my 3rd (fantasy) encounter with toma: and so we watched a movie together~ ♥ (part 1)

2010-03-05T20:21:00.003-08:00

SO! HERE ARE THE BASICS U NEED TO KNOW,
IN CASE U HAVE NOT READ THE 1ST or 2nd STORIES:
(those of u who already have, ARIGATOU!! dewa, pls skip this part!)

-this is an interactive fanfiction. i have not met toma (yet!). so just pretend that "me" is you and ENJOY!!

-because most of u and i cannot speak japanese, this has to be written in english, though of course u know toma can barely speak it/understand it in real life. just pretend that u're speaking japanese, but i've translated it to english.

-also, pretend u can read/write japanese pretty well, cuz u mostly kept in touch w/toma thru email!

-however, i like sticking in some japanese phrases now and then. check out the vocab list below for the translations if u need it! (sorry if i make any mistakes, i am trying to learn japanese, but i still know very little. a lot of it is taken f/dramas or video clips i've watched of toma...pls correct me if u see any mistakes!)

-KEY:
toma=toma and me=you!
ANYTHING WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS MEANS YOU'RE SHOUTING!
ANYTHING WRITTEN IN ( ) DESCRIBES THE SITUATION, or MEANS YOU'RE THINKING IT. or other stuff...should be self-explanatory.
ANYTHING WRITTEN IN [ ] is my explanation of something. or other stuff...should be self-explanatory.

-oh, there are numbers like this sometimes in the text: (2). it means that this part has an explanation...a special reason i wrote this, or it was an idea i got from a tv show, or whatever...anyway, i'll also get that list up soon....

march6 EDIT:
this is when i announced that i'm posting up this fanfic!]
http://ikutatomalove.blogspot.com/2010/03/finally-this-evening-we-can-be-together.html

AND YOU REALLY SHOULD READ MY 2ND FANFIC (LINKED ON THE RIGHT) BEFORE YOU READ THIS, BUT IF NOT, YOU CAN STILL UNDERSTAND AND ENJOY THE STORY!!

also, i'm linking to way too many pics this time. sorry i didn't link them for u, but please just copy and paste the link into your browser and save me a lot of time. lol. i'll still directly link some though...

and PLEASE CLICK ON THE PICS TO SEE THEM IN *FULL SIZE*!

*march 9 EDIT*:
sorry, the story's getting so long, my other posts have been pushed to the next page. for some reason, some don't show up at all?! but just click on them from the Blog Archive on the right side (right under toma's pic of him walking in the rain) and they will show up!!

________________________________________

(well, this is not a book, but it almost feels like i've been writing a book all this time, so i'd like to have a dedication!!)

This fanfic is dedicated to the following toma fans...
and yappari, toma-kun.♥

isabel,
thank you for requesting that i write a third fanfic, even when i hadn't finished the 2nd one yet! (laughs) and then your last comment there was a big reason why this 3rd fanfic exists at all. really~ i didn't think of writing a 3rd fanfic (at least not so soon). and also, paige, thanks for saying you'd like to see what happens next at the premiere. because of you two, i thought "i guess i really should write a third one!!"

Blogger Isabel said...

I love this fanfic!! LOVE IT! The end was so nice and I hope there will be a third part in February. PLEASE! ^o^ This story is so sweet (Toma is so sweet in it hehehe)! I like it so much! Thanks, Kate *.*

January 14, 2010 3:51 AM

paige,
thank you for your support and ideas from the very start. it was fun to keep this secret together ne? maybe some time, we could really write the next part of this fanfic together. i would really really like that. (plus, cuz i've really run out of ideas. lol.) and thank you so much for offering to make a banner for my story, too!! (it's like u read my mind!) i love all your art. keep up the great work~!

cezie,
thank you for the birthday present!! you didn't know it at the time, but it gave me more~ energy~ to write this fanfic!! and made me realize anew, how toma and toma's fans are so cute and wonderful.....therefore, I MUST MUST WRITE A GOOD FANFIC FOR YOU AND ALL OTHER TOMA FANS TO IMAGINE....WHAT IF....YOU WERE TOMA'S GIRLFRIEND.♥

careline,
i'm so happy that you were able to see toma in person and he saw you and smiled at you...your experience is very inspiring and reminds me that dreams really can come true. thank you. and the very start of this fanfic, part 1, was my way of making my (and all of toma's fans') dream of meeting toma come true. cuz i think that most of us would never get to see him in real life. but now u don't really need my story, you've already met him for real. ^^ ah, i'm so envious!!! i'm most nervous about u reading this fanfic, cuz you were REALLY THERE....

when you said in the comment at the end of my 2nd fanfic, that u were thinking that you'll definitely be at the premiere of ningen, i had no idea that u really meant it!! u really came all the way f/germany to watch his movie and saw him too. you really must be one of his biggest fans. i wish toma could know that...SOMEONE needs to tell him that! (and of course, thank you for your talking about meeting him and all your pics...from you, i got important info that i could use for my story!!)

toma,
what can i say....i'm so happy for your success. i'm just so happy. you deserve all this and much more. you've worked so hard. you're still~ working so hard. i love you. we all love you... though at times, i really had trouble writing this fanfic, but watching u on tv shows or seeing your pictures, hearing your voice, or reading your news....seeing your smile, and how humble and adorable but also, serious and cool you are....it just warms my heart and soul. and inspires me to write more...toma, i'm glad i could pretend that i am there with you during this most important and unforgettable time in your life....toma, "you don't know lovely you are~" and "always know that you shine brighter than anyone does." daisuki da yo!! it's been really fun and sweet, pretending to be your girlf!!♥ arigatou gozaimashita!!

__________________________

ano....i found way too many nice pics/gifs of toma where i thought, "i could use this in my story...toma wearing this or toma smiling like this, etc." but then there's too much, so in case i forget to use it in my story, i'll just list them all HERE: http://andonthatrainyday.blogspot.com/2010/03/kates-notes-and-links-bunch-of-info.html. lol. i hope looking at these pics/gifs will make u feel closer to toma while reading my story....at least help u picture his expressions, smiles, gestures, clothes, hair, etc.!!!!! ^0^ [SORRY SOME OF IT NEEDS TO BE ORGANIZED, I'LL EDIT THIS LIST SOON!]

____________________ OK, THE STORY'S FINALLY STARTING NOW!!! yey. ~_~
(gomen, no time to turn all the hearts red now, i'll do it later. lol.)

[at a place like this....not in hokkaido, but i imagine our spot to be like this!! totally... ^^
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beautifultragedy1111/2850399943/
or this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/konaboy/60751924/in/set-1421125/.
and a pink-ish purple sunset, like this...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/darrellwyatt/4408950877/in/pool-dailyrayofhope. (inspired by that scene in hanamizuki! http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4006/4326784861_3449bda9fb_o.png.)]

4:48pm @a mountain overlooking the sea...in Kushiro, Hokkaido.

Toma and i are sitting next to each other, staring at the beautiful sunset...it's cold, but we're dressed warmly...a light, cold breeze is blowing...

toma: (quietly) [yr name]...

me: (turn to look at him...the wind is gently blowing his hair...he is so cute...ah~ kawaii ne.♥)

toma: (a serious look on his face...quietly) i...i really love you so much...

me: (softly~) toma...(smiles) atashi mou...

toma: (carefully takes out a ring from his pocket!! he holds it out to me...and looks straight at me....quietly~) will you marry me?

me: (shocked! softly~) eh?

[it's a simple silver ring, something like these...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gudanowski/4173592392/. in a white box like this:
http://dingo.care2.com/pictures/c2c/share/13/139/937/1393799_431.jpg.
and it's engraved...it says: toma's ♥. that means "toma's love" or "toma's heart"....~_~ (edit: oops, toma took the ring f/his jeans pocket, so no ring box here! but i imagine it would be kept in a simple white box like this, and it's a pair. for me, engraved inside is "toma's ♥" and for his, it would say "[yr name]'s ♥". ~_~)]

toma: i mean it...(he continues to look intently at me...)

me: (teary-eyed) toma! (i hug him tight)

toma: (hugs me, smiling) you didn't answer me yet!

me: (still hugging him tight) hai!!

toma: (gently pulls away, looks at me, smiling, sweetly~) yokatta~.

I see the engraving on the ring...Toma's ♥. ~_~ he holds my hand, carefully removing the crisscrossing ring he gave me last year, and slips on the new ring, on to my ring finger... i look at the ring...i look back up at him...i...i'm getting married!! to toma....!! i can't believe it...it feels like i'm dreaming...

toma smiles (kyaa!! kakkoii!♥) and...leans over to kiss me... just as our lips almost touch...my phone rings!! [the ringtone is jay chou's A Secret I Can't Tell. but u can think of it as whatever song u like most right now...]

toma: (pauses) u should get that.

me: (no! not now! who's the idiot that's ruining our sweet moment?? i shake my head) no, it's probably nothing important.

I reach in my pocket to turn off my phone...but i can't find it?? where is it...why does it keep ringing, but i don't see it...

i suddenly wake up!
i'm in my room...it WAS a dream! i look at my alarm clock: 1:07am. but why...why couldn't we kiss BEFORE i wake up?! i grab my cellphone, next to my pillow. i see the name on the screen...Toma ♥. eh!! he rarely calls me this late...i sit up and flip open the phone.

me: (sleepy) moshi mosh.

toma: (sweetly) doumo! ore da~ your husband~.

me: eh...(still sleepy)
(i have been playfully calling him "husband" lately, and he has also started calling me his wife...♥)

toma: (laughs, cutely~) usooo~ toma dayo~ (1)

me: hai, shittemas. (ah~ kawaii!!♥)
(annoyed) mou...you interrupted my sweet dream! (ah, but i'd rather talk to the real toma, of course!)

toma: hounto? sorry for calling so late...what were you dreaming about?

me: (embarassed) ano...

toma: (shyly) eh! u saw me in your dream ne?

me: (more embarassed) chigao! eh...why did u call me?

toma: (seriously~) actually...i'm worried...it's raining so much and there are thunderstorms, too. your flight might be delayed...i...i hope you can make it here in time... ano...maybe you shouldn't come after all...

me: i know the weather's bad...but...daijoubu! i promised i'd be there with you on February 19th, and i will, no matter what!

toma: (happily) mm! sou desu...kitto daijoubu ne. (sweetly~) i can't wait to see you~.

me: (softly~) atashi mou.

toma: (cheerfully~) ja, i'll see you soon! (softly) oyasumi...

me: (sweetly) oyasumi. ja ne...
(i flip close the phone and lie down again, curling up under the covers....ah, i hope i can continue my dream...

I'm back on the mountain with toma....i turn off my cellphone and lay it on the grass.

toma: who called?

me: uh...just a friend...
(now, where were we...)

toma smiles and and leans over and kisses me gently, pulling me closer... ahhh... and the sun is setting and the sky darkens...

[lovely twilight sky... http://www.flickr.com/photos/fortphoto/799357336/]

2010 February 18
2:35pm @ (on) the airplane

i'm sitting in my seat, looking at the March Duet magazine...but i'm distracted. toma said he's gonna be on a tv show with jude law today!! maybe they're filming it right now!! i never thought i'd say toma and jude law in the same sentence. xD SUGOI!! but more importantly!! i'm gonna be able to see toma soon!! i'm so hyper!! ^O^ i'm not scared...though we're flying through a big storm...it's been raining non-stop, and i keep seeing flashes of lightning...

ok, i guess i'm a little scared, but i promised him i'd come! and i really really do want to see him and watch his FIRST EVER movie with him!! i can't let some bad weather ruin our plans... i flip open my cellphone. yaparri, my cellphone wallpaper is a cute pic of toma that he sent me recently! ~_~

[any pic where he's looking directly into the camera and maybe being a bit flirty...like these! ^_^
http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomacollection17/2423859919/
[wink]
http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomacollection17/2087076230/in/photostream/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomacollection17/2079592383/
[flirting w/you...]

suddenly, the plane starts shaking!! more and more violently!! the flight attendants tell us to stay calm...it's alright, it's just turbulence...but everyone is freaking out...there's been turbulence, but...it's really shaking so hard now!! some people start crying, praying, hugging their loved ones...

this...this can't be the end!! i can't die here!! i look at toma's picture on my cellphone... toma, i wish you were here! i'm scared! (wait, what am i saying?? why would i want us both to die? but you know what i mean...) but in case i really don't make it...i quickly grab a pen and a small notebook from my bag. i tear out 2 pieces of paper, 1 for my family/friends, and one for toma. i quickly write a message to them. and then for toma... i write "to Toma" on one side and start writing on the other side:

Toma,

(.......)

------the Granbell Hotel in shibuya. the building:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/tensafefrogs/3569175129/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/unrest23/2657671147/
[during the day & night]
-------the cool entrance to the hotel. a huge wooden door that swings open...:
#### http://www.flickr.com/photos/erichkova/2499061718/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/fueledbycoffee/3688835810/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ferrarisimo/3265591960/in/set-72157613526491788/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/64973379@N00/2510909552/
-----the small, but neat and cool hotel room looks like:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ferrarisimo/3265589494/
[the door of the room]

[A VIDEO CLIP W/THE SOUND OF RAIN FALLING AND SOME THUNDER...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pSyYhRYeIM]

[THE ANNEX SINGLE room...credit:
http://www.granbellhotel.jp/facilities/index_e.html]

4:36pm @ my hotel room, at the Granbell Hotel in Shibuya.

i'm sitting on the bed in my hotel room...it's still raining outside. good lord, that was too scary....our plane landed safely, but most of us on the plane were scared to death... i told myself earlier, "i'll be there even if it kills me!" but i don't mean it literally!! i'm definitely not gonna tell toma, though. i don't want him to worry or feel guilty or anything...i've already calmed down a lot by now, anyway...luckily toma was busy promoting the movie, so he couldn't come to the airport to pick me up. or else he'd be able to tell something was wrong by looking at my pale face...he just called me a short while ago...he'll be here soon.

someone knocks on the door...it must be toma! i run to the door and immediately open it. it is toma!! he smiles sweetly at me. [toma's wearing some kinda cool outfit with a layered look like this. and that's the umbrella he's got with him too! and he's got a shoulder bag on like in my last fanfic...kinda like ryosuke's in Voice. http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/485/april20081.jpg (probably got this pic f/strawberry_gemm's toma gallery)]

me: (gives him a big hug) toma!

toma: (looks around nervously) chotto... (he gestures for me to go back in the room. i let go of him and he comes inside. he hangs his wet, clear umbrella on the doorknob, and closes the door. he turns around, and i cling to him again...)

me: (i bury my face in his shoulder...i thought i'd never see you again, toma!!)

toma: (hugs me tightly, and softly says) i missed you.

me: (a little teary-eyed) i missed you! i missed you so much!

toma lets go of me and looks at me sweetly...and i look at him...(kyaa!!♥ still can't believe this handsome guy is my boyfriend now! *doki doki*)

he leans over and gives me a quick, gentle, kiss. toma's soft lips...oh, how i missed kissing him...

toma: (smiles) i'm really so glad you could come, [yr name] i hope it wasn't too much trouble for you...

me: (smiles) iie. i told you...for you, i'd be here no matter what! (no trouble at all...just that i almost died, flying here...haha...oh God.)

toma: (nodds, holds my hand, sweetly~) mm! arigatou ne. (i smile and look down shyly...)

toma: ah, did you cut your hair? (1.5)

me: (smiles) hai! thanks for noticing~! (especially cut it for this trip!)

toma: (smiles) and you're wearing a skirt...kawaii~! ♥

me: arigatou!

[toma likes girls in skirts, especially above the knee skirts + knee-high boots...
u're wearing some kinda sweater+skirt+boots combination. kinda like this:

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4056/4366370221_b435c9e010_o.png
[sweater hoodies]
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2793/4302048983_45337edb44_o.png
[general skirt + boots look...]

can't find exactly what i'm looking for...but the skirt should be more flowy!! remember, toma likes those skirts that are "floats and floats" haha. floating skirts...kinda like these....
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2689/4302048661_e0babd4512_o.png
[3 dresses]
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4009/4302798730_196dea5cf0_o.png
[more yesstyle skirts]

toma: but it's really cold....
(throughout my story, i keep saying it's COLD there. it was cold in tokyo then. the highs in the 40s and lows in the high 30s (F). so that's almost 10 degrees C is the high, lows is near 0 degrees C!! here's a screencap i made of the actual forecast for those days: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_jm6-5TTfYyE/S3Y3dCnaBEI/AAAAAAAAD7w/WKPJvn8Ne2c/s1600-h/weatherTOMASTOPSTHERAIN!!.PNG)

me: daijoubu. i've got on many layers underneath...(quietly) i want to look nice for toma today...we haven't seen each other in so long...

toma: (smiles) souka... (sweetly) you look very pretty today ne~.

me: (*blush* i don't care if my legs freeze, it's worth it if toma thinks i look pretty in this skirt!! lol.) (softly~) sou deska? (i think my face is all RED now...oh, red...that reminds me...)

ah, i have something for you, toma. chotto...(i get it from my bag)

toma: eh?

i had stopped at the department store earlier to buy it for him...it's a small red box of chocolates (and i tied a nice red ribbon around it, too)! a late valentine's day gift. i take out the box and hand it to him with both hands...

me: (shyly) douzo~ (looking down...) i'm sorry it's late...but i wanted to give it to you myself, so i didn't send you chocolates earlier... [only sent him a V Day card. and of course, toma said he'll get me something for White Day.]

[it looks something like this! http://www.flickr.com/photos/tinaylin/3415748222/]

toma: (bites his lip, taking the box, cheerfully~) ah...kire! (gives me a quick hug)
doumooooo. i'll save it for later... (he puts it in his bag)

he plops down on the bed and looks around the room, thoughtfully... ahhh. there's a boy in my room...sitting on my bed...and that boy is toma...♥ i sit down on the chair, across from him.

toma: what a pretty and neat room ne...

me: ma...(it'd better be, for the price i'm paying! around US$100 per night! but i'm only staying a few nights, and the rooms are nice (and not TINY), and it's close to the shibuya station (only around 3 minutes away!!). so, it's worth it, i guess...)

toma: ah, this bed is quite comfortable, too! (he lays down for a moment...)

me: (toma's lying on my bed!! *blush* nervously~) ano...kyo wa...eh...where are we going?

toma: (sits up, thoughtfully~) mm...it's raining so much...i think we should stay inside.

me: eh?? (inside? here? just the 2 of us?!)

toma: (smiles) jitsuwa...i remember you said you wanted to see jam-chan?

me: hai! oh, u mean take jam for a walk? (do they let dogs inside the malls here? hmm...where can we walk her inside, out of the rain...)

toma: (looking down, quietly) actually...i meant...do you want to come home with me...

me: (EHHHHHHH ??!!) (softly~) eh?

toma: (scratches behind his ear) ano...my parents and little brother went to my cousin's wedding today. they probably won't be back until late at night.....i thought we could just watch a movie or something at home...

me: (UWAAAA!!! *__* ...i try to stay calm...) souka...

toma: tomorrow's going to be quite a chaotic and busy day for me...dakara... (he looks at me, purses his lips, and sweetly~) today~ i want to be home and quietly~ spend it with you~ ♥ (2)

me: *melts* (kyaa!! i'd love to go home with you, toma!!♥♥ ...softly~) iyo...

GAHH!! I'M GOING TO SEE TOMA'S HOUSE!!!
i'm going to see...toma's room.♥

toma: (smiles, stands up, cheerfully~) yeosh! ikemashou! mm...we should stop at the depahika to buy some food. our timing is perfect! there's lots of discounts before it's closing time! (laughs)

[depachika= basement of department store that sells food. they close at 5pm. but it's more like a food court, but with a lot of yummy, inexpensive food!! but there's also pricey gourmet food too. 4 MORE info, go to the info post below.]

me: hai! (laughs)

i put my shoulder bag around my shoulder. toma's already got an umbrella, so i don't bring mine. we walk out of the room, and i shut the door.

It's raining heavily. crazy rain rain rain.♪ toma and i walk closely under the umbrella he's holding.♥ ahhh~ just a few minutes later, though....it stops raining. EHHH!! the clouds part a little...light streams through the clouds... and then i remember...during the Maou filming, it rained a lot. but whenever toma appeared, it would become sunny!! he really IS a good-looking sunshine boy!! xD (3.5)

me: (i look at toma, amazed!) toma, you really made the rain stop...sugoi!! ^O^

toma: ehhh?? masaka...(laughs)
(he closes the umbrella) sugeh! (looks up at the sky) (4)

the sun is almost setting, but it's still quite bright still...the sky and clouds are lit up beautifully...we walk towards shibuya station (the nearest depachika is in the Tokyu department store, above the station). seems like everywhere i look, i see those RED ningen shikkaku posters....sugoi!! ^O^ it's a little surreal... xD we cross the always chaotic shibuya station...a sea of umbrellas...and we reach Tokyu.

[bentos! http://www.flickr.com/photos/yuenkay/4142299494/
and pastries! http://www.flickr.com/photos/dessertcomesfirst/1484761415/]

4:48pm @Tokyu Food Show (depachika @Tokyu)

me: sugeh.... (so much yummy food to choose from! everything looks delicioussss.)

toma: (looks around. it's quite crowded...) ah. kedo, for a home date, i'd be really happy if you could make something for me...

me: (turn and look at him, embarassed~) i'd like to try...but u know i can't really cook...

toma: (puts one arm around my shoulder, smiling)
ii dateh. boku mou...but it'd be nice, one day, when we have more time....if we could try cooking nikujaga together ne! (5)

me: (i don't even know what that is! but i'd love to!! note to self: buy a japanese cookbook! cheerfully~) hai!
(and it makes me think of when toma had to cook on a tv show in 2008! lol. http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y155/Nut4Long/LJ/tfs/tomabday2chubao1-1.jpg)

we walk around, looking at all the different bentos, sweets, etc. ^_^ whenever he sees something he likes, toma makes that funny/cute face, where his mouth is wide open, kinda like this!
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_jm6-5TTfYyE/SL-UY_IOkLI/AAAAAAAABEg/IgDH6irgOHM/s1600-h/HELP!Box+cuteness-silliness+overload!!.PNG

ka~waii!!

and at one point, toma leans close to me and whispers "Ja, what would my wife like to eat tonight? ♥" *blush* and toma laughs...[kinda like this! http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/9/9/209169/thumbsupw81x.gif]

[ppl standing in the train...but it should be super crowded, not empty like in this pic, of course...http://www.flickr.com/photos/bhaktano1/133018632/]

So...we each choose a bento and buy some pastries too...we leave and get on a train. toma says it won't take long to get there, to his family's apartment building. it's too crowded, and there's only enough space left for 1 person to sit, so toma stands so that i can sit. he stands in front of me, and there's a lot of other ppl standing around him...

I'M SO NERVOUS!! about coming home with him...!! ah...what could happen....when the 2 of us are alone... *blush* *doki doki* right then, someone taps me on the shoulder. i turn around...

eh!! it's a cute guy...a nino look-alike!! [or whoever u like...any ikemen that can make u doki doki...] (5.5)

[of course, u know who nino is?? but in case u don't: some nino cuteness, taken from my own magazine collection. xD
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2708/4330960949_0d93a2d3c2_o.png]

[we're whispering]

me: hai?

ikemen: (smiles) konnichiwa. have we met before? you look familiar...

me: (smiles) iie...(toma's looking at us...)

ikemen: (embarassed) sou deska? gomenasai.

me: iie. (kawaii! ~_~)

ikemen: ah...i'm glad it stopped raining finally!

me: (nodds) atashi mou!

we politely talk for maybe 10 minutes....turns out, he's from america. ah, he really looks a lot like nino!! but cuter! and he seems like a friendly and nice guy...it's not like we're flirting or anything, but he does seem interested in me...and i think toma's getting jealous. but he doesn't say anything...and now it's time to get off the train.

ikemen: (he writes down something on a piece of paper and hands it to me. shyly~) ano...here's my email...if you'd like to be friends...

me: umm...hai. (smiles)

ikemen: hounto ni? (smiles)
(he stands up...ppl are starting to leave...)

me: but...i don't want you to misunderstand...i already have a boyfriend, so...

ikemen: (he looks a little disappointed, but then he smiles) souka...demo, i'm glad we can be friends. dewa, matta! (he walks away)

I put the piece of paper in my bag and stand up. toma looks mad and walks ahead of me out of the train. he's definitely jealous...we get on the next train. this time, it's also very crowded, and both of us are standing, squeezed between a bunch of other people...we're pushed close together....so close, i could kiss him!! kyaa!♥ *doki doki* but toma still looks upset... (6)

[we're whispering...toma's quiet voice...!♥]

me: (i lightly touch his arm) gomen ne.

toma: eh?

me: really, i just think he's a nice guy...i don't like him or anything! since we have some things in common...i thought it'd be nice to make a new friend...

toma: ba~ka. (taps my head, pouting cutely) wakaterru yo.
[toma's pout...something like this... http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_jm6-5TTfYyE/SNVQs7jsqqI/AAAAAAAABMY/zrXmSimcwCc/s1600-h/toma+calendar+pout.PNG]

me: (smiles)
(ah, thank goodness he's not really mad!)

toma: (looks down, quietly~) iya~ he's a cute guy ne? i...i guess i just don't like it when you talk to other guys...

me: (i look at him...awww. he's so cute!!♥♥ even when he's jealous, he's super cute and understanding!! toma, now u know how i feel...when i see you with your love interest in your dramas or movies, or stage plays...)

toma: (smiles sweetly) but of course, i know... (leans closer, whispers in my ear, cutely~) you only have me in your heart ne~.

me: (*blush* i nodd...)

People around us move around, pushing us up against each other...!! kyaa!!♥

toma: (firmly puts one arm around me, softly~) daijoubu?

me: (*doki doki* !! i nod) mm... (i lightly hold him around the waist for a moment and rest my head on his shoulder... ah... i like crowded trains if it means being closer to toma... if anyone sees us like this, we can just say we were holding on to each other, steadying ourselves on the shaky, crowded train, right? oh, who cares...i just want him to hold me...♥)

toma: [yr name]...

me: mmn?♥

toma: is it just me, or did that guy really look a lot like nino??

me: (laughs) yes, he does!

[dunno where toma lives....i'm guessing near/in shibuya, cuz Johnny's headquarters is located there and he's been seen there a lot...but shibuya's a popular place to be anyway, so... but i'm just gonna pretend...that he lives in akasaka, in minato-ku.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minato,_Tokyo#Rail
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akasaka,_Tokyo

Akasaka: A large residential and commercial area in northern Minato which includes the Akasaka Palace, State Guest House and surrounding gardens, TBS radio and television studios, Ark Hills complex, National Art Center, and the embassy of the United States.

http://www.flickr.com/search/?q=akasaka [pics of the area!]

5:33pm @Akasaka Station

toma says it'll take about 10 minutes from here...it's getting dark now, the sun has disappeared from the horizon...and it's quite cold. there's not much people walking around here.

to be continued...

kate here~
i added some toma pics
to make this page prettier and less dark...
also added some stuff (in the light purple text) and fixed typos...
and now, PART 2 of the story! enjoy~.
i will *try* to update each day, even if it's just a little bit. yey~!
look forward to it....ja! ^.^

we walk for a little while, when the clouds gather above us and it starts raining again...toma quickly opens up the umbrella and covers us.

toma: (turns to me and laughs) ah, i guess i can only stop the rain for so long...

me: (smiles) mm...but i like walking with you in the rain, toma...

toma: (purses his lips and nodds cutely) ore mou~.

[A VIDEO CLIP W/THE SOUND OF RAIN FALLING AND SOME THUNDER...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pSyYhRYeIM]

We walk about 5 more minutes in the rain...toma holds the umbrella and i hold our bag of food. it's not raining very hard...ah, so romantic neeeee. and the sounD of the rain falling is soothing. our shoulders lightly touch as we walk closely together to stay dry...♥ i'm not sure...but i think toma seems nervous, like me... he would sometimes glance at me and then quickly look away when i see him...[like takemoto! http://i508.photobucket.com/albums/s322/ilovetoma2/secretglancecrush.gif]

soon, we reach the building. [maybe it looks something like this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/romiozeki/3597644409/in/set-72157619048702633/]
*nervous* and we go in, taking the elevator to the 5th floor. *heart beating faster* we walk down the small hallway and reach the front door.

5:47pm @the Ikuta residence

toma: (cheerfully) we're here! (he unlocks the door, and opens it, holding up 1 hand in a "welcome!" "ta da!" pose, smiling) douzo!

[PICS OF JAM-CHAN. actually, i think toma was never in an official photoshoot with her!! though sometimes i thought he was. but they were not jam! lol.
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2739/4330961031_7a806c61da_o.png
[jam + toma socks]
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2714/4347151475_e1b6493cd6_o.jpg
[jam in 2006]
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2742/4428761478_915ee12f0a_o.jpg
[jam in 2009]
http://img205.imageshack.us/img205/7596/june20082.jpg
[credit: strawberry_gemm.....june2008 iki kot jam-chan!!!]

Jam immediately runs out to greet toma, all hyper and jumping up and down. ^_^

toma: (crouches down, petting jam) tadaima!

jam notices me and starts sniffing at me curiously. we take off our shoes and boots. i wave at jam. =)

toma: jam, this is [yr name]. boku no kanojo des. be nice to her~.

me: (i saw to jam, cheerfully) doumo!

i kneel down and lightly pet her on the head. she wags her tail and keeps sniffing me.

toma: (smiles) yappari, she likes you ne.

me: ka~waii! (jam loses interest in me and goes over to toma's side. xD)

toma: (smiles, cheerfully) so... this is where i live... i'll show you around.

[http://www.flickr.com/photos/mi-ki/2911870424/in/set-72157607723793967/]

he leads me through different parts of the house...it's a little small, but nice and neat. [i imagine it should be a modern kinda home, like in the pics set below, but i found some info and pics of traditional japanese homes, too, check out the info and pics in my info post below!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mi-ki/sets/72157607723793967/]

he stops at the room at the end of the hall, however...the door is closed (actually, all the bedroom doors are closed).

toma: (a little embarassed) this is my room. but i need to straighten it up first... (laughs) ano... why don't you go heat up our food, i'll be out in a little while...

me: (nod, smiles) ok~. (ah~ i can't wait to see his room!!♥)

i walk towards the living room. toma goes inside his room and shuts the door behind him. jam follows me. about 10 minutes later, toma comes out. just a little bit after i finished reheating our food in the microwave. jam has wandered off somewhere...

me: (kneeling at the table, sweetly~) otto, dinner's ready.
[go-shujin and kanai/okusan are what husband and wifes call each other. but i like how otto and tsuma (how they refer to each other to a 3rd person) sounds better, so i'll just use these. lol.]

toma: (smiles, kneels down) ah... tsuma~ arigatou! (laughs)
[his sweet & cute smile!!
http://i508.photobucket.com/albums/s322/ilovetoma2/3promoteVOICE--5min20090112dokud-4.jpg]

me: (♥♥!! laughs)

Even though it's a little cold here, sitting at the kotatsu, it's warm and cozy!

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kotatsu

example of a kotatsu:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3290/3127734672_debdb2c071.jpg

kotatsu in VOICE:
http://i508.photobucket.com/albums/s322/ilovetoma2/voice-%20screencaps/Voice05704x396avi_000763829.jpg
http://i508.photobucket.com/albums/s322/ilovetoma2/voice-%20screencaps/ep8.png]

i sit close to the table and cover my legs with the blanket and sit cross-legged. toma also tucks himself under the blanket, across the table from me.

toma: itadakimas!

me: itadakimasu~

we start to eat. toma even looks cute when he's eating...heehee. [like this: http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/7191/53270877201001241915340.gif] and toma pours some tea for us, into some really small, pretty teacups. and it's still raining outside...

mm...2010 will surely be a very exciting and busy year for toma...i'm so happy for all his success! so proud of all the things he got to do recently, too...but that reminds me...! i reach over and lightly punch him in the arm.

[we take turns eating and talking...so we're not just talking, you see...]

toma: iteh! nanideshthindayo??

me: nande?? why didn't you tell me back then, that you were gonna be in that documentary show....they were filming you since may of last year!!

toma: (nervously scratches behind his ear) ma...i wasn't supposed to tell anyone. dakara...

me: ja, did you tell yamashita?

toma: (hesitant, looks down) mm...

me: areh? you did! (yappari...he tells yamashita everything...)

toma: (embarassed) gomen ne. (laughs)

me: (smiles) daijoubu...wakarimashita...(thoughtfully) but really...i really liked that show...it was an important time in your life...i'm glad a lot of these important moments was captured so beautifully for everyone to see...

toma: (smiles, looking at me...)

me: but i wish the show was longer! and seeing you all alone sometimes, working so hard...it makes me a little sad. i wish i could be there beside you...

but your precious experiences when working on these movies...i really felt so proud of you!! toma, you really worked so hard in 2009 ne! ...and i think all actors have doubts and are unsure of themselves and their acting sometimes...you don't have to worry...but it's good to always strive to be better! ...toma, you are a seriously talented and cool guy!!♥ hounto ni!

((kate's post about the iku docu. lots of screencaps: http://ikutatomalove.blogspot.com/2010/02/my-thoughts-screencaps-of-iku-docu.html. and go here to watch it subbed in eng.! http://community.livejournal.com/tomalicious_frm/36583.html. also, a roughly subbed version of jounetsu tairiku at youtube!! =) go here for the links:
http://community.livejournal.com/japan_now/470512.html#cutid2))

toma: (purses his lips, nodding, like this: http://i46.tinypic.com/21eq34o.jpg, modestly~) arigatou ne...iya~ it was a little strange, but interesting experience, being followed and filmed all the time...

me: sugoi ne! it felt like...we could be a part of your life for a while...

toma: (laughs) ba~ka. you ARE a part of my life! (smiles)
[a sweet sweet smile, like this: http://i48.tinypic.com/izatsj.jpg,
http://img264.imageshack.us/img264/3981/snapshot20100121182109.png]

me: (laughs) sou desu... that part that you did the push-ups on the chairs was KAKKOII!!

toma: sou dayo. it was cool, until i gave up. (laughs)
[:D like this! http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/9/8/209169/0003de0y.gif]

toma: but. i'm sorry...sometimes i can't tell you about certain things i'm doing... i don't like keeping secrets from you, kedo.

me: (pouts cutely) ii dateh. i understand...really! i was just kidding...i'm not mad at you. (ah, i can't get mad at you, toma... ♥)

toma: (smiles) but i did tell you about going to hawaii with my family for vacation ne!

me: mm! (smiles)
[toma went on the trip at the start of december 2009...of course he was really hyper about it...he finally get a break from work and it's been many years since he last went on a trip with his family! and he had a lot of fun (and rest!) there! he sent me lots of pretty pics of the scenary there...the mountains, beaches and sea...and of himself too, of course! like these pics here: http://pics.livejournal.com/hpswf1/pic/0030refa]

toma: (cheerfully) and i did call you before i went to the Tokyo Dome for the Johnny's Countdown, right?

me: hai! (smiles)
[toma called me on the night of december 31. he called to say happy new year, and excitedly said he was gonna be at the countdown concert!! xD i couldn't watch it live, but toma sent me some cute pics of himself in his sparkly outfits, in his dressing room...before and after the show! :D [like this pic here: http://pics.livejournal.com/hpswf1/pic/0030refa] (6.5)

toma: (thoughtfully rests his head on one hand...quietly) and of course you know...very soon...the premiere night, and the opening day...yappari, i'm really nervous about it.

to be continued...

part 3!!! douzo!
nanka...there's so much doki doki in this update!! yey.

by the way, paige,
i love how each time i come here,
toma turns around and looks at me f/the banner. ~_~
thank you~.

toma: (thoughtfully rests his head on one hand...quietly) and of course you know...tomorrow and saturday...the premiere night, and the opening day...yappari, i'm really nervous about it.

me: (reassuringly) shimpai sonna. daijoubu desu.

toma: (nods, smiles) i've waited for this day so long...i'm really proud of this movie!

me: (smiles) u should be! everyone will love this movie. kitto! and you'll be fine! you were fine at the first preview screening. so you'll be fine on the day at the premiere tomorrow night, too. (emotional) but i...i'm afraid i'm gonna cry when i see you at the premiere...i'm so happy for you... (i'm definitely gonna cry~)

toma: (gently) don't cry. if i see you cry...it'll make me cry too ne...

me: (softly) mm...i...i promise i won't cry. (i'm definitely gonna cry~!)

toma: (bites his lip) me too. (nervously scratches behind his neck) i'll really try not to... (he's definitely gonna cry too~!) (6.75)

me: hai! (in denial~) soshitte...just remember, all your friends, family, and fans are behind you, toma!! and me...we support you! hounto ni!

toma: (touched, purses his lips, nodding) mm! thank you! (he gently holds my hand) with you here with me, i have more energy...i feel more confident. (he looks at me lovingly...ah~hh!!♥ sometimes, he looks so cute, i have trouble looking straight at him!!!)

me: (*doki doki*, looking down, softly~) yokatta.

[i wanted to go to tokyo for the 1st ningen shikkaku preview screening BADLY!!! but toma said he'd rather i come when the movie officially premieres...and i guess i couldn't afford to go to japan twice in such a short period of time anyway....i felt really sad that i couldn't be there with him for that important moment!! all i could do was talk to him on the phone more and email him more... and that evening, i sent to his phone, a cute picture of myself making a thumbs up sign and i wrote: "ikeru yo! gambarre!! ^O^" and he sent me back, a cute pic of himself, in his classy suit and fancy hairstyle, making a victory sign...sitting in the car on the way there. and he replied: "arigatou.♥ gambarimas!!"]

((kate's post about the 1st ningen preview screening here. pics and news!!: http://ikutatomalove.blogspot.com/2010/02/ningen-shikkaku-1st-preview-screening.html))

and toma talks about what will happen tomorrow and the next day...tomorrow: some more promoting on tv shows, and he'll show up at several theatres for the stage greetings. (6.8) and of course, it's premiere night!! i don't have tickets to go see him at those greet-the-audience's, but it doesn't matter, cuz i am gonna wait till saturday to watch the movie together with toma, anyhow. but i'll still come and wait outside the theatre for him at the 15:50 greet-the-audience tomorrow and the 13:35 one on saturday. i want to at least see him walk inside! but toma tells me to remember to dress more warmly while i wait there, be careful that i don't catch a cold, since it's so freezing cold these days...^_^ hai! and 18:50 is the official premiere. the premiere screening!! i'll definitely be sitting in the theatre, cheering for him. ^O^ but i'll have to leave before the movie starts, though i really wanna stay and watch it!! but of course, i'd rather watch it with toma sitting next to me... (6.9)

saturday is the opening daY!! some greet-the-audience's. toma's excited that they added one more that day at 13:35, cuz so there's still so many people that want to buy tickets to the greet-the-audience screenings. :D that's why i'm going to that one, cuz it's the special, added just recently, one! i tell him it feels almost like he's having a concert and they're adding shows at the last minute...sugoi!! toma agrees. lol.

and we decide that if toma can see me in the crowd (whether before the stage greetings or at the premiere, the signal he'll use to let me know that he sees me is...he'll look down for a moment and flick his bangs. xD i hope he can see me...surely there will be a lot of fangirls waiting outside each theatre. and not sure if he'll be able to see me from where i'm sitting that night, for the premiere.
but i already told him the seat number, so he knows in which direction to look for me. ^^

me: (cheerful) wah...sounds exciting...gambatte ne!

toma: i'm really so hyper about it already! (laughs) sugoi ne...(quietly) demo...i'm afraid i'll be so busy, i won't be able to see you at all tomorrow...

me: (oh no...but i try to hide my disappointment. cheerfully~) it's ok, i understand. genki deshitte! u can still call me or text me....and i'll be in the audience at the premiere, cheering for you!! ~_~

Toma purses his lips and nods. (purses his lips like so: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_jm6-5TTfYyE/S2ZrTu3iaAI/AAAAAAAAD0o/AR21acZ2QiU/s1600-h/2jan29show.PNG) and he smiles and comes over and hugs me.♥ and he lightly strokes my hair and pulls back, looking intently at me...(kyaa...!!) he gently touches my cheek... *blush* he leans closer...i close my eyes...*doki doki*

but then... jam starts barking. not now!! i open my eyes. toma stands up.

toma: (embarassed) gomen. i should go feed her. i'll be right back. (i nod)

I refill my teacup and take a sip....staring out the window....it's raining hard, and there are flashes of lightning. ameh...i think of toma and yamashita singing and dancing to Yokubou no rain. the rain of want...of desire...

[toma and yamashita singing the song in 2002, with translated lyrics in the description!!
youtube.com/watch?v=J21wTwrDKVc. look in the related videos on the right side for the clip of them singing it together in 2009 at yamapi's concert!!]

"outside it's rain rain raining, i want you
crazy rain, but u're not here
the raindrops tap their nails against the window
stirring up an urge in me"

i can't help it...i start to daydream about us...in his bedroom. fu fu fu...
[***WARNING*** INTENSE FANTASY COMING UP!! a little ero...]

Just the 2 of us in his bedroom...my heart is beating so fast....in this dark room, the only light is coming from his small desk lamp....

toma: (sits down on his bed and gestures for me to come sit next to him) kochi koi~♥

me: (kyaa!!♥) hai~ (i sit down next to him...his bed is nice and firm...)

we look at each other sweetly....toma smiles and tilts his head, leans over, and kisses me gently...tenderly...we hold onto each other. he pulls me closer...his kiss...!! i can't help it...i start to get excited....we kiss more passionately and....we both know we can't hold back any longer. and then... *gasp* toma pulls me down on the bed with him... he strokes my back...i hold on to his slender waist. my sweater has ridden up a little...his fingers brush past the bare skin at my waist, as he lightly grasps my skirt... (oh, toma...keep going...) i kiss him harder...and he starts to unbutton my sweater...*gasp* i nervously clench the bed sheets.... (7)

[I stopped at this moment...for various reasons...
but as always, it's yr story too, so do what u want...hmm....??!!]

a bright flash of lightning and loud rumbling thunder startles me!! i drop the tea cup in my lap. i'm back! i'm feeling so hot and my heart is still racing...i quickly get up and run to the bathroom. toma sees me from the kitchen.

toma: doushitte?

me: (red-faced, really really embarassed) i spilled some tea...dakara...

toma: souka...

I rush into the bathroom. i turn on the cold water of the sink and splash my face with it...still so hot...i need like, a tub of ice or something!! BAKA!! CALM DOWN!! i get some water on my skirt, where i spilled the tea, rubbing it clean...hurry! think unsexy thoughts! (8) war, death, cancer...lung disease...smoking...ah, toma is so kakkoii when he's smoking....♥ [don't get me wrong, i don't like smokers, but damn...he does look so HOT when he smokes!!! lol. remember those pics of him smoking in Grease or kinda smoking in Maou?? or in ningen shikkaku?]

AH!! NO NO NO! *shakes my head hard*

i splash some more cold water on my face....and i wait a little while before i go back out...when i go back to the living room, i see toma sitting cross-legged next to the table, holding his phone, he's texting someone. jam is sitting in his lap.

toma: (looks up at me and pouts cutely) ah, there you are.

toma sitting there with jam in his lap...kawaii!! he's so boyishly cute and adorable!!♥ idiot!! how could u think such dirty thoughts about him?! shame on you!! =0

me: (smiles) sending your friend a message?

toma: iie. i'm writing today's entry for Toma's Room.

me: (hyper) eh! hounto ni?? can i see?

toma: (smiles, nodding) sure, if you can't wait.
[i don't live in japan, so i can't subscribe to his blog to get his messages automatically sent to my cell phone. but he always sends his entries to me himself, after he writes it. =)]

(i kneel down behind him, my hands on his shoulder, leaning close to look at the cell phone screen as he's typing. jam leaves toma's lap and wanders off.)

toma's message:
(Toma's Room, Vol.329)

eating dinner with someone~

tomorrow is finally the Premiere Night.
those who can come i dearly hope that u will be careful [coming].
the theatre pamphlets have been completed by the way, and they are really quite nice. it's all photos that were not used in the photobook too, so i like it a lot. look forward to it.

now then... first let's meet on Recomen

(8.5)

and he pushes the send button. and then he sends the same message to my phone. ah~! he mentioned me in his blog!! *_* i give him a hug.♥

me: (sweetly) u mentioned me! arigatou ne!

toma: (holds onto my arm) of course. (looks at me, quietly) you're my girlfriend ne.

[awww!!♥ i hug him tight. he leans his head on mine...]

me: i'll definitely listen to Recomen tonight! ah...i really love your blog's new name...toma's room.♥

toma: (sweetly) mm...and you can see my real room soon ne! (looks at the table) ano...we should finish eating.

me: (oh, right...i let go of him) hai!

i go back to my side of the table and sit down...i look at toma and smile. he smiles back at me. [his smile is like this....http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_jm6-5TTfYyE/S1u14u4sc8I/AAAAAAAADx4/Btv9LFS9cB4/s1600-h/tomaDaddy%26girl.PNG] kawaii.♥ sitting here with him, eating dinner like this...i feel so cozy and comfortable...(except that i'm not comfortable with sitting like this for a long time...)

we finish our bentos and eat the sweets we picked out. ah...sweet!! ~_~ and so, we finish our first dinner at home together...toma starts gathering the empty boxes/bags on the table to throw them away. i'm about to stand up to help him, but...1 of my legs is asleep!!

me: yappe!

toma: eh?

me: gomen! i want to help you, but my leg is asleep...chotto... (i slowly turn and try to stretch out my legs, careful to not reveal myself [though i've got more things on underneath since it's so cold] cuz i'm wearing a skirt...)

toma: (laughs) it's alright. i've got it. (he puts everything into a big bag and goes to the kitchen to throw it away.)

me: doumo! (rubbing my leg...)

toma comes back. i manage to stand up. but my left leg is still completely numb/tingly!! i really can't move right now...

toma: (shyly) ano...come on... i'll show you my room.

me: (GAH!! I SO WANT TO SEE YOUR ROOM, TOMA!!♥♥♥ i smile.... but...) hai!

(i really try...but i can barely move...yukuri...i take a few steps...toma sees how slow i'm moving...and says...)

toma: (pouts cutely) is your leg still...

me: (embarassed, nodding) mm. daijoubu... (i try to keep walking...i can't! i stop) ehhh...why don't you go ahead, i need a couple minutes...

toma: (looks at me, hesitant...) ano...i can carry you...ii no ka?

me: (ahhh!♥♥ *doki doki* softly~) uh...hai~.

I wrap my arms around his neck and he easily picks me up in his arms...he looks at me...i look at him... *blush* i quickly look away... he carries me to his room...i never thought i'd enter toma's room like this!! in his arms...

(sketch of toma's room that he made a few yrs back. the circles at end of bed are his clothes on the floor, i think. lol.)

(edit: here are 2 pics of toma's room that he took himself, shown on the 5LDK show f/may 2009:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2742/4428761478_915ee12f0a_o.jpg
[jam & golf stuff]
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2786/4428761444_3fa57a2b96_o.jpg
[toma's dvd & cds])

[maybe his room looks something like this? except for the light hanging above.http://www.flickr.com/photos/romiozeki/3597633333/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/romiozeki/3598439804/in/set-72157619048702633/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/romiozeki/3597636405/in/photostream/]

6:49pm @Toma's room

there are some candles lit in his kinda dark room...[like in this pic below~ credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/daveandcaz/3623469071/] there's a nice, flowery scent...and there's only one desk lamp lit in his room, just like i had imagined!! his room is small, but neat and clean. there's a lot of CDs and DVDs on his 2 shelfs, a small laptop and the desk lamp on his little table, a chair, a tv, some other things...and...his bed.

toma gently puts me down on his bed...he lingers close to me for a moment, still holding on to me... *melts* toma's gaze...him leaning over me...on his bed!! *blush* ...that's it. i'm helpless...*doki doki* i look at him... *swallows nervously*

to be continued...

ja....that fantasy. xD sumimasen! *embarassed*
(now i'm not sure if it's any good though. reread and edited it so many times. edited a little more today!! lol. but i actually ended up typing up this part back in feb., on my bday!! still...i hope it made u doki doki~ when u read it. xD)

it's me~.
kate desu.

PART 4.

(dramatic pause)
......
.......
what happens next??
just read and see. xD

sorry, just a short update this time. need to post at TL and catch up with some toma stuff. and since yesterday was quite a long update and that fantasy too....

just then...jam runs into the room.

toma: (lets go of me, smiling. cheerfully~) so! this is my room...(looks around)

me: (still *doki doki*) ah. (i nod) ii ne...

And it's still raining outside...toma plays with jam...my leg is ok now. i walk around...wow. he's really got a ton of CDs and DVDs. all neatly stacked on his shelfs. ah...this is where toma watches dvds, listens to his CDs, checks his email, watches tv, and where he.....sleeps.♥ but...the candles??

toma: (notices me looking at the candles) oh. that's just cuz i want my room to smell nice. (smiles) i wasn't trying to be romantic or anything...(he blows out the candles) (9)

me: souka. (laughs) it smells really nice in here!

Jam runs over and playfully tugs at my skirt...ah, even though you stopped us from kissing earlier and maybe just now, i can't be mad at you, you little cutie!! ~_~ i kneel down and pet her. she licks my hand~ awww!! ^.^ oh...i remember, i bought her a chew toy! :D

me: (to toma) i'll be right back!

toma: mm! (nods. he crouches and picks up jam and gives her a hug.♥ kawaii!! and he holds her cutely in his lap, like in this pic: http://img123.imageshack.us/img123/8905/potato09081.jpg)

i grab my bag from the living room floor and bring it to toma's room. jam runs over to me. i take the chew toy from my bag and give it to her. it's a small, cute strawberry plush chew toy. ^_^

[it might look something like the one in the pic on the left. oh, i'm giving her a strawberry toy cuz toma named jam after strawberry jam. =)]

she likes it!! =) jam happily bites/plays with her new toy.

toma: kawaii~. (smiles at her)

We play with jam-chan for a while...she even lets me hug her after a while!! so adorable... and toma is so sweet and gentle with her....seeing him like this...it makes me think of how he'll surely be a good daddy in the future...♥

[when toma plays with jam-chan....he's so sweet, like this:
http://img123.imageshack.us/img123/8905/potato09081.jpg
toma and a CUTE, TINY white poodle. i remember reading....he was so caring and protective of the puppy, the owner was impressed and thought it was so sweet, how he was gentle and loving w/the puppy!!!]

after a while, jam looks tired and lies down in one corner of his room. toma turns to me and cheerfully says "ja...wanna watch a movie now?"

me: hai!

toma: (walks over to his shelf and pulls out a DVD) i remember you said you liked this movie. it'd be nice to just relax and watch a funny movie...

me: (i look at the dvd) School of Rock! sugoi!
[substitute this with whatever funny movie you like...i figure toma's very stressed out and so he'd want to watch a funny movie...it can be any, japanese, american, whatever...if it's popular enough, sure they've got it dubbed/subbed in japan...]

Toma puts the dvd in and turns on his tv. and the movie starts. we sit next to each other on the floor, on some cushions. we laugh together...toma's laugh is so cute, too!!♥

just around 20 minutes into the movie, jam gets up and sniffs at my bag on the floor...she must think i have more toys for her...

toma gets the box of chocolates i gave him earlier from his bag and carefully opens it. ~_~

toma: (picks up one piece of chocolate and smiles at me, opening his mouth...gesturing for me to open my mouth too, cutely~) kore~

me: (open my mouth. he pops it in my mouth) mm...oishii!!

toma: (puts a piece in his mouth...) ah~ umai!!

we look at the box, seeing which we should try next...i was gonna pick one and put it in his mouth when....i notice jam has been messing with my bag!! she's spilled my things all over the floor!!

me: (scolding) jam-chan!!
(i rush over and shoo her away, picking up my things and putting it back in my bag. jam runs to one corner of the room and sulks...)

toma: gomen ne! (he helps me pick up my things...)

But then...he picks up a folded piece of paper...

toma: eh? (looks at it)

It says: "to Toma" on it. THE PAPER!! THE NOTE I WROTE TO HIM ON THE AIRPLANE!! oh no!! i try to grab it from toma.

me: toma, give it to me!

toma: (pushes my hand away) but this is for me! it says so~ (he stops the movie)

me: (desperately~) iya, nandemonai! please give it back!! (keep trying to grab it from behind him, but he holds it out of my reach...)

toma: (playfully~) no! it's mine! (he opens the folded note and reads it)

i cover my face, embarassed...YAPPE!! i should have thrown it away, when i threw away the note i wrote to my family earlier...but nanka...i wanted to keep it for some reason....

and Toma slowly looks up at me...his mouth slightly open in surprise...

this is what i wrote:

Toma, aishiteru.

zutto.

[yr name]

i collapse, face down on his bed...SO EMBARASSING!! itchiimatta...i said it. and now he knows...how i really feel about him......

but then i hear jam running outside...i hear toma closing the door.....?!!! i sit up and look at him. toma smiles, looks at me lovingly and sits down next to me. *doki doki*!! the room is so quiet now...i can hear the rain falling softly outside....

to be continued...

ehhh!
somehow it seems like we're back at the same moment where we ended last time!! lol. gomen! back at toma's bed again. kyaa!! xD please wait till tomorrow to see what happens next. jam won't be able to interrupt us this time, toma made sure of that.....!!

hi hi! kate desu.
oh, an edit i added at the start of the fanfic:
"seems like everywhere i look, i see those RED ningen shikkaku posters....sugoi!! ^O^ it's a little surreal... xD"

and so....here's the 5TH PART of the story.♥
really TOO MUCH doki doki...! *faints*

toma: (still holding the piece of paper, looks at me seriously. *blush*! quietly~) did you...want to give me this note with the box of chocolates? (his intense gaze...*dies*!! kinda like this! http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_jm6-5TTfYyE/S499pm67a9I/AAAAAAAAEEQ/hlW5FjGT8HQ/s1600-h/THATmagazineCover.JPG )

me: (EH!! he's really blushing a little!!♥ his intense gaze...!! *dies* look down, then back up at him. softly~) ano...

toma: (looks at me in such a loving way...purses his lips and smiles~ softly, but firmly~) [yr name]...aishiteru.

me: (GAH!! he said it!! i....i.... ♥♥♥♥♥ i feel like i'm dreaming....URESHII!! *doki doki* i look at him...*blush* )

Toma carefully puts the paper down on the bed. he looks at me and smiles so sweetly...he tilts his head, leans over, and starts kissing me gently... tenderly...and we hold onto each other. he pulls me closer...his touch...his soft lips.... ah... and maybe because he knows how i truly feel now...he... he kisses me in a way.... we have never kissed like this before...♥ no holding back...i'm completely his... and i...i will give in...to anything he wants...

we kiss again and again....i'm so completely happy. and i realize anew, how i really love him so much.... and i think, tonight...i want him to......really make me his wife...

but somehow....toma stops us from going too far....(and i'm actually relieved~) ...and he's not as intense...and he kisses me more softly... i love him even more for this!! we shouldn't rush into things....(though i would have no regrets if we did...and i'm sure it would be...amazing.) and so i kiss him one more time. lightly on the cheek...and i (reluctantly) gently pull away from him. we open our eyes...

me: (i look at him, and i finally say, softly~) toma...aishiteru. (a little teary-eyed)

He smiles at me. God, he's beautiful! toma, i love you! i really love you so much....i hug him tightly. he holds me close, his face buried in my hair, and mine in his shoulder....i can feel his heart beating fast...

toma: (quietly) i wish you could always be by my side... i wish you didn't have to go back in a few days...

me: (quietly) toma...

toma: (shakes his head, softly) you don't have to say anything...i understand...just let me hold you for a while longer.

me: (toma...♥ i nod~) mm.

It keeps raining...
i could stay in his warm embrace forever...........
i'm not sure how much time goes by.........

but then....!!

we hear a sound at the front door...someone's come home!! toma and i quickly let go of each other.

male voice f/outside: tadaima!

toma: (we stand up) it's my little brother!! why is he home so early?!

me: (panics) toma, lock the door!

toma: the lock on my door is broken! i've been so busy, i keep forgetting to fix it!

me: (freaking. out. 0__0) doshio?? (look for a place to hide) your closet??

toma: no, i just stuffed a bunch of my clothes in there, there's no room! (he opens the closet door. it looks quite messy and is filled with clothes)

And then he says those 4 little words!!♥
that would make any girl faint!!

toma: get in my bed!

me: EH!!!??

toma: hayaku! he's coming!! get in my bed, under the covers, now! (he quickly grabs some of his big jackets from the closet and throws them on the bed)

me: hai! (who knew, toma has to ask me twice, for me to get into bed with him... xD)

I get on his bed, and under the covers. toma turns on the TV (some gameshow is on...) and...kyaa!!♥ gets into bed with me. he carefully puts the jackets over my side of the bed, kinda covering me...and i curl up close to him...my heart is racing...

toma: (pats my head) don't worry, just don't move... (he covers me up with the comforter again. he sits with his legs slightly pulled up, trying to partially cover my side of the bed...i hear the door opening)

ryuusei: tadaima~.

toma: okaeri! ano...why are u home so early?

ryuusei: i didn't feel well, so i left early...i think i'm sick... (curious) what are you doing?

toma: (nervous) uh...bezuni. i was gonna clean my closet, but i got lazy, so...just watching tv.

me: (i wonder what ryuusei looks like?? only seen pics of him when he was little...he looked like toma then...his voice sounds nice.

under here...it's nice... the comforter is soft, clean and cozy...but. i'm facing...well...toma's lower half...quite awkward...!!

ryuusei: oh... (not quite convinced)

toma: ja, go take some medicine then, and get some rest.

ryuusei: hai...i'll just go take a bath first, though.

toma: mm. (silence...he left? toma touches my shoulder and whispers~) stay here.

Toma gets out of bed and shuts the door. and he comes back and....!!! climbs into bed with me!!♥♥♥ both of us under the covers...it's kinda dark, but we can still see each other...*blush*!!

me: (*doki doki*, scared/excited!!!!) nanideshthindayo?? (what if he comes back??)

toma: (touching my cheek, softly~) daijoubu...

me: (*melts* TRYING HARD to think straight! whispers~) i've gotta leave...

toma: (pulls me closer...!! i try to resist...failing!! he whispers~) i just want to hug you one more time before you go...

ahh... THIS IS INSANE!! but i can't help it...i stop resisting...it's my weakness... i always want to indulge him...i let him pull me close... kyaa!!♥ toma hugs me tightly... (a cute hug...kinda like when he hugged yamashita at his concert: http://pics.livejournal.com/strawberry_gemm/pic/000a0c3k/ ) just an innocent hug, but we're lying in his bed together...our bodies close....!! we cling to each other...and then he lets me go.

toma: (smiles, whispers) ja, i'll check to make sure he's really in the bathroom, and then you can leave.

me: (still *doki doki*) hai~.

toma: (carefully buttons up the buttons at the top of my sweater.♥ he smiles~) it's cold ne~ take my umbrella so you don't get wet. i don't want you to catch a cold. (it's raining hard now...)

me: (toma...♥!! he's so sweet!!!) hai~.

toma gets out of bed and walks outside, leaving the door half-open. i slowly sit up a little, peeking out... he really said "aishiteru" to me!!! he really~ loves~ me too... and i lightly touch my lips... *blush*

((actually....there was supposed to be another kiss!! but i cut it out....but u can read it below, here. xD: http://andonthatrainyday.blogspot.com/2010/03/explanations-for-certain-parts-in-story.html))

toma appears at the doorway and gestures cutely that it's ok to come out...to come here. ^^ [like this: http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/9/8/209169/tomacomeHere.gif]

i get out of bed and get my bag. he lightly touches the small of my back as i walk pass him.♥ but then he goes back in his room, and he comes out with a big jacket. [a big jacket kinda like his in hanamizuki:http://i965.photobucket.com/albums/ae139/ykt11111111/f4f015ca.jpg]

toma: (whispers) it's really cold, wear this.

me: uh...hai... (ah~ toma's jacket!!)
(he helps me put it on...and it smells nice...it smells like toma.♥)

He walks me to the doorway. i put on my boots and get the umbrella.

me: (whispers) ikemas~.

toma smiles and gives me a quick kiss on the lips.♥

toma: (whispers) mm. call me when u are back at your hotel.

me: i will. (purse my lips) sore ja.

i open the door...i take a few steps...and turn back to look at him.

me: ja ne~. (smiles)

toma: (nodds, smiling) ja ne~.

i take the elevator down...i open the umbrella and walk outside. the rain is pouring down... it's very cold and dark, but i still feel so warm...especially because i'm wearing toma's jacket.... i'm still so hyper and happy... i reach out my hand to feel the cold rain drops in the palm of my hand...

all the way back, i keep thinking of that track from hana kimi...ikemen boogie nights... [or whatever romantic song/music u like...] and thinking of what just happened between us in toma's room... and everything else that we've shared... this past december when we met again and he confessed his feelings for me...how we became so close in 2009...and how in december 2008, we met for the first time...on that rainy day. and now...also on a rainy day....he told me...and i told him...and we...ahhh...!!♥♥

8:35pm @my hotel room

i'm sitting on my bed....still so unbelievably happy cuz of what happened a short while ago...still wearing his jacket... i get my cell phone out and call him.

me: moshi mosh. ~_~

toma: (sweetly~) [yr name]?

me: hai~! i'm back in my hotel room.

toma: souka.

me: mm.

toma: ano...

me: nani?

toma: gomen, my brother interrupted our date...

me: daijoubu. mou, it was very romantic. (smiles)
(NO, IT WAS MORE LIKE....UNBELIEVABLE!!!♥)

toma: (cutely) yokatta~.
...but i've gotta go now. i'll call you later ne.

me: ok. matta ne! ^O^

toma: ja ne!

9:29pm @my hotel room

i just finished taking a shower, when the phone rang. i wrap a towel around me and get out. the mirror is all steamed up. i write "i ♥ toma." on it. xD i go out to answer my phone. yappari, it's toma ne. somehow, i feel embarassed to talk to him when i'm like this...! *blush* i drape his jacket around my shoulder, sit down on the bed and answer it.

me: (cutely) hai, [yr name] des~.

toma: toma dayo~. what are you doing?

me: (embarassed) uh...bezuni.

toma: souka... in case you'll be asleep later, i just wanted to say an early good night. i'm going to the radio station now. Recomen, deh~!

me: ah, i'll stay up and listen to it! (just bought a small radio today just to listen to Recomen tonight. haha. i love how hyper and playful he is when he's around yoko and hina!! Recomen is from 10pm-1am. but toma probably won't stay for the whole show, at least i hope not, don't want him to have to stay up late tonight...)

[you can read the translation of what they talked about on recomen that night and also get the link to DL the whole show here. thanks to enshinge!!!! (FUNNY!!! THOSE SILLY BAKA GUYS....AH... xD) http://enshinge.livejournal.com/409411.html#cutid1]

toma: arigatou! (softly) ja, oyasumi.

me: (quietly) oyasumi.
(ah...i think of how cute toma must look when he's sleeping...♥

(something like this ne:
http://i732.photobucket.com/albums/ww330/nurulwau/619302953136_1.jpg
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_jm6-5TTfYyE/S3jZxr6jyII/AAAAAAAAD9w/sMeKFH_XY-A/s400/%2Bact---sleep.PNG
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_jm6-5TTfYyE/SjL1d4AHuNI/AAAAAAAACz8/F2KF3a4qr9Y/s1600-h/kawaiiSleep.PNG
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_jm6-5TTfYyE/SjL02PHlItI/AAAAAAAACz0/suA3MmtQjIU/s1600-h/beauty+sleep.PNG)

to be continued...

ah, finally done with our first day together!! whew~

kyaa!!♥ i did it!! what do u think?? xD
spent quite some time editing/adding to THAT~ part today...(it's much longer than it was originally...and so...kate experienced this~ today, along with everyone of you~ who read it!) but it's sooooo worth it....so much doki doki. seriously~!! *faints*
(and "indulge" is such a...powerful word. it really makes u feel....kyaa!!) *cover my mouth, embarassed* yappe...i'm still all doki doki right now!!! *blush* sumimasen! please excuse me...

(the rest of my fanfic shall be posted in the PART 2 post. pls go there to continue reading... ^^
http://andonthatrainyday.blogspot.com/2010/03/my-third-fantasy-encounter-with-toma.html)

*march 9 EDIT*:
sorry, the story's getting so long, my other posts have been pushed to the next page. for some reason, some don't show up at all?! but just click on them from the Blog Archive on the right side (right under toma's pic of him walking in the rain) and they will show up!!

and on that rainy day...

my 3rd (fantasy) encounter with toma: and so we watched a movie together~ ♥ (part 1)