over it. i've always loved this look!!♥ oh, and jeans and tennis shoes. kinda like in his new LOTTE ACUO CM! http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4071/4485153927_129c227702_o.png]
me: (smiles) it's ok.
toma: what are you thinking about? u didn't see me at all...
me: ano...i'll tell you later....
toma: (*curious*, nods) mm. (smiles) iko ga?
me: hai~! ^^
we both bow once before entering, passing under the torii....and we walk for a little bit, when i say...
me: toma...
toma: eh?
me: (softly~) ano...your message...i just saw it. in my ningen shikkaku photobook...arigatou~
toma: (sweetly~) ah, you just saw it today? (softly~) you know, i really mean it ne...
me: (*blush*, i look down and smile...softly~) i know...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/227am/455346691/
http://www.flickr.com/search/?w=all&q=meiji+shrine+path&m=text
[meiji shrine path pics.]
ah, i love this quiet, peaceful, long path to the shrine!! surrounded by so many big, gentle trees...it's amazing that a beautiful place like this still exists...it's nothing like the noisy, hyper world just outside. and there's so few people here...it's almost like toma and i get the path to ourselves today. ~_~ and in the especially blue sky above us...some big, soft white clouds are drifting by...there's a cold breeze...but the sunshine is bright and warm. i glance at toma as we're walking side by side...toma has a happy, content look on his face. he's enjoying the peace and quiet here... the light breeze gently blows his soft hair...and in this bright light too, he is just so beautiful~ toma notices me looking at him and smiles sweetly at me...
toma: (sweetly~) nani?
me: (i look away from him, embarassed~) uh...nothing.
toma: (cheerful~) ah...the weather is so nice today, ne?
me: mm! (nods)
toma: (pouts) but it's still so cold...it must be nice to be able to go to the onsen and soak in the hot water. ah, i'm envious~~
me: (gah! toma, please don't mention the onsen!! *blush*!) hai...
toma: (notices my face getting red. he smiles. teasing~) did you really think of me when u were in the bath? yappari...
me: (*BLUSH*!!! stuttering~) ch-chigao!!
toma: (laughs) you totally were!!
me: (i lightly hit him on the arm. *embarassed!* loud whisper~) baka~ be quiet, people will hear you...
that's when we look around. oh... no one here right now except for us...but toma remembers to talk in a quiet voice now....i love his soft, quiet voice...♥
toma: gomen~ (he looks at me lovingly. softly~) but you don't have to be embarassed.....i've been thinking about you a lot today, too...
me: (smiles) toma...
toma: (lightly holds my hand and smiles sweetly~) we'll definitely go to the onsen together next time, ne.
me: (i nod, smiling~) hai!
we look at each other for a moment...and toma gently holds both my hands...he looks down at my left hand, where i'm still wearing the ring he gave me on my ring finger. and he looks back up at me, smiling.
i love this ring so much! and i want to give toma a ring, too. this whole trip...i've been looking for a nice ring to give toma, but i can't seem to find any really nice ones, that aren't too expensive....
me: toma...
toma: (still holding my hands, softly~) hai?
me: gomen...i...i tried to find a nice ring to give you...but i just can't seem to find the right one...
toma: (pouts cutely) daijoubu~
me: (purse my lips) i really want to give you something...so that when i'm not here with you, if you miss me, u can look at it...kedo...
toma: (seeing how serious i am...he thinks for a moment and lets go of my hands. gently~) ja...since that ring i gave u...i already wore it before i gave it to you...why don't you just give me something of yours this time?
me: (i look at him...) eh?
toma: umm...but it's ok if you don't want to.
me: uh...iie, i don't mind, but...(i look in my bag, thinking of what i could possibly give toma. he wouldn't like anything i have in here...)
toma: (quietly~) you don't have to look...i already know what i want...
me: eh?
toma carefully brushes my hair aside...and his fingers lightly brush my collar bone as he lifts out my small necklace from beneath my shirt... ah, toma's light touch...*blush*!
it's a simple, small silver necklace. only a small letter "I" hanging at the end.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/babes_elise/3642110908/
[it might look something like this, but the letter should be smooth and simple, like this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kiasrkid/1885497043/]
or maybe it could look something like this too, a simple circle with letter on it: http://www.flickr.com/photos/littlelambsandivy/4403024130/
toma: i noticed...u have this necklace on all the time. you did not wear it when you were here back in december. and when we were....(*blush*) when we were...in bed, i noticed it again. but...well...i kept forgetting to ask you about it afterwards...
me: (*blush*!!, softly~) sou desu...i bought it in january...nani? what did you want to ask me...
toma: is this...a small "l" or a capital "i"? but either way...your first and last names both don't start with those letters... [even if your name does start with those letters, just pretend it doesn't. lol.]
me: (looking down...softly~) it's an "i".
toma: (shyly~) nande... (he smiles sweetly, already pretty sure of the reason, but he wants to make sure...)
me: (shyly) an "I"...as in, "Ikuta"...because i hope one day....
yes, it's toma's initial. but ....ever since december...i already know....i'm sure i want to be his wife. to be mrs. ikuta someday....dakara....
toma: (quietly) wakkata...(purses his lips and shyly looks down...quietly~) i thought so...(and he looks back up at me and smiles so cutely....) so...can i have it? (he's playfully tugging at the necklace, holding on to the "I")
me: (smiles) of course! (ah, i'll kinda miss it, but then knowing that toma will be wearing it and thinking of me....ahhh. ~_~)
toma: (smiles cutely, gently) arigatou~
he smiles and leans closer to me, reaching behind my neck to undo the clasp...ahhh...our faces so close...*blush*!! and he takes the necklace from my neck, but he lingers for a moment, gazing at me... we look at each other....our lips almost touching...i almost close my eyes! but then toma remembers where we are....and quickly pulls back.
to be continued...
ah, giving him my necklace!! sweet.....and i love how toma notices little things like this....how i wear the necklace a lot...
but u know...i'm starting to get really sad, it's going to really end soon. i've spent so much time on this fanfic this time!!! it's been....since january. so...almost 3 months, i've worked on this story (on and off)!!!!!!!! EHHHHHHHH!!! and yet, all this is happening in only like, 4 days, in the fanfic!! x'D
sometimes, i find myself replaying all the sweet and special moments in this fanfic, in my head....it feels like a movie, really. lol.... or actually, more like i'm seeing an MV made f/the best moments in my movie. lol!! does that make any sense??!
i'm still WAITING~ to have a sweet dream about toma and i...like, see a part f/my fanfic in my dream!!!!
i think i can't update tomorrow probably.
but i'll update on sunday!! please look forward to it~!
yoroshiku~ ^.^
(2010 april 4)
hi hi!
i'm sorry....
having a little trouble writing this next part....
will have to wait till tomorrow to update! but it's the ending after all, so i don't want to rush it. and i want you to know....i will not write the goodbye scene at the airport, u can imagine it yourselves. lol. the story will end at the meiji shrine. just so u know....sorry, but i hate having to say goodbye to him, i'd much rather end the story while we're still together ne!
but i'm posting up random thoughts about my fanfic and some pics to show u the "making of" the fanfic, so please do check it out!! arigatou~. (there are no spoilers. ^^) http://andonthatrainyday.blogspot.com/2010/03/kates-writing-process-notes-and-pics.html
and Happy Easter of course!! but there was an earthquake today!! in mexico, but we felt it here too. it only shook a little, but that swinging motion lasted a long while. it scared me, but it made me think of my fanfic!! hiding under the table with toma. xD i think i'm not as scared of earthquakes now, cuz it makes me think of toma??? ehhhhhh....
*******************************************
oh, i have a QUESTION FOR EVERYONE....did u feel like....like it was you with toma all this time in this fanfic...or did it feel more like it's kate with toma? i hope u really felt like you're really there with toma. though i know i unconsciously write us doing things that are kate-like sometimes. haha. gomen...
*********************************
OH, forgot to talk about it, but i really liked the part where toma wrote "you make me smile~" in the photobook too. sweet!! and especially cuz i have this photobook myself....♥
and.
ano....i'm sorry about the continuous flirting and almost~ moments between us back in the hotel room...looking back, i think it might have been too much, or a little out of character (on my/toma's part)?? lol. but...it...it felt right at the time i was writing...and i dunno when i'll write the next fanfic....probably not for a looooooong time, so i wanted to make sure....we can have some really...unforgettable moments together in this fanfic!! and i guess that dream was to make up for all the almost~ moments, too....at least we finally did...if only in a dream. BUT it wasn't all just us wanting~ each other...some really sweet moments, too, in the hotel room. i really liked these moments:
-him taking care of me when i'm sick/afraid of the earthquake
-his kinda proposal!! (about living in kyoto)
-he tucks me in...saying he loves me...nuzzling, cuddling be4 we sleep
-waking toma up...he's cranky but still so cute when he doesn't wanna wake up yet. and waking him up with a kiss...is that not the best way to wake toma up??? ~_~
ok, that's all for tonight.
please come back for the update tomorrow (i'm pretty sure i'll be able to finish writing the next part by tomorrow...lol.)!!
good night, everyone~~
kate.
hi hi!
i'm sorry....
having a little trouble writing this next part....
will have to wait till tomorrow to update! but it's the ending after all, so i don't want to rush it. and i want you to know....i will not write the goodbye scene at the airport, u can imagine it yourselves. lol. the story will end at the meiji shrine. just so u know....sorry, but i hate having to say goodbye to him, i'd much rather end the story while we're still together ne!
but i'm posting up random thoughts about my fanfic and some pics to show u the "making of" the fanfic, so please do check it out!! arigatou~. (there are no spoilers. ^^) http://andonthatrainyday.blogspot.com/2010/03/kates-writing-process-notes-and-pics.html
and Happy Easter of course!! but there was an earthquake today!! in mexico, but we felt it here too. it only shook a little, but that swinging motion lasted a long while. it scared me, but it made me think of my fanfic!! hiding under the table with toma. xD i think i'm not as scared of earthquakes now, cuz it makes me think of toma??? ehhhhhh....
*******************************************
oh, i have a QUESTION FOR EVERYONE....did u feel like....like it was you with toma all this time in this fanfic...or did it feel more like it's kate with toma? i hope u really felt like you're really there with toma. though i know i unconsciously write us doing things that are kate-like sometimes. haha. gomen...
*********************************
OH, forgot to talk about it, but i really liked the part where toma wrote "you make me smile~" in the photobook too. sweet!! and especially cuz i have this photobook myself....♥
and.
ano....i'm sorry about the continuous flirting and almost~ moments between us back in the hotel room...looking back, i think it might have been too much, or a little out of character (on my/toma's part)?? lol. but...it...it felt right at the time i was writing...and i dunno when i'll write the next fanfic....probably not for a looooooong time, so i wanted to make sure....we can have some really...unforgettable moments together in this fanfic!! and i guess that dream was to make up for all the almost~ moments, too....at least we finally did...if only in a dream. BUT it wasn't all just us wanting~ each other...some really sweet moments, too, in the hotel room. i really liked these moments:
-him taking care of me when i'm sick/afraid of the earthquake
-his kinda proposal!! (about living in kyoto)
-he tucks me in...saying he loves me...nuzzling, cuddling be4 we sleep
-waking toma up...he's cranky but still so cute when he doesn't wanna wake up yet. and waking him up with a kiss...is that not the best way to wake toma up??? ~_~
ok, that's all for tonight.
please come back for the update tomorrow (i'm pretty sure i'll be able to finish writing the next part by tomorrow...lol.)!!
good night, everyone~~
kate.
konbanwa!
i'm here!
sorry for skipping 2 days in a row this time.
this is part 28!
(hai, i'm 28 now.
2 yrs older than toma.)
and we're at the shrine now.... ~_~
i don't remember all the shrine etiquette, but toma doesn't mind ne...
we both look down...a little embarassed. we can't possibly kiss here!! (>///<) it would be...disrespectful and anyone could see us....and then toma holds up the necklace and looks at it... toma: (he looks at me and smiles) kawaii ne... and toma puts the necklace on. he looks down once more at the "I" as he's holding it, before he carefully tucks the necklace under his t-shirt. toma: (looks at me lovingly...quietly) i won't be able to wear it all the time...but whenever i wear it, i'll feel like you're here with me... me: (softly~) hai... toma: (sweetly~) of course, i can wear it to sleep every night, though... me: (*blush* then it'll be like...i'm there in bed with him each night. ~_~ ahhhhh. I nod.) mm... toma: but...whenever you come visit me....you can wear it again. we can...share this necklace ne~ me: (ah, he's so sweet!! i nod.) hai...i'd like that~
Toma looks at me intently for a moment, as if there's many more things he wants to tell me....but then other people are showing up on the path... so he just smiles and continues walking....i just look at him casually walking away for a moment, before i catch up with him and we're walking side by side again...ah, i even love the way he walks. ~_~ we walk in silence for the rest of the path, partly cuz there are other people around, and partly because we're just happy enough, walking beside each other in such a lovely, solemn place. and the trees whisper around us....(25) and i find myself touching the ring that he gave me...ah, i'm sure toma will treasure my necklace as much as i treasure this ring. kitto!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jpellgen/2382795835/in/set-72157604361468999/ [approaching the main shrine] http://www.flickr.com/photos/jpellgen/2383640752/in/set-72157604361468999/ [main shrine] http://www.flickr.com/photos/kalavinka/273481553/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/jpellgen/2383657682/in/set-72157604361468999/ [tsukubai, purification fountains. this place has a lot of diff names for it?? hmm.]
a while later, we reach entrance of the shrine...~_~ but we have to cleanse ourselves first...we walk over to the purification fountain. there's some other people using it...i know there's a certain way we're supposed to rinse our hands and mouth, but i forgot the steps. this is only my 2nd time here! there's a sign explaining the steps, but some people are crowded around it, and i can't see it. so i watch toma as he rinses his hands, and i just copy what he does. xD toma notices me mimicking him and smiles. he does it slower and waits for me on each step. [the steps are listed here, at meiji shrine's official website: http://www.meijijingu.or.jp/english/your/1.html] after we're done, toma keeps looking at me and smiling as i rub my wet hands on my jeans and then together, to warm them up. the water's so cold!! and we're walking away from the fountain. no one around us right now... me: (i look at him and can't help smiling too, though i dunno why he's smiling...softly~) nani? toma: ii ne...i think it's cute that you are always trying to properly do things...you're really mindful of our etiquette and customs. me: (smile) of course...i don't want to be rude ne. toma: (nods) mm...(he looks at me, sweetly) you still have a lot to learn, but i'll help you.... me: (ah, please do, sempai! lol. i smile and nod.) hai~ arigatou! toma: (smiles and lightly pats me on the head, quietly~) soshitte...when you feel you're confident, that u know all the proper manners...maybe then i can take you home and introduce you to my parents. (24.5)
EHHHHHH!!!!
i expect him to start laughing and say he's just kidding or something. but toma just looks at me lovingly and smiles....he's completely serious!!! i...i'm so happy that he is already thinking about introducing me to his parents in the future!! that he really believes in us and so he is willing to tell his family about me. by then, at least his parents and brother can know we're together....right now, our relationship's a secret from everyone....i can't even think of anything else to say right now except...
me: (softly~) hounto ni?
toma: (nods and purses his lips) mm~
me: (suddenly self-conscious, i look down...quietly) but....will they mind that i'm....that i'm not japanese... [if u are japanese, replace this part with, "that i didn't grow up in japan." =P]
toma: (he stops walking and smiles so sweetly at me, and firmly holds me by one shoulder...quietly~) how could they not like you? and they won't mind where you're from... as long as their son loves you, then they will too. don't worry ne~
i gaze at him, so touched at his words...tears well up in my eyes...i can only nod and smile at him. toma sees that i'm almost going to cry again and has a worried look on his face...
toma: (softly) don't cry...you can't cry today...it's your last day here. i only want to see you smiling and happy today ne...
me: (i wipe away tears from my eyes with my hand...trying to not cry...quietly~) hai...
but toma...i'm sure i'll cry later....
gomen...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jpellgen/sets/72157604361468999/
http://www.travbuddy.com/travel-blogs/15899/Meiji-Shrine-1
[SETs of meiji shrinE pics!! LOVELY!!!
AND WITH NICE DESCRIPTIONS/explanations UNDER THE PICS!!]
we wander around the beautiful and quiet shrine for a while....i take some pictures...we go in some of the buildings....it's so quiet here. i only hear the sound of birds chirping and the leaves rustling in the wind...ii ne.....and then we go to the area where people can pray or make a wish. we wait till there's no one there and then come over to make a wish...
http://i508.photobucket.com/albums/s322/ilovetoma2/voice-%20screencaps/13ep8.png
[toma in VOICE. omamori (amulets) + praying at the shrine]
me: (hesitant) toma...i forgot again, how do you...
toma: (cutely pouts~) i'll go first. just do what i do ne.
i nod. toma gets some coins from his bag and puts it in the offering box. he bows twice. claps his hand twice. and he closes his eyes, his hands together, a serious look on his face.... ah, kakkoii..... [he looks like this right now...~_~ http://i508.photobucket.com/albums/s322/ilovetoma2/voice-%20screencaps/TimeLesSub-GiriGiriVOICEEp08SDD8-4.jpg]
and soon, toma opens his eyes, bows once. he's done. i wonder what he wished for.....toma looks at me, tilts his head towards the box, gesturing it's my turn. hai...i nod and put some coins in the offering box and bow twice. clap twice. and i close my eyes...
ja...i can't think of anything else that i want more...i wish that toma and i can always be together~. for the rest of our lives. please don't let anything break us apart. there's no one that i love more than him...
and i suddenly feel toma's touch...he's lightly touching my arm. ah, when toma unexpectedly touches me, it still makes my heart skip a beat! and he whispers in my ear...
toma: i'll be right back, i've got to answer a phone call...
me: (i open my eyes and nod...) mm.
toma smiles and walks a bit far away, so he can answer the call without bothering anyone around here. i bow once to finish...but since toma kinda interrupted me...just in case, i do it over. lol. and i stand there, looking at him from afar... wondering what he wished for....and soon toma has finished talking and we start to walk towards each other...
toma: ah, my little brother was just wondering where i was...
me: souka.
toma: (smiles) hmm...u seemed to be concentrating really hard when you were making your wish. what did you wish for?
me: (i look down, embarassed...) ano...
toma: (gently~) ah, you made a wish about us, ne?
me: (softly~) hai...
toma: (smiles sweetly. gently~) ore mou~.
ah...i have a feeling....that our wishes are very similar or even...the same...♥
TO BE CONTINUED....
(AGAIN, SORRY ABOUT THE TEXT BEING SQUISHED TOGETHER. HOPEFULLY MY COLOR-CODING IT HELPS U READ IT OK.....my post is getting so long, problems starting to occur. i dunno if blogger has a limit to how long a post can be, but i think i'm close to reaching it. lol. good thing my story is ending soon. i really didn't expect it to be this long, or i would've gotten a PART 3 post....sorry....)
wow, this is all new stuff i just wrote today!! it's feels really~ nice and fresh.... lol. i'm really happy and relieved i was able to come up with some more sweet moments....whew!
ahhh. toma's already talking about me meeting his parents in the future!! of course, it's not gonna be anytime soon, though...it's like, his way of telling me how important i am to him....how serious our relationship is, that he's already thinking of that... ~_~
and TOMORROW.......
is
possibly
the
last
part
of
my
fanfic.... =,(
i'll really miss it (and reading all yr comments here).
this fanfic has been like a long long journey for me......there were a lot of highs, a lot of lows...i felt so many different emotions...it made me cry, made me sad, made me laugh, made me feel loved~, made me hot~, made me smile, made me proud.......and there were some really touching moments...that really made me feel so happy....it was overwhelming....it was really amazing, how writing this fanfic brought out all these feelings in me....
i hope everyone who read this fanfic also feel the same way as i do...or at least, somewhat? kinda? haha.
*****************
hmmm.....i'll wait to see what everyone else says. but after knowing how paige feels...it makes me think....if many ppl see it as kate + toma anyway....then shouldn't i just make it about me and toma for the next fanfic?? lol. it'd be so much simpler. then i don't have to worry about toma not saying my name and writing extra stuff so that each person can personalize the story. i already barely write those extra stuff, in this fanfic.
and i'm sure everyone can still enjoy the fanfic, even if you're not the main character, so to speak....
BUT PLEASE, DO LET ME KNOW, WHAT YOU THINK (let's take a vote!)....DO YOU SEE YRSELF AS THE "ME" IN THIS FANFIC, OR IS IT MORE LIKE YOU'RE SEEING THE "ME" AS BEING KATE? AND, DO YOU MIND IF IN THE NEXT FANFIC, I JUST STOP WRITING IT AS IF THE "ME" IS ANYONE, AND JUST MAKE THAT "ME" PERSON = KATE? or do u not care at all, and are not even reading this?? lol. then u don't get to vote. LOL. (well, the next fanfic, it won't be for a longgggg time....but i'd like to know now....=)
please let me know and comment below!
onegaishimasu!
I'M SLEEPY.
GOOD NIGHT!!
KATE.
********************************
hi, everyone!
it's kate.
hmm....so i guess mostly everyone (including me~) has been feeling that this is kate + toma's story. baka...i should have just made the transition earlier, since i also felt this way....since the 2nd fanfic, it was already less "we" and more "kate". oh well. lol. it doesn't matter...as long as you still like reading my fanfic, i'm happy. ~_~
but in the next fanfic, i think it'll feel more lonely.....cuz it's really just me + toma. but i guess it's been only me for a long time now, i just didn't really realize it/didn't want to admit it? and u know, even i don't think of the "me" in this fanfic as being myself sometimes. lol. xD i guess it's like 40% real kate and 60% fantasy kate? hmmm..... though just a few of u commented so far, i think most of u will say the same thing...
93 COMMENTS NOW!♥ i hope i can reach at least 100!! yoroshiku onegaishimas!!
TONIGHT'S NOT THE END YET. (whew!)
but tomorrow, it should be...but i'm glad i can end it with an even number. part 30 tomorrow....don't miss it!!
tonight is part 29.
making wishes, buying amulets...romantic! xD
it's kate.
hmm....so i guess mostly everyone (including me~) has been feeling that this is kate + toma's story. baka...i should have just made the transition earlier, since i also felt this way....since the 2nd fanfic, it was already less "we" and more "kate". oh well. lol. it doesn't matter...as long as you still like reading my fanfic, i'm happy. ~_~
but in the next fanfic, i think it'll feel more lonely.....cuz it's really just me + toma. but i guess it's been only me for a long time now, i just didn't really realize it/didn't want to admit it? and u know, even i don't think of the "me" in this fanfic as being myself sometimes. lol. xD i guess it's like 40% real kate and 60% fantasy kate? hmmm..... though just a few of u commented so far, i think most of u will say the same thing...
93 COMMENTS NOW!♥ i hope i can reach at least 100!! yoroshiku onegaishimas!!
TONIGHT'S NOT THE END YET. (whew!)
but tomorrow, it should be...but i'm glad i can end it with an even number. part 30 tomorrow....don't miss it!!
tonight is part 29.
making wishes, buying amulets...romantic! xD
but i want to make another wish, this time by writing it on the ema (wish) board, so we head over to the "divine tree". all the ema are hung around it... and i'm starting to get this heavy~, sad~ feeling....we have been at the shrine quite a while now....it's almost time to leave....for toma to take me back to the hotel to get my things and then head to the airport....i glance at toma as we're walking...i think toma is thinking about this too, because he's staring off into space...a serious and sad look on his face...
me: (gently~) toma?
toma: (he turns and looks at me) hmm?
me: daijoubu ka? you're all spaced out...
toma: (tries to act like nothing's wrong...he smiles) daijoubu...i was just thinking about something...(he doesn't wait for my reply, and quickly runs over to the divine tree, paying the person for 2 ema boards for us to write our wishes on...)
toma.....
but i don't ask him anything more and i try to cheer up, too...
http://www.travbuddy.com/travel-blogs/15899/photos/view/1/11
[info about the EMA boards! cost, how the process works...]
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gewitterhexer/3424694743/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gewitterhexer/3424690081/in/photostream/
[the divine tree + ema...]
3:39pm @the divine tree
toma and i stand near each other at the small, narrow tables to write down our wishes. there's only some older people around us who pay no attention to toma [like everyone else. lol. no one ever notices him right? xD at least not when i'm with him.] ... i think for a moment, about how i should write my wish.... i look at toma. he has a serious, thoughtful look on his face as he's writing his wish. kakkoii...i look back down at my blank ema board and start writing down my wish. when i'm done, i look up and see toma smiling at me. ~_~ i smile back at him~ and we hang up our ema boards, right next to each other.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mtnbiker404/1190536274/in/set-72157601449156585/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/neverbird/4000508009/ [by nighttime]
[wish boards]
i wrote:
I wish that Ningen Shikkaku will be a huge success. and that toma will win an award for his role as oba youzou. he truly deserves it. and because i love him and i want him to be happy. zutto~
toma wrote:
i wish that i can celebrate my birthday with my girlfriend this year.♥
we read each others' wishes....toma lightly touches my ema tablet...he purses his lips and smiles sweetly at me...
toma: (touched~) arigatou ne.
i smile sweetly at him too...i look at his wish again...ahhhh. i would love to celebrate your birthday with you, toma!! and i also want to celebrate my next birthday with you....
toma: (lightly touches my arm, quietly~) do you think my wish can come true?
me: (i look at him and smile. softly~) even if you're busy working that day...she will surely come and wait for you. even if she has to wait all day to celebrate with you...
toma: (he pouts cutely~) ureshiiiii.
ahhh, he's so adorable!!♥ i can't wait till his birthday... and toma looks around...well, there's only one place left that we haven't gone to...
toma: (cheerful) ja, let's go buy some omamori (amulets)!
me: (cheerful) hai!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lichuan_owen/2238801231/
[buy charms and good luck, good health, etc. amulets here]
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ancientsuns/2586535196/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/potatowned/3331699993/
[amulets...]
some info about omamori:
http://starlightsplashsplash.blogspot.com/2008/07/omamori.html
and so, we come over to some tables where they sell them...(only one old women sitting there, selling them)...so many different charms and amulets for sale....ii ne... i know exactly what i want to buy for myself and for toma...both of us reach towards the koutsu anzen (protection for travelers), and our hands touch...we look at each other and laugh. ~_~ i pull my hand back, and toma gets one for me.
toma: (smiles) so that you can fly back safely ne~
me: (i nod and smile) mm...
and i get one Shiawasemamori (for happiness) and one kanai anzen (good health) for him.
me: (i look at him, sweetly~) i want you to be happy and healthy, always!
toma: (smiles, sweetly~) i want you to be happy and healthy too, ne~ (and toma gets one of each too, for me.)
and i...i see that one...Enmusubi (for singles and couples to ensure love and marriage). i pick up one and glance at toma....toma shyly looks down. and then he reaches for the one too...but seeing the obachan (old lady/grandma) look at me, then at him and smiling....he pauses and pulls back a little...and she looks at the omamori nearest to his hand and picks it up, handing it to him.
obachan: (smiling) douzo.
toma politely takes it, but then toma and i notice the omamori she gave him is....
EHHHH!!
(>////<) she handed him the...the....Anzan! protection for pregnant women. toma and i are *BLUSHing* so much right now!!! toma: (hands it back to her, embarassed~) uh...iie...i...i want this one. (he picks up one of the Enmusubi) obachan: (she looks at me and smiles) your boyfriend is so shy ne~ *blush*!! i smile at her and glance at toma...toma looks down and blushes even more...i wait for him to say something like "she's not my girlfriend" or "you've misunderstood, we're just friends"........but he doesn't!! for the first time ever, toma is....silently admitting we're a couple???
EHHHHHH???
i keep staring at him, so shocked! ...and toma smiles at her and pays for all of our omamori, and says thank you to the obachan and bows...i'm still frozen in place....toma takes a few steps before he notices i'm still standing there....he turns around and walks back over to me....
toma: (he looks at me lovingly. sweetly~) what are you standing here for, come on...it's time to go.
and toma...holds my hand!!! and gently pulls me away...he doesn't let go until we reach a little, quiet, hidden corner of the shrine...no one else around us....
he puts the health, happiness, safe travel, and love omamori in my hands, putting the rest in his bag. i put them away in my bag...
me: (softly) toma....nande? ii no ka? letting her know we're...
toma: (he smiles and lightly strokes my hair...quietly) daijoubu. she doesn't know who i am...she won't tell anyone...
me: (i smile and lightly hold on to his arm...really quietly~) ureshii....finally, someone knows that i'm your girlfriend...
toma: (nods and purses his lips~) mm...
we look at each other... and a gentle breeze makes the leaves rustle...and it plays with toma's hair... i brush his bangs back in place for him....and...i really want to hug him right now! i know it's risky to hug him here, but....i think toma is feeling the same way...because he's looking intently at me...and he lightly touches my waist....
but then, my phone starts vibrating....it's the alarm. toma pulls back... an alarm to remind me when it's time to leave the shrine. i turn it off and look at toma...
me: (sadly~) gomen...we should get going...
toma: (he looks sad, but nods...quietly) wakkata...
to be continued...
ah, that really is my wish for toma!! i really hope it will come true!! and toma's wish. ~_~ maybe fanfic #4 will come in october?? hmm~ xD
toma...LOL. that was embarassing!! the omamori for pregnant women.(>////<) we haven't...gotten that far yet!! good grief! after we're married i guess we'll need that omamori eventually, but not now!!
another BIG STEP!! toma doesn't deny that i'm his girlf!!! GAH!! *__*
hmm...i know this all (the progression of our relationship) seems to be happening quite fast in this fanfic, since we've only been dating ~2 months (and it's been a long distance relationship, too!). but remember, i've liked him for many years, and we've kept in touch for a whole year....and we just have this...connection. remember how i said we feel like we get along so well and like we've known each other for all our lives? something like that... ~_~
yabun, sumimasen! i seem to update so late all the time these days...and this fanfic has made me lose a lot of sleep. lol. i really have been sleeping around 5 or 5.5. hrs many days, since March...but it's all worth it, really!! sometimes i feel like sleep is overrated. lol. but i know, i know...i'll try to get at least 6 hrs of sleep after i'm done w/this fanfic...
minna-chan,
ja ne!
sweet dreams~~
kate♥
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
-----------
part 30.
the ending.
*cries*
but this is not really goodbye, toma...
(thanks! but no time to read the new comments, i'll respond to them tomorrow!)
------------------
ENTRANCE of meiji shrine as leaving (looking back out on path):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/vfowler/153596362/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jimmyharris/3373264141/
and so we slowly walk towards the entrance of the shrine.....both of us silent...knowing that after this, there's only a quick trip to the hotel, and then the airport, where we'll eventually have to part ways....but really....most of our time here has been happy and sweet....i'm glad the beautiful and peaceful meiji jingu shrine could be the last place we go to together....
and after thinking it over quite a lot....i think i'll wait till we go back to my hotel room to get my things, and then tell him the big news there. i want to...i should tell him when we're alone. because i'm sure we'll both get very emotional....
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jbridgman/3943696248/[the path again...]
and now we're walking on that same quiet, long path again. and we're alone again....just us and the tall, old trees of the forest, looking down on us....toma has a gloomy look on his face, and he absentmindedly holds the "I" of our necklace...sliding it back and forth on the chain...
it hurts me to see him sad like this....i try to think of something to say...to break this uncomfortable silence...
me: ano...
toma: (he stops fidgeting with the necklace and looks at me) eh?
me: (i smile, trying to be cheerful) isn't it funny? the first person that knows about us...is an obachan we don't know!! but at least she seems like such a nice and sweet old lady.
toma: (looks down, nervous/embarassed~) hmm~
me: eh? (his reaction... is she not the first??)
toma: (quietly~) actually....she's not the first to know...
me: EH???
toma: (nervously scratches behind his ear...) uh...ryuusei....my brother...he knows about us...
me: (EHHHH!!! o_0) nande?? how did he...
toma: mm...he saw your boots at the doorway on that rainy day....and after his bath, he asked me why i had a girl hiding in my room and....i...i had to tell him.
me: souka...(baka! if only i had worn tennis shoes that day...less noticeable! i look down...) it's my fault...
toma: (pats me on the back, gently~) no, don't say that. i...i was thinking about telling him anyway...but just that i wanted to wait until.... but don't worry. i trust him. he won't tell anyone! (he looks down...) gomen, i should have told you earlier, but...i didn't want you to worry about it...
me: (purse my lips, quietly~) no.....i'm actually happy that at least your brother knows about us now. it feels nice...like we can finally share our happiness with another person now....
toma: (smiles) hai...finally, i could tell someone about you....(he looks at me lovingly) about how cute and sweet you are ne...
me: (*blush*!! i look down, softly~) sou deska? ano...does he know what i look like? did you show him...
toma: no, i didn't. i wanted to ask you first... but he really wants to meet you....he called a while ago, asking where we were. umm...he kinda made me promise to introduce you to him the next time you come. (nervous laugh)
me: hai, of course u can show him my picture... ehhhh...hounto ni?
toma: ano....it's ok, if you don't want to meet him yet....
me: (i smile, quietly~) no...i want to meet him...it's not like i'm meeting your parents...just your brother, i can handle, i think....(laughs) and...i've always wondered what your brother looks like....
toma: (pouts cutely~) well...he looks like me, but just not as cute! (laughs)
we both laugh...~_~ and it makes me happy to see toma's smile again....i want to see him smiling and laughing more today...
me: toma, could you show me a picture of him?? i'm really curious, what your brother looks like...
toma: hai~ (he stops walking and gets out his phone and finds a pic of ryuusei...and he shows me the screen...)
it's a cute pic of toma and ryuusei, from their trip to hawaii. they're at a beautiful beach...ah, he's a good-looking guy!! he does look a lot like toma...but of course, toma's right. lol. toma's definitely more handsome!! xD
me: kawaii...he does look a lot like you ne.
toma: (smiles) of course!
me: (still looking at the picture, curious~) he must be really popular with the girls, too...he's really cute. do you have any other pictures of him?
toma: (he puts away his phone and puts one arm around my shoulder, looking at me, pouting. jealous~) you know, you shouldn't keep saying that another guy is cute right in front of your boyfriend...
me: ehh...but he's your little brother!
toma: (he frowns) even so...he's still a guy....
me: (i look at him...ah, he's so cute when he's jealous!! i smile~) wakkata. gomen ne. (laughs)
toma: (smiles) it's ok. i guess...(he looks down, embarassed, quietly~) i guess...i just get jealous easily. you have this effect on me...
me: (i look at him...softly~) toma... ~_~
toma: (he pulls me a little closer to him...gently~) i feel like...it's like...i don't want to share you with anyone....
me: (softly~) toma....i feel the same way about you...
and we look at each other lovingly...both so happy...that we can be together right now, at this moment. we...belong together. we...need each other. and we keep looking at each other...until toma finally lets go of me...
toma: (reluctantly~, quietly~) we should keep going ne...
me: (i nod, reluctantly~) mm...
we walk in silence for a while...ahhh...the fresh cold air and the warm, gentle evening sunlight.....but this heavy feeling is weighing me down again. i can't help feeling sad, though i told myself that i had to be strong, try not to cry....but, it's so hard to do!!
these past few days have truly been amazing. the first time i'm visiting him after we've become a couple (for around 2 months now)....everything that happened between us, everything we shared.....these memories will never fade! never. these last few days.....have been the happiest in my life!! completely...
but i can't believe i have to leave really soon!! i have to leave toma and tokyo behind...i love toma so much!! and tokyo too...i don't want to go. can't i stay for a while longer......
i look at toma again...that sad look on his face! usually, i'd do anything to make him smile again....to not have to see him unhappy....but right now....i can't really do anything...and i just hurt so much when i see him sad like this!
i wish we could go back to that day, february 18, the first day i was here. and it makes me think of that song...
nobody said it was easy,
it's such a shame for us to part...
nobody said it was easy,
no one ever said it would be this hard...
oh, take me back to the start...
(coldplay's The Scientist)
and everything that's happened these days....those most precious moments...i see them all in my mind again.........toma carried me to his room...we said "aishiteru" to each other for the first time...we cried together on ningen shikkaku's premiere night...and that night, we almost....and then we watched toma's first movie together....we walked and played in the snow together...and then in my hotel room that night, toma took care of me during the earthquake and when i got a stomach ache. and of course, we almost...almost......and then there's the many other sweet little moments that we shared.....so many heartwarming moments!!
tears well up in my eyes...and i have a knot in my stomach...but i try to fight back the tears....i quickly wipe some tears away from my eyes with my hand. this sad, heavy~ feeling!! it's been getting stronger. and i notice....i'm literally heavy, right now, too. *sigh*, i wish i hadn't brought all these things with me! still walking, i take off my bag and switch sides, so i'm carrying it with my other shoulder.
toma: (looks at me) your bag looks heavy. (he notices my red eyes, but he doesn't say anything about it, knowing it would only make me more upset...)
me: (i nod) sou desu.
toma: chotto...(he stops walking, and i do too.)
toma takes a step in front of me and swiftly takes my bag, putting it over his shoulder. he smiles at me and then keeps walking.
toma.......the tears come again...everything is getting blurry...when he does these simple, sweet things for me! this is why i love him....
i can't hold back the tears any longer...i collapse on the ground and just start crying, covering my mouth with one hand...hearing me cry, toma immediately turns around and rushes back over to me...
toma: (he kneels down next to me and puts one arm around me, worried~) doushitta?
i just keep crying, using my sleeve to wipe away the tears that are streaming down my face....toma holds me closer, and asks me again gently, "what's wrong?" (though he can probably guess the reason.) i just keep shaking my head....i can't even talk right now...toma looks around...
toma: (quietly~) try to calm down.... there's some people coming...
i cling to toma tightly and keep crying...seeing that i'm not gonna stop, toma carefully breaks away from my hug and holds my hand, leading me off the path, into the refuge of the forest.....it's quite shady here, because of the thick canopy of the trees around us...but still enough weak sunlight shining through so that we're not too cold. if i wasn't so sad and crying so hard, i would think that this is a very nice and romantic place to spend some time with toma....
once we're a little far from the path and no one can see or hear us, toma quickly drops our bags on the ground and hugs me tight. and i cling to him again, still crying hard...
toma: (gently~) please stop crying...tell me what's wrong.
me: (i finally manage to say...) i...i don't want to go yet.
toma is silent for a long while, and i keep crying...
toma: (quietly, firmly~) don't go. (he hugs me tighter) stay here with me.
toma....!!
i'm so shocked to hear him say this, i stop crying. i...i don't know what to say....how can i possibly respond to his heartfelt request with anything but "yes, i'll stay"?? especially when i, myself, want to stay here with him so badly, too!! but i know i can't do that.... toma notices i've stopped crying....he lets go of me and looks at me lovingly....but then he realizes what he just said...and how i look so conflicted and sad...and he comes to his senses.....
toma: (gently holds me by the shoulders, quietly~) but of course you can't ...i understand. i can't just expect you to forget about everything else and stay here with me for a while longer...
me: (softly~) toma....
toma: (he smiles and lets go of me...he takes a few steps away from me and leans on a tree. trying to cheer up~) i...i had a dream last night. it was such a silly, but sweet dream... i dreamt that you somehow moved to an apartment in the same building as my family's. and we got to see each other everyday! we were so happy~ you were living on the 4th floor, right below us. every morning, you woke up really early to see me off. you would give me a bento you made for me and kiss me goodbye...
me: (toma...what a lovely dream!! tears well up in my eyes again...)
toma: and every night, no matter how busy i am, i'd come by your place to see you. so that we can just talk for a little bit. and sometimes, when i just want to be with you...i would call and ask if i can come over late at night. and we would sleep together...i sleep so much better when you're right beside me. (he smiles sweetly at me)
me: (toma......i've got to tell him now! i can't wait any longer. he's got to know!)
toma: and we also tried cooking together at your place. you're not a very good cook, kedo, we had fun cooking together because-
i rush over to him, giving him a big hug, interrupting him. and i hold him by the shoulders, looking straight at him...
me: (quietly, seriously~) toma, i need to tell you something...
toma: (seeing how serious i look...he's surprised, and only nods.)
me: (i let go of him, but we're still standing close) i'm sorry...i should have told you this sooner, but i wanted to wait until the last day to tell you...
toma: (concerned~) what is it?
me: (the suspense is killing me...i'll just say it!! quietly~) i...i'm going to move to japan. to kyoto. (28)
toma's eyes widen, his mouth slightly open in shock...he just stands there for a moment, frozen in place. and then he holds me by the shoulders, wanting to make sure...
toma: (softly~) hounto ni? you're really serious?? (tears well up in his eyes...)
me: (seeing him like this, i get teary-eyed too...softly~) toma, it's true....(i nod) it's true.
toma looks at me and smiles so sweetly. he hugs me tightly... i hold on to him too, and we're both shaking a little. i try to keep from crying again, or else i won't be able to properly speak and explain to him what happened...
toma: (*sniffs* softly~) ureshii. (he hugs me tighter...)
and i know i've made the right decision, because...in toma's arms...i...i forget about everything else...and all i want to do right now is hug him back tightly, to keep him warm...to be so close to him, i can feel his heartbeat........but suddenly, toma pushes me away!
toma: (tears still in his eyes, angry~) nande?! why didn't you tell me sooner!! (27.5)
me: (yappe! he's never gotten this angry with me before! i hold on to his arm...) i'm sorry! toma, i thought it'd be better if i waited...(toma looks mad, but then he can't help smiling at me...)
toma: (grabs me and kisses me repeatedly, softly, on my cheeks, and once on my lips~ and he looks at me sweetly~) yokkata...
me: (*blush*!! gently~) i...i just thought you'd be really sad today, and so i wanted to save this good news for later today...
toma: (he pouts cutely...but then he slaps me on the arm, scolding~) still...you should have told me earlier!!
me: (toma, that hurt!) gomen! gomen! next time, i'll tell you right away!
toma: (he smiles and gently rubs my arm where he slapped me just now...quietly~) gomen ne~
me: daijoubu... (it's already stopped hurting, especially with toma rubbing it for me. ~_~ now i don't know what to expect...is he gonna yell again, or what...he keeps switching?? lol.)
toma: (sees that i'm afraid he'll yell again...he reassures me he's not mad anymore by giving me a tender hug...ahhhh. and then he lets go, looking at me lovingly, quietly~) when did you decide to move to kyoto?
me: (i smile, relieved he's not mad anymore...i hold his hand and pull him down to the grass with me, so we're sitting closely (cross-legged), comfortably, opposite of each other) here's what happened...
toma scoots a little closer to me, so our knees are touching...my heart flutters. ~_~ and i continue explaining...
me: well...i haven't told you, but ever since we started dating in december...i have been trying to find a way to move to japan. i knew a long distance relationship is too hard to maintain...and even if we can somehow make it work....(i look down) i...i just can't bear being away from you for months at a time...(toma is touched....he reaches over and holds my hand...) ...but....i don't have enough money saved up. so i've been asking my friends, my family members...if they know anybody in japan, that could possibly help me out...maybe let me stay with them, only charging me a little rent, until i can find work in japan and save up money for my own apartment...
toma: (nods) souka...(hesitant~) but your family and friends...are they ok with you leaving?
me: (tears well up in my eyes...*sniffs*) iie....many of them don't want me to go....they think i'm making a big mistake, moving here just because of you. of course, i didn't tell them who you are...but they know it's because i'm in love with someone. they...they just don't understand... (*sob* seeing me like this, toma looks hurt too...tears well up in his eyes and he holds both my hands tightly...) but luckily, some of them have been very supportive, especially my good friend...Ivy. *cries* she...she grew up in [yr country], but she has some relatives in japan that she visits every year...and a few days before i came here, she said she had asked her relatives for me. explained my situation to them...and she thought she might be able to convince her aunt....because they're very close. her aunt thinks of her as her daughter. she's in her 50s and never married, so she doesn't have any children...she lives alone in kyoto.
toma: (nods, seeing where this story is going... he lets go of my hands, getting a tissue from his bag to wipe away some of my tears before handing me some tissues...)
me: (i dab at my eyes before continuing...) and...on the night of the ningen shikkaku premiere...late that night...ivy emailed me. she said yes!! and i called her to make sure...and she told me...yes...her aunt says i can come live with her. (toma looks very emotional...and he's trying not to cry...) not only that....she...*cries* she...said i can stay there for an indefinite time, and she won't charge me any rent....she's happy to have someone else in the house, and since i'm ivy's friend, she-
i can't talk anymore....i'm crying too hard!! i'm so lucky...i'm so lucky i have ivy, and her aunt is willing to let me stay with her. i still can't believe it...i'm really moving to japan!!
toma: (hugs me, patting my back, gently~) that's so incredibly nice of her! (and he's crying a little...*sniffs*) daijoubu desu...don't cry...
me: (clinging to him) i...i did think it over a lot before i made my decision....even after i got ivy's email...i wanted to think it over some more... it's going to be so hard for me to move to japan. to adjust to a whole new life, a completely different culture....and leave my friends and family and everything else behind...this is what i thought. (i pull away from him, so that i can look at him when i say this...) but i know...i have to do this...so that we can be together....*sob* i love you! *cries* i love you so much!! i just want to see you, i just want to be with you all the time. dakara...
toma: (*cries*, he holds me by the shoulders~) thank you...for making such a big sacrifice for me...i know it's going to be very difficult for you to start a new life here, kedo...
me: (*cries*) as long as i have you, i'll be ok...
toma: (he smiles sweetly, his eyes shining beautifully because of his tears, and pulls me close, hugging me tightly. quietly~) aishiteru yo.
hearing him say this makes me cry even harder...we hold each other and quietly cry together, kneeling in the grass.......holding each other close, feeling so loved and warm....helps us calm down...and stop crying... and i think i'm just completely out of tears, i've been crying so much today!! toma slowly lets go of me...
toma: (strokes my cheek, softly~) i'm so glad you're moving to kyoto....when will you move there?
me: ano...i think maybe in a couple months, i can take care of everything back home, get all the paperwork done, and come...maybe by may or june. (i'm really hoping it's not later than june, so i can watch Seaside Motel!! xD)
toma: (he smiles so sweetly, cheerful~) sugoi....i can't wait until then! finally...we'll be so close...only hours by train. we can take turns visiting each other ne.
me: (i nod, pouting cutely~) mm~! (uh oh...i feel...my legs have fallen asleep! i squirm uncomfortably...)
toma: what's wrong?
me: (embarassed~) my legs fell asleep...
toma: (laughs~ and he carefully helps me sit down, straightening out my legs.) there~ (and he sits closely next to me)
me: (sweetly~) thanks~
toma: (smiles, gently touching one of my knees, softly~) do you want me to rub your legs for you, would that help?
me: (*blush*!! quietly~) uh...iie. i just need to stretch out my legs for a while...
toma: (notices i'm blushing...he can't help scooting closer to me, so that our legs are touching now...gently~) are you cold?
me: (*doki doki*) not really...
toma: (sweetly~) but you look cold to me...i'll warm you up. (he moves behind me and leans over, his arms wrap around my waist, hugging me gently...our cheeks touching...)
me: (ahh~) toma...
toma: (quietly, firmly~) i promise...from now on, i'll try my best to to spend more time with you...to take care of you...to make you happy...to be a better boyfriend. you won't regret your decision...
me: (toma... ~_~ i turn and look at him...softly~) toma...i won't regret it. i just know...
toma looks at me lovingly and smiles...that wonderful smile that makes me doki doki. ahh, he's so cute... and i face forward again and lean back on toma's chest a little. i close my eyes as i feel toma hugging me a little tighter...i feel my legs getting back to normal, but i want us to stay like this for a while longer......i love him so much...and it almost feels like that song...toma, i feel like "i've loved you forever, in lifetimes before."(nsync's this i promise you)
.....after a while, toma slowly lets go of me, and he helps me stand up...
toma: ano...so when you asked me about kyoto last night...
me: (i nod, smiling) hai...i wanted to know what i have to look forward to once i'm in kyoto ne.
toma: (pouts, slightly annoyed~) ah, you're so sneaky! (he playfully ruffles my hair)
me: (laughs, fixing my hair, softly~) gomen ne~
toma: (annoyed~) but you didn't even hear half of what i said though, you were so sleepy!
me: (i scratch my head, embarassed) sou dayo...(laughs)
toma: (his face turns serious, as he remembers something....he looks at me intently...quietly~) ano...
me: (softly~) nani? (eh, why is he suddenly so serious...)
toma: you probably don't remember, but...the last thing i said about kyoto....umm...(*blush*)
me: (toma's blushing!! ehhhh....i dunno why he's blushing, but it's making me nervous~) oh...i do remember...you were trying to tell me something about kyoto? gomen...i was too sleepy...what were you saying?
toma: (takes a step closer to me, looking at me, shyly~) i was saying....some day, when i'm ready to settle down...get married...
me: ("get married"!! *blush*!!! my heart starts beating fast again...)
toma: (smiles) i'd like to find a nice house in kyoto and live there happily for the rest of my life...with the person that i love.
me: (softly~) souka...
toma: (gently holds my hand...and looks at me lovingly...quietly~) i know you're going to live there temporarily for now, but....do you...do you think you'd like to live in kyoto in the future...
me: (and he stops short of saying "with me", but i know what he means. .........toma!!!!!!! this is...it's almost like he's proposing to me????? tears well up in my eyes...and i can't believe he asked me once already, but i was too sleepy to realize it!! i manage to smile and nod, though i'm shaking a little, i'm so surprised and happy... gently~) hai.
toma purses his lips and smiles so sweetly...and he's a little teary-eyed too. he pulls me close and hugs me gently...and i'm already imagining the joys of married life with toma in kyoto. ~_~ and i hug him tighter...tighter...as if i'm afraid i'll somehow lose him...because i love him too much...because....
toma: (he squirms a little, gasps~) too. tight.
me: (oh! i was hugging him way too tightly! i quickly relax my hold on him and pull back...) go-
before i can say "gomen!", toma kisses me tenderly....mm...his soft lips...my heart races and i feel my cheeks getting warm...and all i can think of right now is...."i love you~" over and over and over...
and at this moment, i finally understand....this is how it feels to love someone so much...you would do anything for him.
and so...we keep kissing for a while longer. in this quiet, hidden place in the forest...and i vaguely realize, this is the first time we're kissing in public! *blush*!! but...just a little longer should be ok....mm........
(this is not really) The End.
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ehhhh...this fanfic is finally completed!! ^o^
sorry, so much crying. both me and toma...lol. it can't be helped.
ahhh...i thought i'd be really sad, but then toma's so sweet and loving, i can't help feeling so happy.....
oh, yeah, his brother knows!! lol. ryuusei~ i bet he's cute...but not as cute as my toma! lol.
i really wanted to end with us together...hugging or kissing. kissing wins. lol. ahhhhhhh. yappari. (sorry, it's kinda not right to kiss there, but it's pretty far from the shrine so....well...)
goodness, it's late!!
i'll post it up, but might have to do some editing tomorrow.
good night.
kate.
--------------------
117 comments:
oh the premiere ...so much hype at that time right! he was nervous ...and we're nervous too (and excited)
ah Kate-chan ...souka ...hope that paper can be found soon =)
//Anjerin
Ningen premieres. I thought is you stood up and clap, it would surely attract his attention to where you were. ^_^V
You mean, you're missing your note with your draft on it? So you need it to update? Hope u find it soon.
anjerin,
hai~~ very nervous and exciting to be there with him... *__*
paige,
right! ~_~ he did notice.♥
thanks~ I FOUND IT!!! whew...i've gotta be more careful though. really scared me...
haha...that seems so short.
But why are u leaving the show
b/c you want to watch the movie with Toma?
my fav part (more like 'parts') of course are moments with Toma-kun =) Esp the super HOT part lol
and then the part where Toma cried ... sigh dont cry Toma~
this of course really happened ...
i can imagine how much heart and soul he put in for this movie.
//Anjerin
paige,
ohhhh. it's 5LDK, from may 2009! when we saw those pics f/toma's room. thanks to H for just re-uploading this to her page yesterday!!! so lucky for me!!!! ^_^ i thought it might be more recent than 2008, but i really couldn't remember. but when i saw she uploaded those videos, then i immediately remembered seeing higa's pics of her apartment, and i remember wishing toma had taken a pic where we can see his whole room and not just close-up shots like that!! now i can try to find my screencaps from that show or i'll just get new screencaps from that youtube video. AWESOME.... *O*
eh...i guess it is kinda short. ^^; but in my mind, the whole thing (starting f/when the man shows up on stage) is at least around 40 minutes. lol. i just didn't feel like writing more...toma's already talked about the movie so much. sure most of the things he says here will be the same...but i do wish there was a more detailed premiere night news report... if there was, i'd definitely be able to write more or include more of what toma really said!!
yes, remember i mentioned it earlier...have to leave so we can watch it tomorrow with toma. ~_~ i guess we could just watch it twice too, but then would rather watch it 4 the first time w/toma sitting next to us.
anjerin,
yappari. ^.^
but which parts, specifically?? i'd like to know~
mm...it was a such a touching moment, hounto ni!! definitely....and when i think of how much heart and soul he put into this movie, it makes me want to watch the movie so bad!
just added these pics to the fanfic at the toma's room part. ah, can't see the dvd's clearly, but at least it's clearer than on youtube. jam is SO tiny and cute!! ^^
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2742/4428761478_915ee12f0a_o.jpg
[jam & golf stuff]
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2786/4428761444_3fa57a2b96_o.jpg
[toma's dvd & cds]
hmmm which parts huh ...let's see ... should be those 'near missed' moments. well, i think u know what i mean LOL
also that one scene when he carried u to his room coz ur leg was numb ..so sweet =) *thinks* i'm sure Toma's like that in real life! and i like it also when Toma always takes the trouble to see u when he has the time ...or text or call u if possible ^^
oh thx for the pics on Jam chan and his collection of cds ...wow sugoi ne! so many ...
//Anjerin
oh missed this ...
1) the part when u met a nino lookalike ... made Toma jealous ~~~
and that u still remembered him after the premiere! even emailed him lol Shhh dont let Toma know! hmm that nino lookalike must be cute too ^^
2) details like what he's wearing, hair, smiles and even posted pics on them! i'm sure it's tedious right! but with these, we're able to understand the story better ne =)
//Anjerin
anjerin-chan~~ ^.^
arigatou ne~!
souka souka....
i get it. lol. i love those moments too. it's those "so close!" moments that really takes my breath away...
ah, yes yes. carrying me to his room. <3 it does seem toma-like to do that ne. hai, he does call and text often. <3 (lol. i just noticed that when u said "u" and when i say "me" it makes me a little embarassed. like these things really happened between toma and i. kyaa~~ xD)
you're welcome! hai. toma's got too many dvds & cds. 2 shelfs full!
oh, right, nino. haha...jealous toma is still so cute and sweet~~ ahahaha. of course i'd remember him!! he's really cute. ~_~ and we have some things in common. it'd be nice to be friends. yeah, won't mention it to toma. lol.
ah, thanks for mentioning this!!! *_* it IS very tedious!! so many in this one, i had to make up a list. and have to upload some myself. but it's worth it, cuz i want everyone to better "see" and "feel" the story. ^.^ like...i just added this to the story, the part we were eating. toma is so KAWAII~, even when just chewing!!
http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/7191/53270877201001241915340.gif
hmm...fav moments~~
i have too many to remember, but i really really like the dream on the mt in hokkaido + the phone call that interrupted us. and like u said, those almost~ moments. lol. that~ fantasy, the moments in his room...on~ his bed and under~ the covers. i like the simple moments too...just eating chocolates together or walking in the rain together, just talking on the phone can be so sweet. umm...... anytime when we lightly touch~ or kiss~!! *blush* and of course, him carrying me to his room. <3 *doki doki* and premiere night...standing and clapping for him...how we look and smile at each other in front of everyone...crying with him. and i love love that part: "ore wa itai~ (i want to see you)" <3
we have already kissed and hugged so much in this fanfic ne!!<3 i think i tried to keep count in the 2nd fanfic, these times, but in this one, it's like...wow...so much doki doki. lost count. ~_~ but each time, it still feels so sweet~~
Kate-chan ~~~
i also just noticed that u hv been saying 'me' and 'we/us' (as in u @ Kate and Toma) many times in your previous comment! xD
so many times that i've lost count here! lol
Sugeh ... there're just too many sweet moments in the story ...no wonder u like them all. ore wa itai ...sigh sooooooo swweeeettt! Toma~ <3
i kinda like the hotel room esp the bathroom ... great for couples :p
oh and that u were changing in the same room (yeah Toma wont look ~ he's such a gentleman ne)
fortunately no mirror at the table, otherwise Toma might hv seen u from the reflection of the mirror while u were changing :o
gosh, i'm mentioning 'u' and him again!! xD
//Anjerin
*still thinking abt that cute nino lookalike*
just wondering what happened to his email reply? ;)
gomen ... i always seem to forget to write all my comments in a single post ..
//Anjerin
anjerin-chan,
xD actually, in my comments be4 this, i'd say "u and toma" and when i say "we/us", i mean, "toma + you/me". but since u said "you = kate", from now i'll just say "me = kate + toma".♥♥ lol. but u should write "me = anjerin" ne~~
sou des. ~_~
"ore wa itai"...♥ ah~
yes yes, it's a pretty hotel room ne! ^^ ah, i didn't think of that. yes, it'd be nice for couples~ hai, sure he wouldn't look. ~_~ ah! funny u should say that. cuz the small tv on the table...it did cross my mind to have toma see me kinda (even then, just f/behind though), reflected on the tv, but then i thought, no, he's a gentlemen, he would just shut his eyes the whole time, probably...and he's already tired so...he falls asleep. ah...toma's so adorable and sweet ne!♥
nino look-alike. haha...hmm...
maybe we'll see each other again??
daijoubu. xD
I really love these last parts! When Toma cries at the premiere move me again like when I watched the video, and the part of the hotel room make me doki doki, what will happen next? \(*o*)/
Read your fanfic has made me able to smile for a while now that I'm not passing a good time in my life. Thank you for write and share with us the fanfic :)
I always just love love you're stories!!! I look forward to reading each part everyday! It brightens up my entire day! Arigatou Kate-san! And I love getting to learn new Japanese words as a bonus!! You Rock!!!
isabel-chan,
i'm happy u liked reading those parts!! really~! <3
arigatou. ~_~
ah, hounto? yokkata!! *_* i think i'll still cry if i reread it...
and took me a long time to write about him crying at the premiere. such an important, touching moment.
souka. i'm really glad i could make you smile. ureshii!!<3 and i hope things will get better for you soon. gambatte ne!!
alisha-chan,
iya~ arigatou!! i'm happy to know you're one of the few people who look forward to my fanfic updates!! <3 awww. ^.^ sugoi. i'm really glad my story can brighten up your day. really!
i KNEW there was some meaning to my silly fanfic. xD i'm happy to share it with everyone ne... oh, right!! hehe. in my fanfics, u get to learn some japanese and also learn more about toma, and japan too. YEY~! xD
i can't wait to read everyone's comments tomorrow... >//////< sumimasen!!
ooohhh my .........
did u both get that far??!! xD
was reading that part in my office (while I was taking a break of course hehe shhh ...), and i was trying hard not to laugh or show any expression! this story kinda almost reached to above 18 rating already xD
gosh, my cheeks feeling hot now ...calm down, calm down ...lol
i try not to think Toma as someone like that ... but then again, when u love someone, u can't stop that feeling. but kinda glad it didnt 'move' to the 'next' level, otherwise it'll distract the sweetness of the storyline =)
like what minna said, all looking forward for ur fanfic updates! Gambatte Kate-chan!
Sweet dreams on Toma too xD
//Anjerin
Ah! Another bedroom, I thought it would be tempting.
I think it was sweet that he'll come by after his after-parties.
Eh, you're emailing the guy that-you-don't-know-the-name of! Would Toma get jealous? And what is with the overseas email, that made no sense to us readers...something in the pipeworks
anjerin,
ah...sorry sorry!! i know what happened didn't really go with the sweetness of the fanfic so far...but...i dunno...i felt that after everything that happened...our tension would go up and....something like that should happen. lol. i guess i just wandered off a little far this time....yeah. xD but really...i'm glad i could do this at least once...have a really kyaaaaaaaa moment between us....it felt necessary, after all the teasing about it i've been doing in this fanfic!! and i think most of u will reallyyyy like~ this part. ^^
EHH!! LOLLLL. i thought of warning beforehand, that this part will be intense, but...didn't want you to expect it. xD gomen ne!
me too. but then...if toma was your boyfriend....really... i think it'd be hard to resist him!! especially after you've both said "aishiteru" to each other and already had some "almost" moments!! all of that was building up to this moment...and i didn't even know it at that time!!!
yes yes. don't worry, it's not gonna get to the 'next' level in this fanfic. i'll just say that right now. so u can all relax! lol. though u can probably guess, this is my limit, anyway....xD (but, i take back what i said in my 2nd fanfic, about how thinking about toma that way will make my head explode. lol. it just makes me reallyyyyy HOT and doki doki. >///////< and it feels~ soooo....good, too. xD)
ah, ARIGATOU NE!!
i'll keep trying to write a nice story for everyone and myself too.
we still haven't watch the movie together yet, remember!! yet so many WOW moments already. lol. but we're getting closer to the end...awwwww. -__- one day and a half left.
thanks, but i didn't dream about him last night. haha. i soooo wanted to, though.
paige,
yes, i couldn't help it...xD
sou dayo! of course he'd come by, even though he's exhausted. ~_~ gotta celebrate together ne.
ah, don't worry about nino. toma's not gonna know about us talking by email. ^^
yes, i'm glad you mentioned that!! that email is important. but i can't tell you anything more about it right now. sorry. haha.
O.O omg....are you trying to kill me? hahaha That was fantastic love!!! I was blushing and my cheeks were getting warm and I had to squirm in my chair!!! You naughty woman you. Lovely writing! But I was sad when he left, I wanted to be all like *reach over and grabs Toma's shirt hem all cutely with my finger tips and pout and say "Don't leave me Toma-kun. Aishiteru"* hahaha >.<; anyway YAY! Good job! (don't know what that is in Japanese.....*fail*) <3
alisha-chan,
LOL!!!!!!!!! xD gomen ne!
and you're welcomeeee. xD
but i'm glad u had all these feelings cuz of this part of the story!! xD trust me, i had the same kinda reaction as all of you, while i wrote and reread this part!!!! >/////<
yes~ i've got a dirty mind. xD
(only sometimes, when it comes to toma. lol.)
awwww.<3 i wanted him to stay too, but...
thank u, thank u!! <3
i think it's otsukaresama deshita = great work/you’ve worked hard (lit. “it was honorable fatigue/efforts”). ~_~
hey Kate-chan ...there's no need to feel bad or apologise!
dont worry about it ... i'm sure most of us are above 13! lol
i guess it's a mixture of sweetness and >>hotness<< at the same time. yeah, we obviously like that part ;)
ah, we're getting closer to the end? well, try make it longer then ... haha just kidding!
//Anjerin
anjerin-chan,
(u posted at 1:07am!! toma's bday, 10/7. xD wonder if u're still online now? hmm. thanks for commenting a lot!!♥ i really appreciate it~~)
ah, i know. but i just feel bad. lol. please excuse my...putting these thoughts in your head. lol. even though i know u like it...xD ah, but we shouldn't think of toma like that...(i'm sorry, toma!! ^^;)
sou desu!! ^o^
it's good to have a little hotness sometimes...!
hai... lol. it's already a lot longer than it was originally!! but i really enjoyed writing/editing this fanfic. just that i hate it when i can't come up with good (or any!) ideas. lol...i'm kinda going thru that now... daijoubu. sometimes the ideas just flow, and it results in those kyaaaaa~ moments or those touching or sweeeet moments....i need some more of these *inspired* moments, kudasai!!
ok. sleep now.
I WANT EVERYONE TO DREAM ABOUT TOMA TONIGHT~!♥ TRY YOUR BEST!! xD
I WILL TOO~
good night!!!!!!!!!!
I guess, when you get the inspiration, it doesn't matter if there is a break or not between projects, b/c the ideas will flow continiously. So it was easily Fic 3 half way mark already. So, you are still writing it, I had thought u finished it already.
So, when is he coming by? You were still daydreaming all morning about the night before...well, no need, since the real thing (in fantasy way) is just a cellphone away. XD
arrgh. stupid fileden is not working again. i'll reupload your banner and some other pics to photobucket the next time i update tonight!! sorry!
paige, that's true... ~_~
oh...you see, i finished the whole story back at the end of january. but then after the real premiere, i had to write for those parts (i only wrote really generally before that) and i had to add a whole day to the story (back in jan. that i thought feb. 20 would be the premiere + opening day). and i thought up some ideas along the way, so i have to write for those.
AND i unexpectedly had us...be together~ like that~ last night, so that makes it necessary for me to change/add certain parts of the story now....
BUT what i'm stuck on is the time after we watch the movie tonight....late that night, specifically. lol. i dunno what we should do together. not like we're gonna...try THAT again~ tonight. LOL. so i'm...i'm still thinking about that. paige, if u have any ideas, just PM me by LJ. hahaha. (i'll be online late at night for these coming days and we gained an hour recently, so maybe we'll be online at the same time sometimes...hmmm.)
so, that's my long explanation.... hai~ (weakly) gambarimas... x'D
"just a cellphone away. XD" sou des!! ^^ well, he's really busy today, so will have to talk by cellphone ne~~
YES!!!!!!!
PAIGE,
I HAD ONE OF THOSE INSPIRED MOMENTS...I'VE THOUGHT OF SOME...WICKED~ COOL~ IDEAS FOR LATE NIGHT OF FEB.20.
yatta!!!!!!! ^o^
i've made note of it, but can't wait to really~ write about it!!! *hyper*
WHAA ...really?!!! 1.07am ... Toma's birthday! yay this is fated lol ;)
although it was more like a coincidence xD hmmm ...
i'm online whole day in the office actually ...so if i hv time, i'll just stop by at your blog/ fanfic.
hehe, it's ok ... will continue to comment whenever i can =)
souka ...yeah, sometimes we get those writers' block and uninspired moments ...take your time Kate-chan! but now u hv some .. wicked (!!!) ideas for the next part right! more near missed moments again? lol
can't wait for it =)
sigh, nope never dreamt of Toma before, not even once ...but will try my best tonite xD hai, gambarimasu! lol
//Anjerin
anjerin,
that was a cool coincidence, though~
(i have a slight obsession with times that make up toma's bday. mostly 10:07 but also 1:07, etc... ever since toma talked about seeing 10:07 on his watch (i think this was in 2008) and saying it felt lucky cuz it's his bday numbers, saying that was silly to think so. xD i somehow tend to look at my watch or the time on tv, clock on the wall, etc. at those times, A LOT. xD)
souka~ i look forward to seeing yr comments, anjerin-chan. ~_~
hai~ i was really getting frustrated and was feeling a lot of pressure...but then suddenly yesterday, i had this 1 idea *_*, and then the ideas kept coming....UWA!! SUGOI NE~! haha. hmm...maybe!! ^^ it will be...quite suspenseful~ i think...<3
hounto deska?? dreams are tricky ne. sometimes, i just randomly see him even though i don't think of him anymore than usual. maybe try looking at toma's picture be4 you go to bed...even if it doesn't help u dream of toma, it can't hurt to look at his pretty pics some more ne. <3 (i often use his pic for my cellphone wallpaper, so i can see him be4 i go to sleep every night~~ <3)
was it like a 'lighbulb' moment?
I have lots of those often enough when I'm doing creative stuff.
Hope to see the day of the movie soon (and yoru new additions). Oh, the day is actually already there...oh, I meant, the actual movie viewing then...ahah, since that was the main theme.
hey paige!
yes, it was exactly like a 'lightbulb' moment!! sugoi ne!! *_*
ah, finally....though ningen is the main theme, but i dunno...lol. since i have not watched the movie, this part is a little tough to write.... but listening to the Secret soundtrack (jay chou's movie f/a while back.), i was able to get some of that movie watching feeling~ that i needed. i'll do my best!! (with the editing/additions)
KATE-CHAN!!!! You went to MItsuwa yesterday? (On Thursday, the 18th, right??????) OMG!!! We could have met each other! I was there with one of my friends! What time were you there?
Ahhh~ I'm so disappointed... It would've been cool to meet you in real life... though I don't know what you actually look like because your default picture is miniscule, but I know that you visit the Mitsuwa in Costa Mesa (we talked about this a LONG time ago). Sorry, I sound like such a creeper >.<
And you're so lucky to find a copy of ningen shikkaku with Toma on the cover... But to be honest, I haven't been looking for Toma on the cover, I just want to read the book!
Anywayyyy, I hope we meet some day seeing as we live in close distance to one another :]
(P.S. My blogger account isn't responding so I'm posting this as my name)
I understand, you have to try your best in imagining what your reaction could be as you write about the movie (that u haven't seen).
Oh, which book did you get? Which cover, I guess if there were only one left, you probably had not much choice. I thought if I would get one of those Toma (on cover) books, just for keepsake, as I wouldn't be reading it. I probably don't mind struggling thru (if it was the case of trying to) magazines words, or manga, but a novel would be too scary for me to attempt.
Now that you've watched the movie, what other romantic dalliance are you writing for us...hehe XD
marie-chan,
you were there yesterday too? ehh! i was there for a little while, around 4pm. we missed each other again. i remember seeing yr pic (not covered by anything) at yr blog, but that was a long time ago, so now i dunno what u look like either. well, some other time, maybe we'll see each other ne. no, u don't sound creepy at all! ^^ i'm actually a pretty quiet person and i don't really want any toma fan to recognize me in real life, thus the tiny profile pic. haha. and cuz also, in case i'm somewhere in public with some1 (especially a family member), i don't want a toma fan to come up to me and...i don't want them to know about this blog. lol. it's a little embarassing. so, like i said somewhere before, if u see me, PLEASE don't mention my blog. haha. that's all i ask. but it's perfectly ok to come up to me and just to say hi, are you the kate, who's a toma fan...something like that. haha. thanks!in fact, i really should add this to my profile. lol.
yeah~! the last one!! ^_^V
http://www.amazon.com/No-Longer-Human-Osamu-Dazai/dp/0811204812
u can buy the book in english here. wow, i just took a look at a few pages....and mitsuwa has been selling the book in japanese for a a while now...but i didn't see it there yesterday. maybe sold out.
paige-chan,
hai~. sou desu. ^^;
the FIRST one. ^.^ the ningen shikkaku book (not the other dazai books). but i'm glad it could be this one, since it's the first time ever toma was on a book, and this is the book the movie is based on, after all. *_* and i so wanted to buy it back in (was it november?) when toma was asking everyone to please buy it and display it proudly in your room. haha!! and now, i have it!! right~ though this ningen book seems so short, but won't try to read it, using a dictionary or anything.
ah, paige. ^_~ that's a good word for what i have coming up. totally...a ton of flirting. xD
Ehhh... I found that they *supposedly* have the English version at Barnes and Noble so I'll look for it there. If not, I'll buy it online. Haha
Awww, you're embarrassed? All my friends know my craze for Toma. I just can't help admiring someone with such wonderful talent :]
Well, it would be hard to approach you if I can't figure out what you look like precisely hahaa
You can always look me up on facebook (oh boy, how cliche) actually... here's a link:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?ref=profile&id=780634828
If you have a facebook you can add me (and look at my pictures, find out what I look like, and I you. I swear... I sound creepy. Hahahaa)
Or click on my name to go to my tumblr page o.o
new frienddd ^^
yayy~!
Oh, and I was there from like 3 PM - 5 PM
But I spent my time wandering around the book section, the small gift store near the food court, the grocery side, and I ate in the food court later too. I lead an exciting life (sarcasm) x]
oh! totally didn't think of checking at barnes. lol.
i mean, embarassed about this blog. lol. i've written a lot of mushy stuff here about toma, you know!! xD but of course i'm as proud as can be, to be a toma fan!!!
ahahaha. sou des. i don't have facebook. lol. so many ppl have asked me that. >_< well, if u give me yr email, i can send u a pic myself, and u can send me a pic of yrself too. (man, u'd better not be a creep!! lol.) and maybe we'll see each other sometime at mitsuwa. haha. I THINK YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED WHEN YOU SEE ME IN REAL LIFE THOUGH. xD but....if toma ever comes to the usa for ningen's release, OR if i'm ever in japan, then i think i will post up pics of myself for everyone here to see. lol. and both are not happening anytime soon.
really? huh!! we were both there, but didn't bump into each other. there wasn't even much people there. wow....i wandered around to all those places too...and was there was my sister (also a toma fan, but even she doesn't know about this blog either. lol.)
ehhh? Your sister is a Toma fan but doesn't know of this blog? The irony! Hahahaa!
And of course I'll give you my email! Then we can talk more often and decrease the chances of expanding this page (even though that is unlikely since so many people comment on here anyway. Shout out to everyone/anyone who has been reading my comments~!)
x2blahx2@yahoo.com
I check it everyday :]
lol. i didn't even let her know i was a toma fan for a whole year. i guess i didn't feel like sharing toma then. lol. ok, no more off-topic here. i'll email u now be4 i go...
btw, you haven't said anything about my story here!!! i'd like to know what u think ne!!
ahh gomen ne. I was overly excited over the fact that i could have met you.
Seriously, your story has made me tear up. I haven't fully cried yet though, but tearing up is just as good, deshou? :3
You are an amazing writer and you shouldn't give up. You're very good at stimulating emotions, such as causing a person to feel emotional, thus tearing up. In addition to that, you aren't overly detailed, which can be good and bad. In this situation I would say that it's good because I'm sure some people who visit this blog aren't native to the English tongue. However, if you were to ever actually pursue a writing career I think you'd have to be a lot more descriptive. But~ this is just a blog that's done for fun that helps the reader visualize life in a fantasy and I think it's simply amazing because I'm too shy to share my stories online so I give you much kudos!!!
I hope you keep writing, Kate-chan!
Ohhh and the bed scene with Toma as things got almost a bit out of hand, I thought I was going to swoon and fall out of my seat hahaha
Even though I thought "Ohh goodness!!! Much too fast!" Don't worry, that's the perks of being a writer. I already said, you're good at stimulating emotions! :]
u make it sound like i'm a celebrity. lol.
i'm just a regular girl~~
ah, thanks for your comments! yokatta~. ^_^V
ahahaha. i am not seriously thinking of being a professional writer. but i see what you you're saying...right, right. wakkata... hai, it's just for fun ne. ^.^ ah, i feel embarassed sometimes when i post up certain parts...but it makes me happy to share this story with everyone. and the "me" in this story is only partly me after all...i wish~ i could be so open with my feelings and
so...completely devoted and in love and do anything for/with toma. xD
lol...sou deska?? (>/////<) hai, that bed scene could be improved, but it was still enough to make me *DIE*. xD
marie-chan,
arigatou~!!
gambarimas!!! *_*
oh, sorry! the last part of my comment got cut off. i was saying:
last couple times, i seem to keep writing the most...>>HOT<< moments on sunday. and it made me feel SO GUILTY...i mean, i go to church on sunday!!
sorry again! was in a hurry yesterday and didn't notice a part of this scene, the text got all bunched up, not properly space. >_< i'll fix everything later!!
*DIES MULTIPLE TIMES*
OMG >////////////////<
*tries HARD NOT TO IMAGINE THAT SCENE*
Thanks for remembering me xD My pc got a virus and I lost all my saved homepages so I somewhat forgot it x'D
But toa is sooo hot and cute and awwwwwwwwwwww~
Well, I know you're not a celebrity, Kate-chan. I just like meeting new people and making new friends so I guess the excitement gets to my head haha
I think if you improved the bed scene, I would die again and again. If it were possible for girls to get ero nosebleeds then I would get one; however, it is only physically possible for males to get the ero nosebleeds. (I know really weird facts and I don't know if you want me to explain it on here and have everyone read it and be like "ewww" LOL!)
So I went to Mitsuwa today and it was extremely crowded. I also got one of the employees at the bookstore to order a ningen shikkaku book with Toma on the cover (hopefully it'll be with Toma on the cover, the lady said that it should ship within 2 weeks)
Continue writing Kate, even if it's just for fun! Gambatte~!
careline!!
xD see, didn't i tell u (in my PM to u at LJ), u'd love that part!! lol. i just didn't think it would take u till today to read it. but cuz of yr pc problem...i'm glad you're back though!!
yes, it was completely >/////////< for me too!!
toma is too hot!! but cute too. can't help wanting him....<3
(isabel, when will u post about that bed scene?? hmm...)
marie!!
ah, i understand now. ^^
gah, i am not gonna try to improve it... i already edited it some more afterwards, and THAT~ feeling was still so strong!! >////< this version already has too strong~ an effect on me. *dies*
(really? i'd rather not know more about this. don't post about it, kudasai! lol.)
souka? awesome!! i didn't think about asking them to order other dazai books w/toma on the cover for me. but...i'd rather just wait. i already have one. i'm fine for now. =D
i will!! thanks!^^
yeahhh but it's a 2 week wait just for the book to come in, but we, as customers, don't pay for shipping and handling, so I thought that was super awesome haha
I like the Yuma appearance. Umm, I don't actually like him like him, but I think if I were writing fanfic, I would try to include things or people I like in it as well XD!
Snow setting is very romantic (well, I don't have snow here, so it's that feeling, but I also know that if it sowing heavily and continuously - it is not fun at all). And making snow angels ! haha, I just thought that seemed to be another way to have a chance to lie in the ground with him (images of 'Twilight' or 'Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind' came to mind lol).
Ah ha! I have a feeling I know what the secret is...the email previous would also make sense if I am correct. I think it should be that way, as well, relationship can exist stronger if one side makes the decision. I won't say it as not to spoil it before u write it...so we'll see..
marie~
hai! cool that we don't have to pay the shipping. i've special ordered magazines a few times there. ^^ but though they said it might take 2-3 weeks, the +act came in around 1 week. so maybe u won't have to wait that long!
paige~
yuma appearance!! yey!! yappari~ yes yes, and so i'm glad i got a nino-lookalike and yuma into my fanfic this time. xD sugoi!
hai...for me too, cuz i rarely see snow. quite romantic~~ LOL. sou des!! i was influenced by that twilight scene. oh, right, in eternal sunshine too!! any excuse to lie down next to him. xD but i kept w/the angel theme.
~_~ ii ne...i knew you would be able to figure it out, paige. well...i've given u a BIG clue at the end of part 16, too. haha. mm... "I think it should be that way, as well, relationship can exist stronger if one side makes the decision." you're completely~ right. <3 it was my intention from the very beginning of this fanfic, to have this happen. <3
ehhh? Maji de? Sugoi ne...
Thanks for the heads up, Kate-chan! Much appreciated :D
hmm i agree ...yuma's addition to the fanfic was refreshing. at least we got to see Toma's jealous reaction again xD
and oh, snow fight! how romantic ;)
Kate-chan ... is there some big surprise coming? funny, i really didn't see it coming. hope it's not a bad one ...
//Anjerin
marie~
no problem!! ~_~
anjerin~
yey. i'm glad u like the part when yuma appeared. ~_~
haha...sou desu~ i like making toma jealous...<3
haha...snowball fight.
was it unexpectedly romantic?? lol. but i really love that hug at the end...
awwwwwwwww. sweettttttt. ~_~
hai! but it's a good surprise. definitely a change for the better. i'm glad you can't guess what it is, though. you can be surprised along with toma when i let him know my secret ne....
awww~! Snowball fight!!! How funnnn! ^^
And I love how you ended the scene with a hug <3
i'm glad u liked the snowball fight too, marie-chan! ^^
and that hug was so sweet... ~_~ i can totally imagine brushing the snow from his face and glasses right before that too...and then he looks~ at me... <3
Ah, yes, need to take more photos together. You need someone to take pics for you... :( but you're a secret couple though....:(
So the big news will be revealed tomorrow?? A happy ending then.
there was a minor earthquake in japan a few weeks ago right ...? hmmm, a great idea to get Toma to stay for the nite ;) earthquake is kinda scary ... so many news on this recently *shudder*
alright, the secret ... i'll definitely be as surprise as Toma-kun! when i read the fanfic again, it'll probably links to your friend's email? hmmm *thinks*
whatever family problems u r having now ... hang in there, Kate-chan! smile, pray and look at Toma's pic if u wish ...it'll make your day =)
//Anjerin
(arrgh, i really regret reading those yaoi fanfics yesterday. >_< i had trouble getting those images out of my mind!!!)
paige~
yeah...it would be nice to take some pics together somewhere...but being a secret couple...but we can still take pics of us next to each other, as long as not hugging or anything. maybe later on, if toma tells ryuusei about us, he can help us out w/taking pics and other stuff...
hai... ~_~
anjerin~
right, it was mar.14, the earthquake in tokyo. it was a strong 6.6 earthquake. then on mar.16, we had a minor earthquake here... thanks! ^^ yeah, i am worried about earthquakes a lot these days...
hai, that email is a big part of the secret! sorry i barely gave u any clues. haha. here's a big one though: think back to my 2nd fanfic...
ah, thanks, anjerin-chan! praying did help me...though when i'm really sad, i don't want to think of toma or look at his picture. i don't want to...link him to a sad moment in my life, if u know what i mean....-__- but if it's just something minor, than looking at toma does cheer me up!! don't worry, things are ok now...we just got in a huge argument over something unimportant, but it still really bothered me and stressed me out.
ahahaa Kate-chan! Naughty naughty! Reading yaoi- getting inspiration are we? ;D
hahahaa Joking~
Ahhh I wonder what the secret issss!!!
lol. geez, yaoi fanfics are dirtyyyy!!
but i read quite a lot yesterday. xD umm...i guess in a way, yes. haha. but most of that stuff is way too intense and dirty, so...haha.
the secret. ~_~
it's really good news~
Oh goodness, Kate-chan! Your update made me blush soooo much. I giggled a little too hard when Toma had to get up to go buy the medication and... you know, he couldn't ;D
Keep up the great work! (And I think you're right- you were greatly influenced by the yaoi fanfics hahahaa)
marie!
1st person to comment about that bed scene. xD
hounto? iya...that was my intention. haha. i'm glad u felt that way...oh, that part. >////< well, i guessed he wouldn't be able to get up right away, right??
oh, those yaoi fanfics!! >_< i still find myself thinking about some intense~ parts f/those fanfics sometimes. but that's mostly just cuz toma is so hot~ or so turned on~ in those parts... >///< but reading them did help me with writing this part. and for this bed scene, showing toma's also so turned on while we were doing that ...i think that's what made it so hot for me. lol.
but notice how i'm always the person that initiates. lol...this time, cuz of my kiss. toma got turned on and wanted me to sit with him like that...kyaa!! i loved that whole part so much too, sitting in such a provocative position with him...it's almost like foreplay, but i don't think toma meant it that way...
...... kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa x'D
oh, hi careline! *waves*
i thought u would say something like that. xD
hai...still makes me so hot when i re-read it. >////<
Hahahaa! You do kinda initiate it, but I think it's hilarious! But it's also cute, in a way since he wants to play along ;D
And I'm going to have to quote Careline (but in capital letters and a bunch of exclamation points) for a slight second because I went back to reread the bed scene:
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
That is all xD
LOL how can we sleep when he almost proposes to us?X DD
kyaa wanna know how it continues :D
marie♥,
i guess i just want to keep toma the one who's got more self-control, so that's why i'm always the one that makes the first move. lol... *blush* and of course toma wants to play~ along... ^_~
xD ah, thanks for that additional KYAAAAAAAAA!!!!! i just reread it again too. goodness, i've reread it too many times...xD
careline♥,
ahhaha. it's a little cliche, but i'm too sleepy to realize what he's saying...but did hear him, the 2nd time, at least. lol.
i guess it's a side affect of the medicine. and it's late and things got so~ intense earlier between us...sure it made me weak... ~_~
Ahhh~ Kate! Toma's finally initiating some lovinnngggg!!! ;D LOLOL!
I'm so proud of him. After so long he's finally taking the first step! -tear- hahahaa
Ahhh~ Kate! Toma's finally initiating some lovinnngggg!!! ;D LOLOL!
I'm so proud of him. After so long he's finally taking the first step! -tear- hahahaa
HAZUKASHIIIIIII~ >/////////////<Oh but it seems to get interesting again huh? XD
marie,
i know, right?? toma finally makes the first move!!♥ and yet it's the first time i turn him down, too. lol. ah, it's cool to actually turn him down for once, right?? before...giving in to him, of course. kyaaaaaaa!!
careline,
hai!!! SO EMBARASSING THAT HE HEARD. but if he didn't, he wouldn't have woken up and we wouldn't have another chance to...♥
Well, there's a first time for everything!
It's so cute that he takes a picture of both of you sleeping... well... "sleeping" on his part hahahaa. I love it! Too cute!!! <3
marie-chan,
thanks for the comment!! i always love getting comments!♥
(i wonder where paige, anjerin, isabel, and alisha are. no comments from them in a long while.... -__-)
iya...he's so sweet ne!!♥ so cute that he'd think of to take a pic of us sleeping. ~_~
ehh... I don't know them personally but if they're still in school maybe they're busy with schoolwork? If they're on spring break, maybe they went out of town with family? Or they just haven't had the time to comment... I'm not so sure, but I'm sure they'll comment again! I don't think they'd abandon your fanfiction- it's too fun! :DDD
yes yes, that's what i think too...i just miss seeing their comments. i'm sure they'll be back later, but i was hoping they'd be back be4 i finish the fanfic, but now i dunno if they'll be back in time. :( hmm......
ah, thanks!! it's fun ne~
(oh, i see u got your ningen books!! yey. u went to little tokyo?? was it fun?? i've thought of going sometimes, but...)
Yeah! I got my ningen books! I'm so happy. I've almost finished reading the English version. I didn't read it today since I went to the Getty Museum with my friends... but anyway... haha
I really wished I went to more than just one area in Little Tokyo. My boyfriend got lost, so we decided to just stay in one area (the shopping center) for an hour and then come back to the OC. I still thought it was fun though. I ate takoyaki there at a decent price. Usually I buy takoyaki at Genki Living. About 4 or 5 pieces for $6! Can you believe that? Anyway, the takoyaki I bought at Little Tokyo was 8 pieces for about, I think, it was $5. I can't remember but I'm happy. Sorry for rambling. I'm so good at that xD
OMG!!! You gave Toma a necklace ^^
I think that's sooo sweet <3
I'm sorry, Kate, the above comment was mine (Marie's). Though I'm sure you could've deciphered that. Blogger was being stupid and wouldn't let me write my name
-.-;
hey,
the story timeline has only been 4 days? seems like you were there for a longer time.
I'm surprised that Toma is freely walking around with a girl these few days on the week of his movie release and no-one noticed? LOL, not worried about the paparazzi?
As the Majo ring was more personalised, it was a nice touch to have him get something worn on you. You could get another one again. Matching stuff!
Mrs Ikuta? You're already planning future fantasies...white picket fences and how many babies? XD
~ marie,
the ningen book is pretty short, so i guessed you'll finish it soon. =) ah, it's nice that u can go to lots of places during your break...
oh, u got to go w/your boyf too! romantic~! ah, i see. it's a big area...but it must be cool to just go to the shopping center. i've never actually tried takoyaki. lol. it's so expensive and i don't like seafood anyway. but it's good to know u got a good deal! xD
hai. ~_~ and i really only thought of it suddenly yesterday! giving him my necklace. <3
* paige,
(*hugs* i missed u and yr comments!! <3)
hai! it does seem long. but it's only feb.18 - feb.21.
LOL. you're completely right. but in my fantasy world, the paparazzi and fans never notice or follow toma around. lol. and a lot of the times, we are alone wherever we are. it all seems too perfect, but oh well. i don't feel like making it more real and have fans or paparazzi bothering us yet.
hai.<3 i'm really happy about it...me wearing his ring, him wearing my necklace... umm, i also thought of it, i could get another one, then we'd have matching necklaces. ah, but then it seems like...this necklace is to signify that i want to be his wife. and its existence...is so that i can, for the first time, let him know for sure, that i want to marry him someday. and now that toma knows, i think i don't need to get another necklace. it would be more special if we...like...share this necklace. <3
(>///<) ah...mrs. ikuta. well, in my mind, i always know we'll eventually get married (in the fanfic, not in real life!). just that in this fanfic, the theme of marriage is really~ strong!! haha. starting from the first part of the fanfic, the dream where he proposes. lol. and i already even imagined us getting married and having twins in the first fanfic!! so, the answer is, 2 babies. xD
BUT...paige. @__@
ehhh...now i'm confused. have u been reading the story all this time and just not commenting??? or were u really away for a while and just now caught up with the whole story, but you're only commenting on the newest part of the story??
paige, please do comment about the parts...in the hotel room, it doesn't matter which parts, i just want to know what u thought about some of those scenes/what parts u thought were sweet or something.
(*ANJERIN, i hope you will too, and not just comment about the newest part of the story)
ONEGAISHIMAS!!!!!!
Well, I've finished ningen in my second sitting, It took me about 30 minutes to finish the second half hahaha
And see? I told you everyone was going to comment again! No worries.
Waiting for your update~!
wah, LOL, don't pick on me... XD
I considered all the time in the hotel, with all the near misses, repeated a few times, was all part linked together, so I didn't thought I had to mention the specifics. You must have planned a great deal on it it - your perfect fantasy. So good job to you.
The sleeping photo was a nice keepsake.
~ marie-chan,
wow, so fast! it's really such a short book ne. but youzou's whole life happened in that 1 short book.... hai~! ah, it makes me happy to know you're looking forward to my update. arigatou!
~ paige-chan,
yappari. i knew you'd say something like this. it's alright, i won't force u. ah, even if u were here reading along as i wrote those parts in the hotel room, i think i wouldn't get much reaction from u in yr comments either. haha.
mm...actually, some parts just came to me suddenly (sitting between his legs. kyaaa!), while some parts took serious planning. like, the part i talked in my sleep. took me a long while to come up with that part!! xD i wanted us to have another almost moment, but i didn't want to make the first move. >///< but i'm proud of myself for being able to turn him down (for a little while) AFTER that dream!! and i guess that dream was to make up for all the almost~ moments, too....at least we finally did...if only in a dream.
"So good job to you." ARIGATOU NE! <3
ahhhhh. that sleeping photo. <3 hai...
and paige....did u feel like....like it was you with toma all this time in this fanfic...or did it feel more like it's kate with toma? i want to ask, cuz i remember in the 1st fanfic, u said it was like kate + toma. in the 2nd fanfic, i think i got better at it, but not sure...i'm also not sure about this 3rd fanfic....i hope everyone does feel like it's them + toma!! <3
hi kate,
For me, personally, I'm the type to 'see' the story. So character profiles builds up, even if the story is written in the first person. So I guess, I have been reading kate's adventures with Toma.
I know you intended this to be an 'your' story, and I see all the details you done to make it work, etc, Toma never says 'her' name, or include post scipt to allow readers change to their fave DVD, or fave food, etc. I can see all that, so you have done your part, so don't mind me.
I just tend to be those people. Maybe I write fiction as well, and I tend to visualise, so I have to 'see' like a director way (and still control the emotional aspect).
But as I mentioned in the first fic. It's how there is much of the kate-ism (and Tom-ism) written in, that creates the fun/cute fantasy, and I wish the couple well.
hey paige~
(it's raining right now...)
souka...
yappari. ^^;
hai, hai....thanks for noticing. ~_~
ah...i understand! that's true...if u're seeing all this and not actually a part of the story, u can not be too affected by the emotions going on.
hounto ni? ~_~ (i remember u saying that, too. i'm glad u still think so!)yey~ i'm really happy to know that u think the kate-isms and toma-isms makes it a cute fantasy. awwwww. arigatou!♥
it's funny, how sometimes i feel the same way. xD though most of the time, i feel like it's me, but then again, sometimes, i feel like, "i definitely couldn't really do that!!" and so sometimes, i do feel like a 3rd person, watching what's happening between this "kate" and toma. lol. isn't that weird? but i'm happy that this fanfic has become an ongoing thing....it almost feels like i'm writing a drama sometimes. lol. but then, sometimes it feels like all of this is what i'm writing in my diary?? it feels like both.....and the emotions keep building up as the relationship progresses...i'd really like to keep continuing this fanfic/series for a long long long time...i want know what happens to us too.♥ but eventually, we'll have a happy ending, for sure.
hmmm.....i'll wait to see what everyone else says....but this makes me think....if most ppl see it as kate + toma anyway....then shouldn't i just make it about me and toma for the next fanfic?? lol. then i don't have to worry about toma not saying my name and writing extra stuff so that each person can personalize the story. i already barely write those extra stuff, in this fanfic.
(and paige, remember how i was really freaking out over this fanfic....kept saying i felt like i can't come up with any good ideas this time...lol. well, in the 1st draft, it really felt fast. i finished writing in only 11 days. but then it's during march that i got inspired and added so many scenes. thank goodness i somehow came up with all these extra ideas, and some of the sweetest ones, i just suddenly think of....sugoi ne! i need some more sweet ideas for this ending, kudasai!!!)
hey paige~
(it's raining
right now...)
souka...
yappari. ^^;
hai, hai....
thanks for noticing. ~_~
ah...i understand! that's true...if u're seeing all this and not actually a part of the story, u can not be too affected by the emotions going on.
hounto ni? ~_~ (i remember u saying that, too. i'm glad u still think so!)
yey~ i'm really happy to know that u think the kate-isms and toma-isms makes it a cute fantasy. awwwww. arigatou!♥
it's funny, how sometimes i feel the same way. xD though most of the time, i feel like it's me, but then again, sometimes, i feel like, "i definitely couldn't really do that!!" and so sometimes, i do feel like a 3rd person, watching what's happening between this "kate" and toma. lol. isn't that weird? but i'm happy that this fanfic has become an ongoing thing....it almost feels like i'm writing a drama sometimes. lol. but then, sometimes it feels like all of this is what i'm writing in my diary?? it feels like both.....and the emotions keep building up as the relationship progresses...i'd really like to keep continuing this fanfic/series for a long long long time...i want know what happens to us too.♥ i don't know how it'll really end (in the future), but 4 sure, we'll have a happy ending!!
hmmm.....i'll wait to see what everyone else says....but this makes me think....if most ppl see it as kate + toma anyway....then shouldn't i just make it about me and toma for the next fanfic?? lol. then i don't have to worry about toma not saying my name and writing extra stuff so that each person can personalize the story. i already barely write those extra stuff, in this fanfic.
(and paige, remember how i was really freaking out over this fanfic....kept saying i felt like i can't come up with any good ideas this time...lol. well, in the 1st draft, it really felt fast. i finished writing in only 11 days. but then it's during march that i got inspired and added so many scenes. thank goodness i somehow came up with all these extra ideas, and some of the sweetest ones, i just suddenly think of....sugoi ne! i need some more sweet ideas for this ending, kudasai!!!)
Hmm, it doesn't mean I am not affected.
Most of the stories written or movies are not designed to be your adventures, but you cry if you feel emotional, you laugh if it's funny, and feel sympathy if it's done well.
It's usually experienced vicariously.
paige,
i understand. of course you are affected and still enjoy the story. ~_~ exactly why i'm thinking of just changing it to be f/ my perspective and not everyone's.
i just meant that, sometimes it's better to be the observer and so u can see the whole story better, and "control the emotional aspect" better...u have control over the story and not the other way around, i mean...i guess...
(sorry if i'm not making sense. i ate A LOT of food today at a japanese restaurant. i'm still crazy full. it was kinda expensive (it was pretty good too), so i felt like i needed to eat as much as i can, finished mostly everything, to not be wasteful. lol. thanks, aniki~)
huh....that's weird. it says i have 86 comments when i'm logged in, at my blogger dashboard, but here there's only 85. ehh...
Awthe parents thing is so cute :D
Btw Kate-chan I feel half half.. mostly when there re situation where I would act totally different. I feel that's its more you. Or actually I think since the middle of the 2. fic or so I think it's more you than we xD
Butits ok :D
Hmm when I read it seems easier for me to picture it being you haha so I guess just write whatever way is easier. It doesn't matter to me :)
careline,
hai~ so sweet of him to talk about meeting his parents!! <3
thanks 4 yr thoughts about this! ah...yappari. i wish i could have done a better job of making it more "we" than "kate", but it's so hard.....but by now, i guess it doesn't matter anymore....even i don't think of the "me" in this fanfic as being myself sometimes. lol. xD
so~ you would be ok with me just changing it to kate + toma next time? right?
alisha,
*we posted at the same time!!!* sugoi ne!! lol.
souka, souka. yappari...
thanks for your input. ~_~
hi Kate! *Hugs*
gomenasai!! sorry for not commenting for a long, long time. just a lil lazy, troubled by work (hai hai, i'm no more a student like what Marie-chan thinks lol ... sigh this make me feel old!)
also, my attention was 'swerved' to someone/something else ... yeesss, i'm always distracted and that's the reason why i can't really read any books properly xD
well, i'll comment on your fanfic later (i'm like ... so lagging behind!), but since you asked for a vote, yeah, maybe u shld just put u (aka Kate) and Toma for the next fanfic. i think u would've notice by now that i'm always mentioning you (as Kate) and not we/us or me. possibly because it's still 'your 3rd fantasy encounter' with him ...and everyone has different fantasies somehow lol
I'll be back!
//Anjerin
SUGOI! That was totally wicked that we posted at the same time!! I do love this story and feel very attached to it even though I picture it as you I still feel like I am involved in the story. I like seeing how you react! It is really hard to write a story to involve so many different types of people even if you make the character fictional completely I think all of us readers will still feel totally immersed as if this our story. If that makes any sense at all XD Hope this helps. And I just love coming to read this everyday! (and yay for time difference because even when you miss a day by the time I get to it, you have written so it's like I get to read it everyday even when you skip a day of writing!)
JA, THANKS FOR THE COMMENTS, EVERYONE!! I'VE BEEN FEELING REALLY BUMMED ABOUT WRITING THE ENDING....BUT SEEING YR COMMENTS TODAY CHEERED ME UP!! THANKS SO MUCH!!♥ *hugs*
~ anjerin,
hi hi! *hugs again*
ah, no need to apologize~ i know u have good reasons for being away. i'm just glad you're back!! just cuz u're not a student anymore, doesn't mean you're old! but i know what u mean...
hai, u've got a lot of catching up to do!! xD
sou dayo...i think i will do that for the next fanfic. yes, i noticed. u're the person that got me started, saying "i" instead of "we" or something in my comments, so that made me feel even more, like it's my story. haha.
ja ne!
~ alisha,
THAT WAS SO~ AWESOME!! xD i just commented, and only saw yr post show up. EHH! had to refresh to see my own comment. i think that has only happened to me a couple times at my TL blog in, like, almost 3 yrs now. SUGEH!! ^_^V
awwww. arigatou ne~!♥ i'm glad u feel that way...i really do try to write it in a way, like everything is happening NOW~, and add certain details and pics so u can picture everything clearly...maybe that helps u feel like you're there~ too!
"I like seeing how you react!" eh?? sou deska?? haha. ~_~
sou desu....it's really really hard. -__-
yes, it does make sense. xD
i know what u're trying to say.
ah, that makes me happy that u look forward to reading my story each day!!♥ i know u've said it here before too, in my 2nd fanfic, too...i'm really happy u like my story that much!! ARIGATOU!! *hugs again*
oh, time difference. xD u're...3 hrs ahead of me. really? that's awesome for you. ~_~ i'm glad cuz of this, the days i skip updating don't affect u!
"I do love this story and feel very attached to it..." ahhh. me too. i really looooove my story and i am sooooo attached to it!! and i love how perfect, cute, cool, sweet, and adorable toma is in this fanfic. i feel like i don't want this dream to end. whatever u all feel for my story, i feel it, like 10 times more!! being the writer AND the main character, everything that happens in the story affects me so much.
so it's gonna be really hard for me to leave this world this time, cuz i've been so totally immersed in it since january. goodness, that's a long time!!! but i'll be ok. i'm just gonna cry a lot when i finally finish writing the ending. =( i was actually really happy when i finished it back in january, but that was the 1st draft and it was short and really not as emotional as this final version i've been posting up.....
I have to agree with Paige-chan, I do feel as thought this were a Kate and Toma thing, BUT I still enjoy this fanfiction wholeheartedly :]
I think you should just write it as a Kate+Toma. Plus, through our email conversations, we've already come to a conclusion that you and I are almost opposites in personality. You being more of an introvert and I an extrovert, and in this fanfic, the female protagonist is a "Kate" character. You should definitely go for it, and write it as a Kate+Toma. I support you!!! :D
Ehhhh... Anjerin-chan, you're done with school??? I feel as though I'm one of the youngest ones here and I'm not that young xD
marie-chan! *hugs*
(haha, every1 gets a hug today!)
i'm glad i saw yr comment be4 i go to sleep.
ah, i understand...~_~
i'm really happy to hear u say that. as long as u enjoyed it, u really liked it...that's what matters!! <3
hai...~_~
you're right....she is a Kate-like character. ^^ i can't help writing it that way...THANKS for the support!! <3
you're definitely not the youngest, cuz i know jee is (or turning?) 16. she's been reading my fanfic (but not commenting), but slower than you all...dunno which part she's up to. but i'm nervous about what she'll think when she gets to the hotel room scenes. >_<
well, i'm definitely one of the OLDEST here, but i don't mind. haha. i feel like a sempai and u all are my kouhai's! lol. no, no...i'm kidding. though jee and some other ppl have called me that. xD (i always prefer kate or kate-chan!)
Kate-chan~~
lol i just felt that perhaps i'm one of the oldest here ...but everyone says i don't look my age ...more like 5 yrs younger than what i'm actually is ^^
but Kate-chan, u looked kinda young too =)
well, i think i'm really lagging behind in the fanfic. OMG ...so many of those 'scenes'! perhaps it was the yaoi stuffs u r reading! perhaps this led u into fantasizing scenes like these lol
for me, i prefer those near missed moments earlier on, than those actually happened between u n Toma in the hotel room after the earthquake. even though u both didn't 'do' it that far, but still u both got half naked and other things started xD
hmmm perhaps i'm those rare people that prefer those sweet moments rather than those super hot ones =)
(alright, still got more reading and comments to go) ;)
Marie-chan ~~
Hai ... i'm done with those boring school work and projects a long time back! working has its advantages though ... we're free to spend our $$ xD
ah, to be young again ... r u still studying, Marie-chan?
//Anjerin
anjerin,
i see...^^
yes, i look way younger than my age. sometimes it's a gift...sometimes it's a curse. lol.
hai....the yaoi fanfics influenced me...but, well...i already wanted us to have some intense moments like that even before i read those fanfics....but i kinda regret writing so many of those~ scenes, i got really carried away!! thus my apologizing so much and again, for those scenes recently! -__- but like i said...i dunno...it felt right at the time....hai.... right, right, we practically did...just short of it, but still...i wonder if i should add a warning or something be4 those scenes...was it more than PG-13?? hmmm. but it was really...like more intensely emotional than sexy, and i didn't mention any...specific body parts...i guess i should be ok...
>////< SUMIMASEN!! i hope it didn't feel like there was too much of that~ for most of you....now i feel all guilty and pervy again.... >_<
ummm...if u feel that way, i don't think you'll like the onsen scene. ^^; after that, no more hot~ scenes, i promise!! haha.
It's ending..aww, kate, don't be sad, don't you know how wonderful you can have a ending, which wraps up the entire story. The joy is to have completion to a creation. The experience is always there, but not as much as having the written words to be remind (everytime u read again).
So, why don't u tell him then!!? You guys at the shrine, as the time go by, are getting sad b/c it's time to leave. Haha, I know you're waiting for the end, but...it feels kinda bittersweet (when it didn't have to..well, I'm still guessing it.....).
And, good on the 'admittance'. At least the reationship could be known to close family. It feels lonely to love so secretly.
Haa...the preganant amulet...lol.
paige,
thank you for your words of encouragement, you always know what to say to cheer me up. <3
you're right, of course...i will keep this in mind when i'm wrapping up the story tomorrow. i hope i'll feel more inspired and be able to give you all a nice ending to this story. and it'll still be sweet when i re-read it in the future... i haven't even re-read my 2nd fanfic much, cuz busy writing this, but i will re-read that too. (i've re-read my 1st fanfic a ton of times in 2009. lol.)
wow, i rarely see u use exclamation points, paige! o_o sorry, i know i'm dragging this thing out for too long! but i'll tell him...it'll be a very special scene! well, it's not that bittersweet, i think of it as most of our time at the shrine is fun and sweet, cuz we've....put it out of our minds, that i'm leaving soon. but no matter what the big news is, it's still very sad, cuz we'll miss each other so much when i have to leave this time. (i'm pretty sure your guess is correct! congrats! ^o^)
hai. ~_~ i really love how toma's willing to let his family know about us, eventually. "It feels lonely to love so secretly." hai...i love how u put it.
haha. deshou?
what's wrong with her? do i look like i'm pregnant?! lol. but that was a really fun scene to write. i love it when toma blushes... <3 and it felt so toma-like, that something embarassing like that, involving an obachan, would happen to him. xD he's got a lot of funny stories about his encounters with some obachans ne.
Kattteeee!!!
It's not bad to be old. I agree with Anjerin, you don't look that old either. When I first came to this site and saw your picture I thought you were at least a second year in college or so. And I agree, looking young can be a curse but also a gift.
Hopefully, Jee doesn't flip out and think that the bedroom scenes are too ecchi. I don't think they're that bad. People nowadays are exposed to so much more graphic things in movies and video games...
Anjerin-chan~!
Unfortunately, I'm still studying- yes. I'm a first year in college haha. Half the time I don't look like I am. I've been mistaken for being just 12. I don't really mind, but it sucks when I go to watch movies and people ask to see my school ID and they realize that I'm in college. Then there are moments when people think I'm older than I am.
I wish I had a job... I'm in need of one to help support my payments for school. The bad economy isn't much of a help in this situation, though...
I'm sorry, I went off on a tangent. Please don't think I'm crazy >.<
Kate-chan~~
it's not a curse to look younger! everyone wanna be that way (that includes me lol). no need to search for the fountain of youth when it's already within u xD
hey, no need to apologise! don't feel bad --- this makes me feel bad too lol hope my comments did not demotivate u in anyway ;) you're doing a good job spending so many nights completing this. it's still a very fun read! and no, u can't please everyone, so just write what u feel.
haha, not sure whether it's PG-13 or 18, but i think most of us are above 13 or 18 already. daijoubu, don't worry Kate-chan!
i think the onsen scenes are alright ... it's natural to think a lil dirty when u r in a steamy bath after u both almost did it the day before xD
Meiji shrine ...i've been there last year. nice place, quiet =) it's a long, quiet walk to the shrine. already trying hard 'to learn how to be a japanese'?? lol this shows how serious u both are! seems like the relationship's progressing nicely =)
Marie-chan~~
LOL we won't think u r crazy. we understand how u feel about the funds for college expenses! not cheap! just hang in there girl! wow, only 1st year in college? sometimes we do get pissed off by not looking our age lol ... daijoubu, just be yourself ;)
Off topic -- i'm so bummed after hearing the news on TVXQ/Tohoshinki that they are stopping their activities as a group sigh! but interacting here with you guys makes me feel much better =)
//Anjerin
~ marie-chan,
thanks~ really? ah, some ppl have even said i look like a high school student. lol. well, i already warned her about it, so hopefully she'll be fine. haha. yeah, it's not that ero!
(oh, and gambarre!! about what u talked about w/anjerin.)
~ anjerin-chan,
i thought u might say this. haha~ well, it can be very annoying when ppl don't take you seriously because they think you're really young....but i guess it's mostly a good thing. (u know, the person most jealous of how young i look is actually my older brother. lol. every now and then, he'd say he wished he also looked so much younger than his age.)
ah, it's ok, i'm fine. i felt a little guilty and pervy again for a little while, but what's done is done. i've accepted it....not everyone will like what i wrote, but oh well. xD i liked it! some other ppl liked it!!
ARIGATOU!! <3 i have lost a lot of sleep over this, but it's been fun updating almost every night....i'm glad i only skipped very few days.
hai...^^ thanks. i'm not even sure if jee is still reading my fanfic, so... she's the only person i know is under 18.
lol. thanks...i'm glad u didn't mind the onsen part. hai...it's hard not to think dirty thoughts after what happened between us. >///<
SUGOI!! another person who's really been to the shrine...i hope since u've really been there, it feels a little more real.... ah, don't know how long the path is to the shrine though, so i was vague about the timing while we're there. haha.
yes, of course i'm trying to be more like a japanese person! *_* it's only right, and i want to fit in while i'm there. hai~ our relationship is already quite serious. <3
(i'm glad u feel better cuz of talking to us here!! gambarre!!)
re-reading the ending to see if i need to edit anything got me so emotional....*cries*
actually, i think i don't need to edit anything, and i don't want to edit, risk the text getting all squished together again.
i'm sorry, i forgot the part where i say something about studying/working in japan....but i'm sure if u're in school, still, it won't be too tough to transfer to a school there. kyoto's a big, quite international city, ne~
ah~ i really LOVED the part where toma says "don't go. stay here with me." he didn't try to say something like it's ok, we'll see each other soon...he just said what he was really feeling.♥
and~ toma's dream is soooooo sweet!!
and~ i like the part when he kisses me repeatedly. ~_~ and this part, where he's mad/happy/mad/happy. lol. partly inspired by paige, because u seemed so frustrated that i'm taking forever to tell him the news. iya...i imagine toma would be really mad i didn't tell him sooner, right?
and~ that last kiss!! sweet....
(actually, we already kissed in public twice, at the library, and then at the mori tower, in the 2nd fanfic. LOL. but those places, we were sure no one else is around, and it was indoors. but this is the first kiss in public, where it's more risky, cuz it's outdoors. that's what i meant. xD)
........like i said before, i really dunno when i'll write the 4th fanfic, to continue the story. but i hope when i do, you will all come back and read it!! onegaishimas!!
in the meantime, u can always go to ai_zutto to read toma fanfics ne! http://community.livejournal.com/ai_zutto/
ummm...i'll say it here and then again at my thoughts post, but...
THANK YOU, EVERYONE FOR READING MY FANFIC!!!!!♥
THANK YOU, EVERYONE, FOR COMMENTING!!!!!!!♥
I REALLY PUT MY HEART AND SOUL INTO IT, AND I'M REALLY PROUD OF IT. IT TOOK YOU AROUND 1 MONTH TO READ THE WHOLE THING, BUT IT TOOK ME AROUND 3 MONTHS (well, i worked on it on and off) TO WRITE IT!! but really....it's all worth it. i'm happy that my fanfic could make some of you so happy, that some of you looked forward to my update everyday~ and i really had a lot of fun writing it. well...sometimes it wasn't so fun, but it really was mostly fun!! lol. ahhh, so many sweet, touching, fun, *hot* moments with toma......♥
I'M GOING TO POST SOME MORE THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS FANFIC AT THE LINK BELOW. PLEASE DO READ IT~ THANKS! http://andonthatrainyday.blogspot.com/2010/03/kates-writing-process-notes-and-pics.html
see...seee, look what good news can do! He would so react that way too (getting lil mad at not knowing earlier). It's such a big thing.
And what? even your family doesn't know who this guy is, and you're almost 'eloping' to Japan?! Sounds dramatic.
So, it's a wrap - with a happy ending.
paige,
i'm so glad you're the first to comment about the ending ne. ~_~
"He would so react that way too" sou des! gomen, gomen! i really should have told him sooner. there were so many moments that i could have told him, too.
umm...yeah. it is dramatic. lol. i didn't put much thought into that part, but i figure i wouldn't be able to tell my family who he is...no one knows who my boyf is at this point. not even ivy. i guess i could just lie and tell them i want to move to japan for a different reason altogether, that they would more likely accept, but then that didn't feel right either. but...in the future, they'll understand why i had to do this...
there were 2 things that i for sure wanted to happen in this fanfic. 1st is some kinda bed scene...and the 2nd is that i'd tell him i'm moving to japan. from the next fanfic...it'll be so much easier for us to see each other. still a long distance relationship, but... ~_~
"So, it's a wrap - with a happy ending." hai... =')
sugoi! omedetou Kate-chan for finally completing the fanfic! it has a bittersweet ending (of course it's temporary until u stay in Kyoto permanently) ... sigh, it's so touching! u have a great tomodachi Ivy who has helped in making your dream come true =)
these are Toma's sweet gestures that i like =) he gently holds ur hands comforting u, even can't control his tears! so nice of him to finally able to show his emotions more in public. well, it might be hard leaving your family and friends behind, but sacrifice must be done somehow. and awww, sweet kiss in the end! <3 <3
just to rewind on the meiji shrine --> yeah it's really a long walk (the path is laid with lots of stones) and yeah, u r right, there are lots of trees surrounding and that's why u and Toma were able to hide behind some of those trees lol
the purification fountain! its cooling and clean water flowing ... i remember that i actually used it to clean my hands instead of following the purification steps xD i'm not a good girl huh.
*thumbs up!* omedetou again! i enjoyed reading it all these weeks ;)
//Anjerin
anjerin,
arigatou!!! <3 hai...it's bittersweet...we'll miss each other A LOT during this time when i am not in kyoto yet. hai...i really cried when i re-read it. mm! it's all thanks to her. <3 it worked out a little too perfectly, but... ~_~
yes, me too. ~_~ so sweet how he was comforting me, holding my hands, and he cried too... it will be so hard to leave them behind, but i know it'll be harder to not be with toma, so.... the kiss at the end!! ~_~ of course we need a sweet kiss after all that happened...
ah, thanks for the info about the shrine! hai...i just saw f/the pics...we can hide there. ~_~ ah, u didn't follow the rules?? lol. i like the purification fountain...it's pretty too!
thank you!! *bows*
i'm really glad u liked reading my story!! <3
remember the part in the story, where i said i'm calling him for the first time. BA~KA. i totally forgot that i already called him once, the first night. but then, that was cuz he told me to call him when i'm back at my hotel. i didn't call him any other time on my own. haha.
anjerin, u got to post the 107th comment!! toma's bday. 10/7. sugoi~!
EH?!! first it was the posting time at 1.07am, then the 107th comment! wow, is this fated? lol
i realized your last post was at 1.04pm. just 3 mins away!
it's ok, small details like whether how many times u called Toma ...all these are immaterial. we readers are not able to detect these stuffs anyway (but maybe some can?). daijoubu!
//Anjerin
anjerin-chan,
it can't be a coincidence!! xD
oh, that's right! sugoi!
so close...
hai...i think so too, but i can't help pointing out mistakes that i make....i only noticed it right now cuz was rereading some of the story, cuz salome is only now reading it...oh well. hopefully no one else noticed. haha.
hmm...waiting for comments f/other ppl about the ending..... *_*
Hi, Kate!! <3
I read all the updates since part #10 in about 3 days. I got exhausted because it's difficult for me read in the pc but I really can't stop reading it, because it was becoming more and more interesting :D
I really love all the parts, without exceptions. That parts that... well... *blush* were more hotter, you really write them very well, I could imagine it, you describe it so well ^^
I hope I could comment you these past days as you were updating, but I couldn't T_T Gomen ne!
Are you thinking about a continuation of the fanfic?? I hope you could do more chapters about "you"/"me" living in Kyoto.
Ah! About the question you did, I think "me"=Kate too hehehe, you could write the fanfic like you want ^^ I love the story anyway <3
Take care!
Bye ^^
isabel-chan!
konbanwa! ~_~
ahh, really?? i'm really happy you read it all so quickly!! haha. thank u, thank u!! <3
hounto? ~_~ ah, those hot parts. lol.
>////< thanks, i really tried to make it hot, and it felt so real, too.
it's alright!! i'm just glad you came back and read the rest of the story. ~_~ cuz u know, this story would not exist if not for you. so i should THANK YOU!! arigatou!! *hugs*
haha, i knew u would ask me this. of course!! *_* i'm thinking of writing some one-shots (very short fanfics), sometimes, be4 i write a long one later in the year. that would be so much easier, if i keep it short. i'd really like that....
ehh, u too? seems like everyone thinks it's me. lol. ok, thanks for telling me.
ahhhh, part of me feels as if toma is really my boyf. >///<
BA~KA!!!!!!!
take care, too!
bye bye~
Anjerin~
thank you! Haha and you're right, it definitely isn't cheap! I'm still in search of a job, but my mom wants me to work during the summer, and I think she's right.
Kate~
hai! Gambarimasu~! I loved, loved, loved the sweet ending. A kiss is a lot more appropriate than a hug in this situation because you just told him how you're going to move to Japan and such. This fanfic left me in a good mood :D
P.S. I'm soooo sorry for the late response. I had a psychology exam last week and I spent an entire day studying for it. Then I had a history paper due so I had to keep busy. I actually read the final part of the fanfic the day you posted it, but I was so busy I couldn't reply >.<
Hope you write another one soon Kate! No pressure, of course!!! :DDD
marie-chan!!
finally u post a comment about the ending. ~_~
ARIGATOU NE!!!! <3 <3
u're right...ah, i really love that last kiss so much!! so sweet...
souka souka...it's alright! i'm really really glad u like the ending so much. i really tried my best with the ending...to make it sweet and kinda set things up for the next fanfic.
ahaha!! xD i think i won't write another one anytime soon. but i might try writing some really short one-shots later...
Ohhh one shots are a bunch of fun too! You can have short phone conversations with Toma or something~!
Good luck, Kate-chan! :DDD
right...maybe... =)
thanks, marie-chan! =D
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